Transcript Module Nine: Emotional Communication

Module Nine: Emotional
Communication (Conversation)
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Talk to Your Neighbour
 Discuss how you think you will do
on the next test in this class – and
why you think you’ll get the mark
you think you will
 Complete Test Yourself in your EZ
Guide
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Body, Mind, and Culture in
Emotions
Emotions involve at least three parts:
• Body – Most obvious reactions; blushing,
sweating palms, smiling.
• Mind – Involves evaluations and interpretations
 Evaluations of what happens have greater
influence than what actually happens
• Culture – Framework both for interpreting
emotions and expressing emotions; saving face,
revealing true feelings.
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Principles of Emotional
Conversation
Emotions are
• always important.
• not the same as expressions.
• communicated verbally and
nonverbally.
• good and bad.
• contagious.
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Obstacles in Communicating
Emotions
• Social rules and customs
Training early in life when boys are taught not
to cry and girls are encouraged to express
emotions openly
• Fear of exposing weakness
Being vulnerable for attack and may lead to
conflict
• Inadequate interpersonal skills
Many people cannot effectively communicate
their feelings.
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Guidelines for Communicating
Emotions
Intrapersonal Tasks
• Understand your emotions.
• Decide if you wish to express your feelings.
• Assess your communication options.
Tasks for Expression
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Describe your feelings.
Identify the reasons for your feelings.
Anchor your feelings to the present.
Own your own feelings.
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Anger Communication
 Get ready to communicate calmly and logically.
 Examine your communication options.
 Consider the advantages of delaying the
expression of anger.
 Remember that different cultures have different
norms for what is and what is not appropriate to
display.
 Apply the relevant skills of interpersonal
communication.
 Recall the irreversibility of communication.
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 Opening: “Hi! What’s going on?”
 Feedforward: “I hate to bother you, but...”
 Business: “I’ve just found a new way to
import a file.”
 Feedback: “So, you may want to try it.”
 Closing: “Got to go...”
The Conversation Process:
Conversation Methods
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Step One: Opening

Can tell others that you’re accessible

Can reveal important information about
the relationship between yourself and
the other person

Helps maintain the relationship

Is generally consistent in tone with the
main part of the conversation
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Step Two: Feedforward
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Open the channels of communication
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Preview future messages
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Altercast – places receiver in specific role
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Disclaimer – ensures your message is
understood and will not reflect negatively on
you
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Step Three: Business
 Exchange of speaker and listener roles
 Goal-directed
 Cultural taboos
 Learn, relate, influence, play, help – the
purpose of the conversation
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Step Four: Feedback
 Positive or negative
 Person focused or message focused
 Immediate or delayed
 Low monitored (spontaneous, honest)
or high monitored (constructed for
specific purpose)
 Supportive or critical
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Step Five: Closing
 Signals the end of access
 May signal some degree of
supportiveness
 May summarize the interaction
 May be verbal, nonverbal, or a
combination of both
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How to Improve Conversations
• Use openings that are sensitive
• Use openers that acknowledge the listener
• Avoid using overly long feed forwards
• Use feed forward before a shocking message
• Do business with the normally expected greetings
• Give feedback
• Use an appropriate closing
• Give clear closure
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Opening a Conversation:
Make references to:
 Self
 Others
 Relationship
 Context
Two general rules:
1. Be positive
2. Disclose appropriately
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Agree that you will cooperate in trying to understand
each other
Four conversational rules:
• Quantity – only use info needed, omit the rest
• Quality – be truthful
• Relation – talk about what’s relevant to conversation
• Manner – use terms listener will understand; omit or
clarify terms you think they won’t understand
The Principle of
Cooperation
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Conversational Rules and Culture
 Preserve peaceful relationships with others (Japan)
 Avoid taking credit for some accomplishment, or
make less of some ability or talent you have (China)
 Be polite (universal)
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Closing Conversations

Leave-taking cues
 Reflect back on the conversation and briefly
summarize it
 State the desire to end the conversation directly
 Refer to future interaction
 Ask for closure
 Say that you enjoyed the interaction
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General Conversational
Skills
 Mindfulness – aware of your reasons; be open
 Flexibility – vary messages – for different
situations
 Cultural sensitivity – acknowledge cultural
differences
 Metacommunication – verbal/nonverbal
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Skills for Conversational
Effectiveness
 Openness: self disclose, listen, react honestly
 Empathy: feel what they feel
 Positiveness
 Immediacy: convey a sense of interest and attention, a
linking with the other person
 Interaction management: satisfying to both parties
 Expressiveness: vocals, gestures, cultures, feedback
 Other-orientation: adapt to the other person
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Computer Conversation
 Watch your spelling
 Remember that what you write may become
public
 Follow the rules of netiquette
 Clean up your writing
 Be explicit in your good intentions
 Follow the general rules for interpersonal
communication
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 Complete Check Your Ability in your
EZ Guide
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Using Conversation Stack:
 Have a conversation
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 Ensure you have read Part II in “How To
Win…”
 Complete Journals 2
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