Transcript Objectives - University of Cambridge

Advanced Communication Skills:
Was it something I said?
Networking
• Mental attitude
• Confidence (body
language, voice, words)
• Communication (ask,
listen, get, give)
• Good judgement
• Follow up
Objectives
• Build rapport in social/professional situations
• Deliver your message with enthusiasm,
sincerity and clarity
• Improve your skills in communicating
persuasively
• Give and receive criticism constructively
• Know when and how to use different
strategies for handling conflict
Persuasiveness
What is persuasive
communication?
X
Verbal
Vocal
Visual
It’s not about position
It’s not about using force
So why do people WILLINGLY
do what you want?
Because they..
• know you
• like you
• respect you
• admire you
and because they…
•
•
•
•
trust you
owe you
can see how it will benefit them
want to fit in with the majority
and because you….
• come across as competent/expert
• express clearly and succinctly what you
want/need
• make it easy for them
The persuasive mindset
Self-Control
Courageous
Clear goal
Compassionate
Curious
Collaborative
Committed
Plan
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
What do I know about person?
How can I hook them?
What do I really want?
What are my key points?
How can I bring them to life?
What objections are likely?
What’s my back up option?
What will make it easy for them
to agree?
• What will I do if we can’t agree?
3As model of communication
Plan
accuracy
90 second focus
Explore both stories
commitment
agreement
Mutual understanding
creativity
goodwill
Generate options
Agreed action plan
action
Make it two way!
Visual impact
•
•
•
•
•
•
Eye contact
Angle
Hands
Posture
Facial animation
Clothes
Vocal impact
volu
me
Pace
Ar-tic-ul-at-ion
Pitch
Planning corrective feedback
Mindset: desire to help, not hurt
How much is helpful?
Think what it says about you
Time it close to the event
Giving corrective feedback
Ask rather than tell
Avoid emotion-laden words
Be specific
Supportive, open body language
Be future oriented
Ensure degree of agreement
Beware assumptions
Suggest specific improvements
Focus on behaviour, not
personality
Handling aggression
Verbal strategies
• Even, warm tone of
voice
• Communicate clearly
and concisely
• Listen
• Don’t ignore questions
• Apologise if in error
• Show you’re keen to
find a solution
• Don’t take it personally
Handling aggression
Non-verbal
strategies
•Open position
•Calm gestures
•Watch personal
space
•Both sit down
•Don’t appear hurried
Kubler-Ross curve
Denial
Shock
Integration
Decisions
Frustration
Experiments
Acceptance
Depression
Handling criticism
• When do you respond positively to
criticism?
• When do you respond negatively?
• What makes the difference?
• What could you do better?
Handling criticism
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Emotional self-control
Roll with the punch
Hold back & ask questions
Repeat back
Consider whether justified
Avoid counter-attack
Show you value feedback
Ask for time
Act on it!
Causes of conflict
Respondents’ (%) rating as a most important source of conflict at work
Average
Personality clashes and warring egos
44
Poor leadership from the top
30
Poor line management
29
Poor performance management
21
Heavy workload/inadequate resources
14
Bullying/harassment
13
Lack of openness and honesty
12
Lack of clarity about accountability/ownership
12
Lack of role clarity
11
Clash of values
10
Stress
10
Taboo topics
9
Perceived discrimination
7
Poor selection of/pairing of teams
7
Self-talk in conflict
It’ll sort itself out.
I’ll call Liz. Maybe
we can go for a
quick coffee and I
can get it off my
chest.
I daren’t say
anything. It
might all blow
up in my face.
At least I can let
off steam on the
squash court later.
Right,
Right,she’s
now had
she’sit
now.
going
to to
had I’m
it. I’m
going
make
makeher
herlife
life a
amisery.
misery.
How not to manage conflict
Behind the scenes manipulation
Manoeuvring for position
Get you later games
Sarcastic jokes
Emotional blackmail
Concealing/giving false information
Defensiveness
Office politics
Gossiping
Bullying
Tension
Mistrust
Anxiety
Fatigue
Self-preservation
Low morale
STAGNATION
Dysfunctional communication
Poor decision making
Lower performance
Approaches to conflict
High
Accommodate
Collaborate
Importance
of
relationship
Compromise
Avoid
Compete
Low
High
Low
Importance of issue
Competing: how it sounds
Patronise
‘Calm down’
‘I think you’ll find…’
‘It was clearly stated….’
Clichés
‘I hear what you’re saying,…..but…’
‘I understand your position.’
‘With all due respect,…’
Judge
‘You’re over-reacting/
being unreasonable.’
‘That’s just typical of a man/techy/you’
Impose solutions
‘What you need to do is ….’
‘The best way forward is to..’
Trap
‘Surely you must admit that…’
‘You’re not suggesting that …?’
‘Isn’t it obvious that…?
Avoid concerns
‘That’s not the point.’
‘I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.’
‘What do you expect me to do about it?
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
Give negative message
‘… not possible’
‘….not our policy’
‘ can’t do that’
Be defensive
‘ Look, it’s not my fault.’
‘But I wasn’t informed of that.’
‘That’s not true.’
Have the last word
‘Anyway it’s done now, so there’s nothing more
to discuss.’
How to manage conflict
GROWTH
Effective decision making
Improved performance
Collaborative effort
Commitment
Trust
Motivation
Calmness
Energy
Honest, direct communication
Joint problem solving
Sharing information
Creative energy
Mutual respect
Assertiveness
Stages of development of conflict