Transcript Build Supportive & Diverse Relationships

Build Supportive & Diverse
Relationships
Chapter 12
• “I never realized I would interact with so many
new people in college. It’s both exciting and
frightening. I’ve been so focused on planning
my coursework that I’m not prepared to think
beyond my own little world.”
College
• Attending college offers many new
experiences and exposes you to a wide variety
of people with different backgrounds.
• Throughout this process you will learn how to
work with people.
Focus on Cooperation
• People spend 70% of their waking time
communicating, listening, speaking, writing,
and reading.
Communication
• Communication is the giving and receiving of
ideas, feelings, and information.
– You need to be able to listen and speak
– You need to be able to find common ground.
Common ground means focusing on similarities
and interests
– Some people are very good at making others feel
comfortable
Strategies for Building Communication
• 1. Be willing to find a common ground.
– Be honest
– Don’t be judgmental. You may pretend by pasting a fake smile on your face,
but this will not work.
• 2. Be an active listener.
– Listen, don’t talk.
– Put the speaker at ease. Create a supportive environment
– Know when you can’t listen and tell people.
• 3. Pay attention to body language.
– When your eyes wonder you appear bored.
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Be respectful.
Use warmth and humor.
Relate to a person’s personality style.
Relate to a person’s learning or teaching style.
Be a team player.
Assertive Communication
• Assertive Communication: expressing yourself
in a direct, above-board, and civil manner
Assertive Communication
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Passive People:
– Rarely express feelings, opinions, and desires
– Little self-confidence, low self-esteem, difficulty accepting compliments
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Aggressive People:
– Sarcastic, critical, and controlling
– Want to win at all costs and blame others for making them angry
– Resort to insults and criticisms
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Passive-aggressive People:
– Appear to be passive but act aggressively
– For example, when asked a question they wont respond, but then will go complain to
someone of higher authority
– May leave someone a nasty note or complain to others instead of addressing the problem
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Assertive People:
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State their needs and views directly
Use confident body language and speak in a clear, strong voice
Take responsibility for their actions
Respect themselves and others
In Order to Effectively Communicate
• 1. State the problem in clear terms.
– “I can’t study with the music so loud.”
• 2. Express your feelings.
– “I feel frustrated when the music is so loud, because I have an
exam tomorrow.”
• 3. Make your request.
– “Please turn the music down.”
• 4. Use assertive body language.
– Stay calm and centered. Use direct eye contact.
• 5. State the consequences.
– “If you will turn down the music, then I can study and our
relationships will be better. If not, then I will have to go to our
landlord.”
Communicating with Advisors &
Instructors
• 1. Clarify Expectations.
– Make sure you understand what the instructor or
advisor need from you.
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Clarify your concerns.
Adapt to your instructor’s teaching style.
Be open to learning.
Take Responsibility for your own learning.
Take an interest in your instructors.
Network.
Email Etiquette with Instructors
• 1. Use proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
– Don’t use CAPS, it means you are screaming
• 2. Avoid using slangs, abbreviations, or smileys.
• 3. Use proper greetings such as “Hello Dr. Smith”, not
“Hey Dr.”
• 4. Make it clear who you are.
• 5. Be smart about your email account name.
• 6. Be concise and to the point
• 7. Don’t use graphics
• 8. Always say “Thank you.”
Constructive Criticism
• How do you feel about constructive criticism?
Giving Constructive Criticism
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Establish a supportive climate.
Ask permission to offer criticism.
Focus on the behavior, not the person.
Stay calm.
Be balanced.
Explain
Receiving Criticism
• How do you usually react when someone
criticizes you?
Receiving Criticism
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Listen with an open mind.
Pay attention to nonverbal cues
Ask for clarification.
Ask for suggestions.
Explain your viewpoint.
Dealing with Shyness
• Shyness is very common. However, it is not
seen as a problem unless it interferes with
your life.