Transcript Communication challenges for MOS

Communication:
More Challenging
than You Think
Bruce Nolan
Proactive Resolution and Education
Office of Equity, Diversity and Inclusion
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What we’ll cover today
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That’s not
what I
meant!
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Ice cream
How many matches?
Homemade
Milkshake
Summer
Party
Sundae
Brain freeze
Truck
Cold
Mr. Twisty
Lactose intolerant
Fattening
Dessert
Cone
Delicious
Strawberry
Party
Chocolate
Bad
Vanilla
Treat
Creamy
Cake
Neighbors
How many matches this time?
Good
Friends
Police
Don’t know them
Loud
New
Dog poop
Helpful
Children
Young
Weird
Police
Fences
Weird
What if we looked for matches to these?
Pride
Anger
Joy
Love
Communication reminders
 Words evoke personal connections to things,
relationships, emotions
 Words carry value: positive, negative or neutral
 Choosing words carefully does not ensure
understanding
 Test for meaning to ensure message is understood
Take-away: Meanings are in People
What is more common?
Why is it so hard
to communicate?
Communication in today’s IRS
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Staff meetings of the past
for most of IRS
The new normal
=
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Work is done in silos
Strong and
intentional
communication
Components of
communication
Oral
pitch, pace, tone, accent
Verbal
Language – words you use
Non-verbal
Facial expressions, eye contact
verbal
Verbal
oral
Your voice can change meaning of words . . .
Read each statement, emphasizing the highlighted
word.
I never said she took the money.
I never said she took the money.
I never said she took the money.
I never said she took the money.
I never said she took the money.
I never said she took the money.
I never said she took the money.
The role of context
Interpersonal communication occurs in the
context of:
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Culture – yours, mine, and the organization’s
Climate – the organization’s and society
Relationship history
Personal experience, beliefs and bias
Edward T. Hall, cultural
anthropologist
Culture is
communication and
communication is
culture.
Culture is the lens
through which you
view the world; it is the
mirror you use to
reflect and interpret
reality.
Without malicious intent,
misuderstandings can arise when
words or actions carry different
meanings when interpreted
through diverse lenses.
What is
organizational
culture?
Culture: shared
beliefs and values
that guide the
thinking and
behaviors in an
organization
 Defines what is “normal”
 How decisions are made
 “The way we do things
around here”
 How people act under
pressure
 How people treat and
view one another
Dr. Stella Ting-Toomey
Cognitive constraints: frames of
reference or world views
Behavior constraints: rules about
proper behavior which affect verbal
and nonverbal communication
Author of:
Understanding Intercultural
Communication
Communicating Across
Cultures
Managing Intercultural
Conflict
Emotional constraints: cultural
norms for displaying emotions.
Culture influences many behaviors
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How to say “hello” and “good-bye”
When to speak or remain silent
How to act when angry or upset
Where to focus your eyes when functioning as a source
or receiver
 How much to gesture during speech
 How close to stand to another
 How to display happiness or rage at another’s actions
Climate?
Let me tell
you what it’s
like around
here . . .
Goal of
communication
How “safe” is
the climate for
honest
communication?
From Vital Smarts, Crucial Conversation tool
Relationship history
Rapport vs.Report Talk
Rapport Talk
 Conversation is a way to
establish connections and
negotiate relationships.
 Emphasis is placed on
displaying similarities and
matching experiences.
 Prefer private, not public.
From Deborah Tannen’s research
Report Talk
 A means to preserve
independence and
negotiate and maintain
status in a hierarchical
social order
 Hold center stage, showing
knowledge and skill
 Speak to get and keep
attention
 Prefer public to private
From Deborah Tannen’s research
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Gender Diversity and Communication
Rapport Talk
Report Talk
Cooperative
Competitive
Focus on relationships
Focus on power and status
Ask
Tell
“Troubles” talk
Problem solving
In presentations, helps you Demonstrates subject
connect with the audience matter expertise
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So
what?
Characteristics of a Productive Team
Open
Communication
Collaboration
Goal Oriented
Appropriate
structure
Productive Team
Conflict
Management
Quality
Decisions
Role Clarity
Leadership
Process
How team
relates
Task
What is
done
Work is more than the job you do – it is also
about relationships
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Joseph Grenny, co-founder of VitalSmarts and author of
Crucial Conversations
“Research by VitalSmarts shows
that 95% of the workforce struggles
to confront colleagues and managers
about concerns and frustrations.”
 Look for common ground
 Seek to understand and
respect the perspectives
of others
 Engage in honest dialogue
 Be open to other views
Try to identify and consider the interests of others
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Start with the heart
Ask yourself what do you want long term:
 for yourself?
 for the other person?
 for the relationship?
Stay focused on what you ultimately want for the
relationship.
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Have the
courage to look at your
own biases to minimize
impact on behaviors,
opinions, and decisions
Adapted from Sondra Thiederman, Diversity and Inclusion Handbook
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Explain your
communication
boundaries and needs
Determine your own needs
Exercise your right to raise concerns
about issues or misunderstandings
Clearly describe what troubles you
Make a request for change, if
appropriate
Monitor your communication so you
aren’t seen as the aggressor
Be flexible to accept
new approaches and
ideas from people who
think differently from
you
Adapted from Sondra Thiederman, Diversity and Inclusion Handbook
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Have the strength to
tolerate moments of
discomfort and
confusion while
remaining open-minded
and clear headed
Adapted from Sondra Thiederman, Diversity and Inclusion Handbook
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Commit to
model respectful
and inclusive
communication
in all
settings and
circumstances
Adapted from Sondra Thiederman, Diversity and Inclusion Handbook
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Practice Self-Governance
Manage your
emotional reactions to
differences among people
and situations, so that
how you respond creates
constructive effects
rather than
self-defeating and
destructive results
Cherbosque, Gardenswartz, and Rowe
Our workplace is diverse, diversity is complex
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Communication Diversity and Conflict
The potential for conflict exists whenever two people live
or work together – it is a natural by-product of human
interaction.
Conflict can occur when the
people involved:
 Think differently
 Perceive things differently
 Have different goals or values
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What are your take-aways?
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