Transcript Academic writing i

FUNDAMENTALS OF WRITING
June 5, 2014
Writing Consultations
- Instead of an official make up class, everyone will
participate in a one-on-one writing consultation.
- Please check the website for the available time slots.
- Make sure you have prepared questions before coming to
the consultation.
Today
Improving writing clarity & style:
- Avoiding nominalization
- Academic style (revisited)
Nominalization
Noun forms of verbs.
i.e.,
illustrate  illustration
fail  failure
react  reaction
Nominalization
Turning a verb into a noun.
- We implemented the plan successfully
- The implementation of the plan was successful.
Try to avoid this as much as possible.
Nominalization
The detective conducted an investigation of the crime.
The hope of the student is to earn good grades.
There was flooding in the building by heavy rains.
A ski trip should be planned.
Nominalization
Problems created by nominalization:
- Passive voice
- Unnecessary words
- loss of agent
- use of “be” verbs as main verb
- loss of clarity.
First: Review - Nominalization
Nominalization can make writing very confusing:
An expansion in the utilization of pencils was the cause of
the reduction in the utilization of red ink. (19 words).
An expansion in the utilization of pencils was the cause of
the reduction in the utilization of red ink. (19 words).
 People are using less ink because they are using more
pencils. (12 words),
First: Review - Nominalization
Nominalization can make writing very confusing:
The analysis process that was the requirement of the
experimentation protocol is an indication of researchers’
lack of ability in data synthesis. (22 words)
The analysis process that was the requirement of the
experimentation protocol is an indication of researchers’
lack of ability in data synthesis. (22 words)
 The way the researchers analyzed the data indicates
they do not know how to synthesize data. (16 words)
Nominalization
Noun forms of verbs.
Problems with nominalization:
- Make sentences less concise (wordy).
- Increase noun-to-verb ratio.
- Make sentences more difficult to understand.
- Can make reading tedious.
Revising Nominalization
Look for:
1. Verbs turned into nouns (i.e., investigate  investigation)
2. The use of “to be” verbs (am, is, are, was, were) as a main
verb.
3. The use of passive voice.
4. A missing agent.
Revising Nominalization
1. Verbs turned into nouns (i.e., investigate  investigation)
- Locate verbs functioning as nouns and change them to
action words.
i.e.,
The detective conducted an investigation of the crime.
 The detective investigated the crime.
Revising Nominalization
2. The use of “to be” verbs (am, is, are, was, were) as a
main verb.
Replace simple “to be” verbs with more “action-oriented” verbs.
i.e.,
The hope of the student is to earn good grades.
 The student hopes to earn good grades.
Revising Nominalization
3. The use of passive voice.
- Switch to active voice.
i.e.,
There was flooding in the building by heavy rains.
 Heavy rains flooded the building.
Revising Nominalization
4. A missing agent.
Provide an agent by indicating who or what is doing the action
in the sentence.
i.e.,
A ski trip should be planned.
 Jim should plan our ski trip.
Revising Nominalization
1. The budget cuts for the Writing Center were the topic of
our debate.
2. The intention of the jury is to reach a decision.
3. There is a need for reinforcement of this law.
4. We did a study of the progression of lung cancer.
Revising Nominalization
5. The delay of the flight was caused by the storm.
6. There was scorching of vegetation by the 2007 fires in
Morgan Hill.
7. Our presentation was about a new regulation.
8. It was expected that our collection of data would be
quick.
Revising Nominalization
9. The coroner did an examination of the body.
10. A demand must exist for clean energy
First: Review - Nominalization
Noun forms of verbs.
i.e.,
The commencement of the ceremony will be at noon.
With an action verb:
The ceremony will commence at noon.
 The ceremony commences at noon.
Revising Nominalization
1. The budget cuts for the Writing Center were the topic of our
debate.
 We debated the budget cuts for the Writing Center.
2. The intention of the jury is to reach a decision.
 The jury intends to reach a decision.
3. There is a need for reinforcement of this law.
 The city government must reinforce this law.
This law needs to be reinforced.
4. We did a study of the progression of lung cancer.
 We studied how lung cancer progresses
Revising Nominalization
5. The delay of the flight was caused by the storm.
 The storm delayed the flight.
6. There was scorching of vegetation by the 2007 fires in
Morgan Hill
 The 2007 fires in Morgan Hill scorched vegetation.
7. Our presentation was about a new regulation.
 We presented a new regulation.
8. It was expected that our collection of data would be
quick.
 We expected to collect data quickly.
Revising Nominalization
9. The coroner did an examination of the body.
 The coroner examined the body.
10. A demand must exist for clean energy.
 We must demand clean energy.
Academic Writing
Academic writing:
- precise
- formal or semi-formal
- objective
Example:
A lot of people think that the weather is getting worse.
They say that this has been going on for quite a long time.
I think that they are quite right. Research has shown that we
now get storms etc all the time.
Academic Writing
Academic writing:
- Aim is to present information as clearly
and accurately as possible.
Example:
A lot of people think that the weather is getting worse.
They say that this has been going on for quite a long time.
I think that they are quite right. Research has shown that we
now get storms etc all the time.
Academic Writing
Passage
Problem
A lot of people think…
Imprecise – how many is ‘a lot’?
…the weather…
Imprecise – ‘weather’ is a short term
concept
…getting worse…
Informal
They say…
Imprecise pronoun
…going on…
Informal phrasal verb
…quite a long time.
Imprecise – how long is this?
I think…
Informal - personal pronoun
Research…
Vague – whose research?
…we now get…
Informal
…storms, etc…
vague
…all the time.
Overgeneralized
Academic Writing
A lot of people think that the weather is getting worse.
They say that this has been going on for quite a long time.
I think that they are quite right. Research has shown that
we now get storms etc all the time.
Re-written:
Experts widely believe that the climate is deteriorating.
Climatologists claim that this process has been continuing
for nearly 100 years. McKinley (1997) appears to support
this belief, demonstrating a 55% increase in the frequency
of severe winter gales since 1905.
Tips for Academic Style
1. Avoid idioms or colloquial vocabulary.
i.e., “dad”, “guy”.
Instead, use standard English
 “father”, “man”
Tips for Academic Style
2. Be as precise as possible when discussing facts or figures.
Avoid phrases such as “about a hundred years ago”
or “thousands of years ago”
If you must estimate numbers, use “approximately” not “about”
 “approximately one hundred years ago…”
Tips for Academic Style
3. Avoid adverbs that show your personal attitude/opinion.
i.e., “luckily”, “thankfully”, “happily”, “regrettably”
Tips for Academic Style
4. Do not use contractions.
Don’t  do not
Can’t  cannot
Note: Possessives are not contractions.
i.e., The school’s projector.
Tips for Academic Style
5. Avoid these words:
“like” for introducing examples.
Alternative: “such as, …”
“for instance, …”
“thing” and its combinations (i.e., “something” “nothing”)
Alternative: “factor” “issue” “aspect”
Tips for Academic Style
5. Avoid these words:
“lots of”
Alternative: “a significant number” “a considerable number”
“a considerable amount”
“little/big”
Alternative: “small” “large”
Tips for Academic Style
5. Avoid these words:
“get” phrases, such as “get better” “get worse”.
Alternative: “improve”
“deteriorate”
“good/bad” these are too simplistic
Alternative: “positive/negative”
i.e., The changes had several positive aspects.
Tips for Academic Style
6. When writing lists, avoid “etc.” “and so on”.
Instead, insert “and” before the final item in the list.
i.e,
Finding employment requires motivation, strong
work ethic, and a positive attitude.
Tips for Academic Style
7. Avoid two-word verbs (phrasal verbs) IF there is a
suitable synonym.
i.e.,
“go on”,
“bring up”.
 “continue”,
“raise”
Tips for Academic Style - Examples
Sadly, serious crime like murder is going up.
 Serious crime, such as murder, is increasing.
You can’t always trust the numbers in that report.
 The figures in that report are not reliable.
The second thing is that most kids in that district will
become criminals.
 The second factor is that the majority of children in that
district may become criminals.
Academic Writing Style – further examples
These examples are taken from: Uni Learning
- http://unilearning.uow.edu.au
Specific Words
Academic Writing Style – further examples
Phrasal verbs
Academic Writing Style – further examples
Specific vocabulary in descriptions
Avoiding “really”, “very”