Transcript SPV-Communication_Styles_jlh_2011

Levels of Communication
in our Daily Lives
“SPV”
Standards and Objectives
Standard:
ARR 2.0 - ARFL 4.00
Students will identify effective communication in
interpersonal relationships.
Objectives:
Identify various types of communication styles.
Define the levels of communication
Levels of Communication
1. Make a small circle with the groups
I have organized.
2. Everyone must participate.
3. No talking with other groups.
4. Everyone must listen with their
eyes.
5. When I call time you must stop
where you are.
6. If you have not finished the
previous round, finish it and then
move on.
Round #1
• Share an event
you have
experienced.
• Example:
Round #2
• Describe a
situation that has
proven to be a
good
INFLUENCE on
your life.
• Example:
Round #3
• Describe a quality
you already have
that will make you
a better parent or
spouse.
• Example:
Round #4
• You must give a
compliment to one
other person in
your group.
• Example
Levels of Communication
Discussion
Levels of Communication
• Event
Superficial
• Influence
Personal
• Personal Quality
Validating
• Compliment
Levels of Communication “SPV”
Superficial
Communication making up the
majority of our communication.
Talking about the weather,
Personal
home, school, food, etc.
Communication involving
opening up and talking about
feelings, beliefs and opinions
that mean something to you.
Validating
Communication reinforcing
people’s feelings about
themselves.
Levels of Communication
Questions
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Can a relationship remain stable for an extended period of
time if they communicate in a superficial state? Why?
Which levels of communication must a relationship strive
for in order to grow? Why?
Which was more difficult to share in group? Events,
Influences, Personal qualities, Compliments. Why?
What are some reactions that occurred in your group?
Explain why these occurred.
Why is it more difficult to share personal qualities and
compliments.
Why would you communicate superficially?
“You can tell more about a person by what he
says about others than you can by what
others say about him.”
--Leo Aikman
Video clips
Video Clips
• Goonies
• Say Anything
• Singles
•Validating
• Reality Bytes
• Sleepless in Seattle
•Superficial
•Superficial
•Superficial into
Personal ( Proximity
closer)
•Superficial to
Personal
1. What kind of communication makes up
majority of our conversations?
2. What kind of communication makes a
relationships stronger?
3. What is validating Communication?
What Validation Is
• To validate someone's feelings is first to
accept someone's feelings. Next, it is to
understand them, and finally it is to nurture
them.
Basic Steps to Validation
•
•
•
•
•
Acknowledging the other person's feelings
Identifying the feelings
Offering to listen
Helping them label the feelings
Being there for them; remaining present physically
and emotionally
• Feeling patient
• Feeling accepting and non-judgmental
Example of Validating
• I hear you.
That hurts
That's not good
• Wow, that's a lot to deal with
I would feel the same way.
(I would be sad/hurt/angry/jealous, etc. too)
• That is sad.
That sounds discouraging.
That sounds like it would really hurt
That must really hurt.
• I know just what you mean.
I would feel the same way.
I can understand how you feel.
It sounds like you are really feeling ____.
It sounds like is really important to you.
Validating necklaces
Students talk to one another about their
admirable qualities and traits they see in
each other. They must validate their
compliments. Each time they validate
someone they get a piece of yarn tied to
their necklaces.
Painful feelings that are expressed, acknowledged and
validated by a trusted listener will diminish.
Painful feelings that are ignored will gain strength. (1)
Painful feelings that are expressed,
acknowledged and validated by a trusted
listener will diminish.
Painful feelings that are ignored will gain
strength. (1)
• “No man means all he says, and yet very
few say all they mean, for words are
slippery and thought is viscous.”
• Henry B. Adams
Summary:
• What is SPV?
• The greater the need to communicate our feelings, the
harder it is to do. Indeed, sharing our opinions and
emotions is risky business. We minimize the risk when we
move through the levels of communication incrementally.
That is, each conversation ought to begin with phatic
(superficial) communication and move through the levels
(however quickly seems appropriate) before moving to the
more intimate levels.
• Generally, we look for the other individual to reciprocate
at the same level of intensity. There is a social convention
to match levels. If the other initiates a conversation at the
evaluative level, we often feel compelled to respond in
kind. This is dangerous.
• Sharing our ideas and feelings is generally reserved for
those whom we trust. Trust is a function of confidence,
commitment, and time. We generally share our essence
with those we’ve known a long time.(2)