Transcript Levels of Communication

Communication
Standards and Objectives
Objectives:
Identify various types of communication styles.
Define the levels of communication
Complete Survey
• Thinker
• Feeler
• Sensor
• Intuitor
• Analyzing
• Relating to
understanding
experiences
• Experiencing based on
sensory perception
• Conceiving,
projecting, inducing
Modeled By our Parents
• Two Realms
• Use in Relationships
• Teach our own children
Types of Communication
• Verbal
• Includes speaking and listening (2 way)
• Non-Verbal
• Appearance, actions, body language, eye
contact, personal space
• Written (1way)
• Visual
Where does technology fit?
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Computers
Text
Email
Blog
Social media
Music
Lets Communicate
Statistical Information
• 45% Verbal
• 55% Non-verbal
• Kinesics approach- “Body Language”
• Posture, eye contact, hand movements,
head movements, body position in
conversations
Levels of Communication
1. Make a small circle with the groups
I have organized.
2. Everyone must participate.
3. No talking with other groups.
4. Everyone must listen with their
eyes.
5. When I call time you must stop
where you are.
6. If you have not finished the
previous round, finish it and then
move on.
Round #1
• Share an event
you have
experienced.
• Example:
Round #2
• Describe a
situation that has
proven to be a
good
INFLUENCE on
your life.
• Example:
Round #3
• Describe a quality
you already have
that will make you
a better parent or
spouse.
• Example:
Round #4
• You must give a
compliment to one
other person in
your group.
• Example
Levels of Communication
Discussion
Levels of Communication
• Event
Superficial
• Influence
Personal
• Personal Quality
Validating
• Compliment
Levels of Communication “SPV”
Superficial
Communication making up the
majority of our communication.
Talking about the weather,
Personal
home, school, food, etc.
Communication involving
opening up and talking about
feelings, beliefs and opinions
that mean something to you.
Validating
Communication reinforcing
people’s feelings about
themselves.
Levels of Communication Questions
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Can a relationship remain stable for an extended period of
time if they communicate in a superficial state? Why?
Which levels of communication must a relationship strive
for in order to grow? Why?
Which was more difficult to share in group? Events,
Influences, Personal qualities, Compliments. Why?
What are some reactions that occurred in your group?
Explain why these occurred.
Why is it more difficult to share personal qualities and
compliments.
Why would you communicate superficially?
“You can tell more about a person by what he
says about others than you can by what
others say about him.”
--Leo Aikman
Video clips
• ..\..\..\..\Videos and guides\So you're telling me there's a
chance.mp4
• ..\..\..\..\Videos and guides\Sam is Sleepless in Seattle Sleepless in Seattle (1_8) Movie CLIP (1993) HD.mp4
• ..\..\..\..\Videos and guides\The Goonies (2_5) Movie CLIP
- Chunk Spills His Guts (1985) HD.mp4
• ..\..\..\..\Videos and guides\Twister (3_5) Movie CLIP Obsessed (1996) HD.mp4
• ..\..\..\..\Videos and guides\Hitch (2005) - Boat Scene.mp4
Video Clips
• Goonies
• Dumb and Dumber
• Twister
•Validating
• Hitch
• Sleepless in Seattle
•Validating
•Superficial
•Superficial into
Personal
•Superficial to
Personal
1. What kind of communication makes up
majority of our conversations?
2. What kind of communication makes a
relationships stronger?
3. What is validating Communication?
Reasons for keeping Communication
Superficial:
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I may be hurt.
I don’t want to hurt their feelings.
They will misinterpret what I say.
They won’t be receptive
It will put our relationship at risk.
I will be out on a limb and won’t be
supported.
http://www.mnadr.state.mn.us/workplace/pdf/Keepcomm.pdf
Why is it hard to share personal
qualities and compliments
• Risk?
• You were sharing something that means
something to you
• Someone could betray you
Ponder This
• No relationship can remain stable for an
extended period of time.
• Relationships are either getting better or
going stale (husband/wife, friend,
parent/child)
• Relationships are worth the RISK!!
The Generation Gap
• Occurs when the parent and child
communicate on a superficial level
Couples that live together, but share ZERO
love for interests, eachother, life, only
communicate superficially.
What Validation Is
• To validate someone's feelings is first to
accept someone's feelings. Next, it is to
understand them, and finally it is to nurture
them.
Basic Steps to Validation
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Acknowledging the other person's feelings
Identifying the feelings
Offering to listen
Helping them label the feelings
Being there for them; remaining present physically
and emotionally
• Feeling patient
• Feeling accepting and non-judgmental
Example of Validating
• I hear you.
That hurts
That's not good
• Wow, that's a lot to deal with
I would feel the same way.
(I would be sad/hurt/angry/jealous, etc. too)
• That is sad.
That sounds discouraging.
That sounds like it would really hurt
That must really hurt.
• I know just what you mean.
I would feel the same way.
I can understand how you feel.
It sounds like you are really feeling ____.
It sounds like is really important to you.
Painful feelings that are expressed,
acknowledged and validated by a trusted
listener will diminish.
Painful feelings that are ignored will gain
strength. (1)
• “No man means all he says, and yet very
few say all they mean, for words are
slippery and thought is viscous.”
• Henry B. Adams
Activity
Communication Styles
“Conversation is the art of telling
people a little less than they want to
know.”
Personal Assessment
Communication
• Complete the assessment handout.
• Determine which style of
communication you prefer.
Communication Styles
A. --Touch
Hugging, holding hands, physically close
B. --Verbal
Sharing one’s feelings, listening, heartto-heart talks, caring words
C. --Task
Achievement, accomplishments, hard
work, status, things
You should remember:
1. A person’s primary orientation is determined
by the highest score on the quiz.
2. The secondary orientation is determined by the
second highest score on the quiz.
3. Some people will have scores that are very
close or may use a different communication
under different circumstances.
It is important that you understand the following
terms:
Communication --- the way one sends and
receives messages of acceptance, affection,
and appreciation.
It is important that you understand the
following terms:
Communication --- the way one sends and
receives messages of acceptance,
affection, and appreciation.
Where do our communication styles come
from?
It comes from a reflection of or
reaction to your home life.
If your mother is task-oriented person and
you are also a task-oriented person you
reflect your home language. If, on the
other hand, your mother is task-oriented
and you are touch-oriented, you are
reacting to your home language.
• One is not better or worse, but it is important to
recognize that you do or do not speak the same
home language as those around you.
• Most people have learned their home language –
so it can be changed.
• However, change is not what is needed,
understanding is.
How does a Touch-Oriented, Verbal-Oriented, &
a Task-Oriented Person respond to the following
situations?
1. A child comes home with good grades
2. A co-worker gets a promotion or a raise.
3. A close friend slipped on the ice and broke
their leg.
4. A sibling just broke up with their boy/girl
friend.
5. Their grandparents 50th anniversary is
coming up.
Show “He Says, She Says!” Video
Golden Rule with a Twist
Do unto others as they would have you do to
them, not as you would have them do to you.
Speak to your partner, friend, family member
in whatever communication style he/she
speaks.
METHODS OF DECODING
OTHER’S COMMUICATION
STYLES:
1. Ask him/her to take the quiz
2. Recognize how he/she reacts and shows
love to others.
3. Observe his/her reactions when a
compliment, hug, or gift is given. Which
do you think means the most?
It is important to
know that in a crisis,
many people move to
a different
communication style,
just to combat the
crisis, and then move
back to their original
style when the crisis
has passed.
Watch for signs of a
different
communication style
when stressed or
crisis occurs.
How To Respond in
Someone’s Language
GOLDEN RULE: WITH A
TWIST
Do unto others as they would have
your do to them, not as you would
have them do to you…
SPEAK to your (friend, partner,
boss, teacher, sister, brother,
parent) in whatever communication
style and feel a need to be spoken to
in that style
Summary
• The greatest human emotional need is
ACCEPTANCE. This is especially true
in a marriage. The question “Do you love
me?” translates to “Do you accept me?
In spite of all my fears and faults will you
stay with me? If I am totally revealed to
you, all my good and bad, can I trust you
to love me and care for me? By using the
love language you can learn to
communicate this complete kind of
acceptance to your loved ones.