Transcript Before Your Visit - The Prostate Net

Annual Prostate Cancer Forum
October 27, 2012 • NYU Kimmel Center • New York, NY
Darryl Mitteldorf, LCSW
Executive Director
Malecare Cancer Support
[email protected]
Annual Prostate Cancer Forum
October 27, 2012 • NYU Kimmel Center • New York, NY
Improving Your Relationship
With Your Doctor
How to get the answers you need to
get the outcome you want
www.malecare.org
• Preparing yourself
• Preparing for your doctor visit
• Strategies to use during your visit
Before Your Visit
• Know these essential truths
– Doctors value clear feedback and symptom reporting
• Patient feedback helps improve clinical practice
– Doctors want satisfied patients
• Good for referrals, reputation and professional gratification
– Satisfied patients feel listened to and informed
It’s in everyone’s interest that all of your
questions and concerns are answered
Before Your Visit
Know yourself, so you can help your doctor know
what you want from treatment.
•Who are you today, and who do you want to be?
– Adventurer, socially active, energetic, career changer
•Fertility issues…desire for children
All patients should discuss sperm banking, both for
fertility concerns as well as for peace of mind
(no one knows what the future will hold)
Before Your Visit
Prepare a written one page person profile, in addition to your
medical history & family history
•Everything that you put into your mouth matters
– How do you cook your food? Grill, boil, fry
– What foods do you eat
– Medications, vitamins, caffeine, alcohol, recreational drugs
•Exposure matters
Describe your direct and secondary environment
• Exposure to chemicals, fertilizers
• Art s, crafts, age of pipes, well water, extremes in sounds and temperatures
• Agent Orange, multiple CT scans
•Race matters
– Describe the previous two generations of your racial heritage
Before Your Visit
Prostate Cancer Treatment Changes Sex
Write one or two paragraphs of what matters to
you, sexually:
•Vaginal insertive, anal insertive, anal receptive,
ejaculate play, urine play, scaring and body
image, style of masturbation
•Sexual partners, current and hoped for.
•Current erectile functioning.
Before Your Visit
Ignorance is not bliss.
•Create a list of questions. Big, small, crazy, off the wall.
– Now is the time to reduce doubt, anxiety and concerns by
asking everything that you could possibly be concerned
about.
– Google and Youtube your questions…the answers may be
available to you before your visit, and may even provoke
different questions.
– There are great lists of questions at www.malecare.org
During Your Visit
• Attending with a partner
– Partners remember things differently
– Partners present alternative perspective
– Partners may inhibit you from speaking about
“secrets” and cloistered concerns
– Partners may dominate time or intimindate
• Consider asking to speak with your doctor,
alone
During Your Visit
Entering the Consult
(common sense, but worth stating)
•Learn names of support staff. (What’s your name?)
•Say name of support staff. (“Thanks, ________”)
•Introduce yourself. “Hello Doctor X, I am Mr. Y.”
•Introduce whomever accompanies you by name and
their relationship to you.
•Mention who referred you to them, a friend, another
doctor, heard about them in a Malecare group.
•Make eye contact. move chair if you have to.
During Your Visit
Remembering what is said
•Voice recorder
“I am afraid that I may forget some of the
things that we may talk about, so, do you mind
if I turn on my voice recorder?”
•Record in secret if you are concerned that
recording may affect your visit
•Take notes on paper. Write what you think
your doctor just said
During Your Visit
Time with your Doctor
•Make “Rush” “Busy” “Lots of other Patients”
irrelevant concepts
•You are the boss.
– You pay for your doctor’s time, either through
insurance or directly
•Feel encouraged to say, “I know I might be taking
a lot of time, but I need to ask you just one(two,
three, etc) more questions so I can feel less anxious
(sleep better, feel more confident in my treatment,
etc)
During Your Visit
• Present your list of “before your visit” questions
either right away or just after your conversation
with your doctor starts to lag.
• Ask your partner if s/he can think of any other
questions or concerns or comments
• Ask your doctor, “Is there anything that we did
not yet talk about, that you think might be
important to consider?”
• Set up a day and time to telephone with any
follow-up concerns and questions
• Get copies of any and all tests, reports, etc.
After Your Visit
• Ask your partner what s/he just heard
• Email the voice recording to an online
transcription service (there are many
affordable services)
• Give your brain and your gut some time to
sautee and digest what you just heard
– Take a day or two (or more) of break time
– Do something enjoyable, relaxing, fun, unusual
www.malecare.org
MAKE A DECISION
•Almost everyone feels relieved once they have
declared a choice or made a decision about
treatment
ENJOY LIFE!
•Schedule your time to your needs, not your
doctors. (within reason)
•You are not a science experiment. You are
engaged in your health to enjoy life