Transcript Seek first to understand, Then to be understood

HABIT 5:
Seek first to understand,
Then to be understood
By Sonya Breaux
Principles of empathic
communication (Look)
1. The first principle for interpersonal relations
is rush and fixing up with good advice.
2. The first principle for interpersonal relations
is seek to understand then to be understood.
(P.237-238)
Communication and
character
1. There are 5 ways of communication.
2. There are 4 ways of communication.
1. If you want to interact with me you need to
set your example and actual conduct.
2. If you want to interact with me you need to
understand me without prejudgment.
(P.238)
LISTEN!
1. Empathic listening “Seek first to understand”
2. The empathic listening is active.
1. Reflective listening is mimicking what other
person says.
2. Reflective listening is just reading the body
language.
(P.241)
LISTEN! Let me see…
Let me see if I understand what your position is…
and your concerns are about…and you want my
recommendations?
When you feel you actually understand them,
then say “we will see different proposals, let’s
analyze them together, and we will see if it has
relevance or not” (Put yourself in others’ shoes)
(P.242)
DANGER!
If you open yourself up to be influenced you will
be vulnerable.
In order to influence, you need to be influenced.
Diagnose before you
prescribe (Touch)
• If you do not have
confidence in your
diagnosis you won’t have
confidence in the
prescription. (P.244)
• Produce a product with
out taking into account
people’s needs, buying
habits, or motivation.
In order to influence, you
need to be influenced.
4 authobiographical
responses
1.
2.
3.
4.
Evaluate
Probe
Give advice
Interpret
1. Seek to understand
2. Become logical
3. Become emotional
4. Seek for welfare of the individual
(P.252-253)
How we can come up with a
WiN/WiN situation?
1. UNDERSTAND THE
SITUATION: Take notes, sit on
the same side but leave
yourself/experiences aside.
2. BECOME LOGICAL: go back
to empathic/ask questions
3. BECOME EMOTIONAL: cover
ears/watch emotion.
4. SEEK THE WELFARE OF THE
INDIVIDUAL: Describe the
point of view and their
proponents, let the person
listen to you, and let them find
the solution at their own pace
and time.
(P.258-259/252-253)