Transcript Slide 1
Levels of Communication in our Daily Lives “SPV” Standards and Objectives Standard: ARR 2.0 - ARFL 4.00 Students will identify effective communication in interpersonal relationships. Objectives: Identify various types of communication styles. Define the levels of communication Levels of Communication • Event Superficial • Influence Personal • Personal Quality Validating • Compliment Levels of Communication “SPV” Superficial Communication making up the majority of our communication. Talking about the weather, Personal home, school, food, etc. Communication involving opening up and talking about feelings, beliefs and opinions that mean something to you. Validating Communication reinforcing people’s feelings about themselves. Levels of Communication Questions 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Can a relationship remain stable for an extended period of time if they communicate in a superficial state? Why? Which levels of communication must a relationship strive for in order to grow? Why? Which was more difficult to share in group? Events, Influences, Personal qualities, Compliments. Why? What are some reactions that occurred in your group? Explain why these occurred. Why is it more difficult to share personal qualities and compliments. Why would you communicate superficially? “You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.” --Leo Aikman Video Clips • Goonies • Say Anything • Singles •Validating • Reality Bytes • Sleepless in Seattle •Superficial •Superficial •Superficial into Personal ( Proximity closer) •Superficial to Personal 1. What kind of communication makes up majority of our conversations? 2. What kind of communication makes a relationships stronger? 3. What is validating Communication? Reasons for keeping Communication Superficial: • • • • • • I may be hurt. I don’t want to hurt their feelings. They will misinterpret what I say. They won’t be receptive It will put our relationship at risk. I will be out on a limb and won’t be supported. http://www.mnadr.state.mn.us/workplace/pdf/Keepcomm.pdf What Validation Is • To validate someone's feelings is first to accept someone's feelings. Next, it is to understand them, and finally it is to nurture them. Basic Steps to Validation • • • • • Acknowledging the other person's feelings Identifying the feelings Offering to listen Helping them label the feelings Being there for them; remaining present physically and emotionally • Feeling patient • Feeling accepting and non-judgmental Example of Validating • I hear you. That hurts That's not good • Wow, that's a lot to deal with I would feel the same way. (I would be sad/hurt/angry/jealous, etc. too) • That is sad. That sounds discouraging. That sounds like it would really hurt That must really hurt. • I know just what you mean. I would feel the same way. I can understand how you feel. It sounds like you are really feeling ____. It sounds like is really important to you. Painful feelings that are expressed, acknowledged and validated by a trusted listener will diminish. Painful feelings that are ignored will gain strength. (1) • “No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.” • Henry B. Adams Summary: • What is SPV? • The greater the need to communicate our feelings, the harder it is to do. Indeed, sharing our opinions and emotions is risky business. We minimize the risk when we move through the levels of communication incrementally. That is, each conversation ought to begin with phatic (superficial) communication and move through the levels (however quickly seems appropriate) before moving to the more intimate levels. • Generally, we look for the other individual to reciprocate at the same level of intensity. There is a social convention to match levels. If the other initiates a conversation at the evaluative level, we often feel compelled to respond in kind. This is dangerous. • Sharing our ideas and feelings is generally reserved for those whom we trust. Trust is a function of confidence, commitment, and time. We generally share our essence with those we’ve known a long time.(2)