Transcript Lesson Three Clarity: Actions

Lesson Three
Clarity: Actions
From Joseph Williams’
Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace
(2000)
CHARACTERS & ACTIONS


Once upon a time, there was Little Red
Riding Hood, Grandma, the Woodsman, and
the Wolf. The end.
Once upon a time, as a walk through the
woods was taking place, a jump out from
behind a tree occurred, causing a fright.
CHARACTERS & ACTION
(better…sort of)

Once upon a time, as a walk through the
woods was taking place on the part of Little
Red Riding Hood, the Wolf’s jump out from
behind a tree occurred, causing fright in Little
Red Riding Hood.
CHARACTERS & ACTION
(way better)
Once upon a time, Little Red Riding Hood
was
was walking through the woods, when the
wolf
wolf jumped out from behind a tree and
frightened
frightened her.
CHARACTERS & ACTIONS
Why do we like that one better?
 The characters are subjects of verbs
 The characters’ actions are verbs.
Once upon a time as a walk (action/noun) though
the woods was taking (empty verb) place on the
part of Little Red Riding Hood, the Wolf’s
jump (action/noun) out from behind a tree
occurred (empty verb) causing fright (action/noun) in
Little Red Riding Hood.
OR
Once upon a time, Little Red Riding Hood
was walking (action/verb) through the woods,
when the Wolf jumped (action/verb) out from
behind a tree and frightened (action/verb) her.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Choose a paragraph of your own writing.
Identify the subjects and verbs in each
sentence.
Are they near each other? How could you
revise them?
Look at the verbs. Are the verbs the
subjects’ actions?
Our
Our lack
lack (noun/action)
(noun/action) of
of data
data prevented
prevented (verb)
(verb)
evaluation
evaluation (noun/action)
(noun/action) of
ofstate
stateaction
actioninin
targeting (noun/action)
(noun/action) funds
fundstotoareas
areasininneed
need
(noun/action)
(noun/action) of
ofassistance
assistance(noun/action)
(noun/action)
..
Because we lacked (verb/action) data, we could
not evaluate (verb/action) whether the state had
targeted (verb/action) funds to areas that needed
(verb/action) assistance (noun/action).
Despite
Despite her
her knowledge
knowledge of the need by cities
for
for more
more money,
money, her
her veto
veto of a bigger
education budget aimed at giving
encouragement
encouragement to cities for an increase in
local
local taxes.
taxes.
Although the governor knew that the cities
needed more money for schools, she vetoed
a bigger education budget to encourage the
cities to increase their local taxes.
NOMINALIZATION
Nominalization occurs by turning a verb or an adjective
into a noun.
Verb
Nominalization
Adjective
Nominalization
discover
resist
react
flies
discovery
resistance
reaction
flying
careless
carelessness
differentdifference
proficient
proficiency
We nominalize a verb or adjective when we turn it
into a noun.
NOMINALIZATION CLUES

Look for words with the following endings:





-ing
-tion
-ment
-ence or -ance
-ness
NOMINALIZATION PRACTICE
analysis
believe
attempt
conclusion
emphasize
evaluate
suggest
approach
comparison
define
discuss
explanation
expression
failure
acquisition
appeal
appear
description
decrease
improve
increase
accuracy
careful
clear
intelligence
important
precise
relevant
decide
explicit
NOMINALIZATION

How would you revise the following
sentences?
1.
The results are indicative that the data are
representative of the population.
2.
There is opposition among voters to nuclear
power plants near population centers.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Choose another paragraph of your text.
Highlight all the verbs or adjectives that
are nominalized.
Try revising a few sentences that have
nominalizations.
If you do not have any nominalizations,
great! But revise this:
The frequent use of nominalizations instead of
verbs results in the frustration of reader
expectations. Their expectation is of characters as
subjects and their actions as verbs. Increased
reader frustration results from dropping characters
from sentences altogether.