Transcript A Narrative Approach to Style

A Narrative Approach
to Style
Adapted from Joseph Williams’s
Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity
and Grace
The cause of our educational
system’s failure at teaching
basic skills to children is
not understanding the
influence of their cultural
background on learning.
Once upon a time as a walk
through the woods was taking
place on the part of Little
Red Riding Hood, the Wolf’s
jump out from behind a tree
occurred, causing fright in
Little Red Riding Hood.
Once upon a time as a walk
through the woods was taking
place on the part of Little
Red Riding Hood, the Wolf’s
jump out from behind a tree
occurred, causing fright in
Little Red Riding Hood.
Diagnosis:
Subject ≠ Character
Verb ≠ Action
Prescription:
1. Look for
character/subjects and
action/verbs in first seven
or eight words.
2. Look at every subject.
3. Look for actions hiding
in nouns.
4. Rewrite.
1a. Some have argued that carbon dioxide
in the atmosphere will almost certainly
elevate global temperature.
1b. There has been speculation by
educators as to the positive effect of
a good family environment on
educational achievement.
1a. Some have argued that carbon dioxide
in the atmosphere will almost certainly
elevate global temperature.
1b. There has been speculation by
educators as to the positive effect of
a good family environment on
educational achievement.
Educators have speculated that a good
family environment positively affects
educational achievement.
2a. Smoking during pregnancy may lead to
fetal injury.
2b. When we write concisely, readers
understand more easily.
2a. Smoking during pregnancy may lead to
fetal injury.
2b. When we write concisely, readers
understand more easily.
If you smoke when you’re pregnant, you may
injure your fetus.