Transcript Empathy – Retreat Talk

EMPATHY
They were like sheep without a shepherd…
Empathy in as Gift of the Spirit
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Both Testaments are filled with words of love,
compassion, pity, mercy, care and kindness.
It is an integral part of spirituality and living in
God.
Love is a supernatural gift from God rather than the
product of human efforts. It is the highest spiritual
gift (I Corinthians 13:13), and an unmistakable
mark of a spirit-filled life (Galatians 5:22). It is
God’s love in our hearts (Romans 5:5) that enables
us to love God and love others.
…It is being like Christ
Compassion comes from imitation of Christ.
“When he saw the crowds, he had
compassion on them, because they were
harassed and helpless, like sheep without a
shepherd” (Matthews 9:36).
 Jesus said: “I am the good shepherd. The
good shepherd lays down his life for the
sheep” (John 10:11).
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Go and do likewise…
Compassion is based on empathy. Self-love
provides the criterion for loving others:
“Love your neighbor as yourself”
(Matthew19:19). This connectivity is more
clearly expressed in the golden rule:
 …“In everything, do to others what you
would have them do to you, for this sums up
the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12).
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Christ of the Gospel the Source of our spirit
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…Predilection for the little ones and the poor…
…Preoccupation of the Good Shepherd who wins
hearts by gentleness and self-giving… (art. 11)
For you I work…For you I live…
Special gift of God:
Predilection for the
young.
 Love for youth, as
expression of pastoral
charity, which gives
meaning to our whole
life. (art. 14)
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Spirit governed by the heart…
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Salesian is open and cordial,
ready to make the first
approach and to welcome
others with unfailing kindliness,
respect and patience.
To love as a father, brother and
a friend… (# 15)
Relationships not governed by
rules but by faith and the
promptings of the heart. (# 16)
I am at home in your midst…
Giving of oneself…
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“genuine caring”
“feeling someone’s pain”
“perspective taking”
“truly understanding something from the
other person’s point of view”
Empathy is the most radical of human
emotions.
– Gloria Steinem
Feeling for another…
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Empathy is the
capacity to think
and feel oneself
into the inner life
of another person.
- Heinz Kohut
Getting into another’s
situation
Empathy is the ability to
identify and understand
another’s situation, feelings and motives.
 It’s our capacity to recognize the concerns
other people have. Empathy means: “putting
yourself in the other person’s shoes” or
“seeing things through someone else’s eyes”.
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Preventive System & Empathy
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It is spiritual and educational
experience
It is a spontaneous expression of love
inspired by the love of God who
provides… who is present… and who
saves.
It permeates our love for God, dictates
our manner of living in community.
It is exercise of charity that knows how
to make one loved.
Listening is Giving…
Listen – truly listen to people. Listen with your
ears, eyes and heart. Pay attention to others’
hidden emotions behind what they are saying to
you, and to the context.
 Don’t interrupt people. Don’t dismiss their
concerns offhand. Allow people their moment.
 Tune in to non-verbal communication. This is the
way that people often communicate what they
think or feel.
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Empathy is communicating feelings
Practice the “93% rule”. When communicating
about feelings and attitudes, words – the things
we say – account for only 7% of the total
message that people receive.
 Use people’s name. It is reaching the heart.
 Be fully present when you are with people. Put
yourself in their shoes.
 Smile at people.
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Show you care…
Encourage the youth, particularly the quiet ones.
It builds people’s confidence.
 Give genuine recognition and praise. When you
give praise, spend a little effort to make your
genuine words memorable.
 Take a personal interest in people. Show young
that you care, and genuine curiosity about their
lives. Ask them questions about their hobbies,
their challenges, their families, their aspirations.
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Empathy satisfies the Giver and
Receiver
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The great gift of
human beings is that
we have the power
of empathy.
–Meryl Streep
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True contentment
comes with empathy.
–Tim Finn
Reasons of the
heart
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Some people think only
intellect counts: knowing
how to solve problems,
knowing how to get by,
knowing how to identify an advantage and
seize it. But the functions of intellect are
insufficient without courage, love, friendship,
compassion and empathy.
–Dean Koontz
Good Shepherd: Our Model