Transcript Nine Points of Assertive Communication

Nine Points of Assertive
Communication
Introduction: Inadequate communication skills have
been identified as a deficit that many people struggle
with. Communication can affect a person at school,
at work or within a family unit. Before this lesson is
taught a student should have a clear understanding
of self esteem. Students should also have been
taught about verbal and non-verbal communication.
After the lesson the students can be involved in role
playing. Another activity would be to give the student
scenarios and have them use the nine points of
assertive communication to resolve the conflict.
Nine Points of Assertive
Communication
Use Polite Words
Call a person by their name
Use appropriate words:
“excuse me”
“thank you”
“I appreciate it”
Begin sentences with “I”
(instead of “you”)
Begin with “I” when ever possible, followed by
the word that best states the problem clearly:
“I think…”
“I noticed…”
“I didn’t like…”
“I am concerned about…”
Using “you” puts the other person on the
defensive.
Say what you want
Don’t leave the other person in the dark
Show initiative
Let the person know your goal or possible
solution
Where appropriate: Describe
your feelings
This may only be appropriate with family
or friends
Ask how they are feeling
Criticize the behavior, not the
person
Don’t put the person down
Focus on their behavior when communicating
Instead of ”Your too slow!” say “I don’t think
you are doing your share of the work.”
If you did it, Admit it
If you make a mistake admit it
If you are accused of something, own up
to any part you actually did
We all make mistakes
Repeat the problem back
Keep on track
If other topics are introduced. Repeat the
problem back
This indicates that you want to solve the
original problem first
You can talk about other problems later
Compromise
Give something; take something
It’s not a war that you have to win
Be interested in solving the problem
Give and take
Make a commitment
Everyone has a clear understanding:
Answer: who, what, when, where, how much,
how many
For example:
Who’s going to do what?
When are they going to do it?
A commitment is a promise