Transcript Interpersonal Effectiveness

Interpersonal Effectiveness
Arleta High School
2016-2017
What is Interpersonal Effectiveness?
• In DBT, Interpersonal Effectiveness refers to
the skills which help us to: Attend to
relationships. Balance priorities versus
demands. Balance the “wants” and “shoulds”.
Build a sense of mastery and self-respect.
How do I get what I want?
DESCRIBE
EXPRESS
ASSERT
REINFORCE
Be Mindful.
Appear Confident.
Negotiate.
Goals of
Interpersonal Effectiveness
Getting the “thing” I want:
• Determining if it is your legitimate right.
• Getting another to do something for you.
• Refusing an unwanted or unreasonable request.
• Resolving an interpersonal conflict.
• Getting your opinion or point of view taken seriously.
Source: http://www.bipolarsjuk.se/pdf/Handbook%20in%20DBT%20Group.pdf
How to I Get What You Want?
Communication is key to getting what you want.
In order to be successful, you need to know how
to effectively express yourself.
There are 3 types of communication styles:
1) Passive Communication
2) Assertive Communication
3) Aggressive Communication
Interpersonal Communication Styles
• Passive Communication Style: This style of
communication typically involves going along
with what someone wants and expressing little to
no opinion. This person may compliment others,
yet put themselves down.
• Assertive Commination Style: This style of
communication involves expressing how you feel
in a polite manner. This person shows confidence
and stands up for what they believe is right.
• Aggressive Communication Style: This person can
come across argumentative, hostile, rude, and
even intimidate others.
What Are Consequences of Being
Passive?
1) Someone who is passive will often give in to
what others say and/or do. They tend to not
get what they want as a result of lack of
communication. This can result in a low selfesteem as well as negative thoughts about
themselves.
Consequences of Being
Assertive?
There are many positive results of being
assertive. These include getting along
well with others which allows them to have
positive relationships with others. As a result of
being respectful of self and others they have a
high self-esteem which helps them be successful
academically, personally, and in the work force.
What Are the Consequences of Being
Aggressive?
Those who are aggressive often struggle with
having good relationships with others. This is
often due to the fact that they can intimidate
others which results in making enemies with
others. This person often is unhappy, angry and
resentful of others.
Communication Styles Video
Steps:
1. Go to www.youtube.com
2. Type in your LAUSD information: The first part of your
email address as well as you personal email password.
3. Once you are able to access YouTube cut and paste
the URL found below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68ciKK1afDQ
4. Click on the video that says “Appear Confident”.
RELATIONSHIP EFFECTIVENESS
Getting and Keeping a Good Relationship
• Acting in such a way that the other person will
like and respect you.
• Balancing immediate goals with the good of
the long–term relationship.
• Remembering why the relationship is
important to you now and in the future.
SELF-RESPECT EFFECTIVENESS
• Maintaining and Improving Self-Respect. Like
Yourself.
• Respect your own values and beliefs by acting
in a way that makes you feel moral.
• Behave in a way that makes you feel capable
and effective.
Post-It Activity
On your post-it write down one thing you have
thought negatively about yourself. For example,
I hate my hair, I will never be able to make the
soccer team, I am dumb and I will never
understand math class.
Let the Negative Thoughts Go
• Take the “I can’t” “I will never” “I hate” out of
your mind and every time you start to say that
you can’t do something stop yourself, write
that thought down, tear it up, and throw it in
the trash.
• Group Discussion: How did you feel when you
tore the paper?
• How can negative thoughts hold you back?
Handout
• Turn your handout over to the second page.
Answer the top portion of the handout
labeled “Self-Respect”.
• Answer questions #2-3
Pair-Share
In pairs, discuss what you wrote on your handout
for the following questions:
1) What does self-respect mean to you?
2) “To get respect, you have to give respect.”
Explain what this means.
3) “Treat others that way you’d like them to treat
you.” Explain what this means.
*Whole Group Share-Out
How Self-Esteem Relates to
Interpersonal Effectiveness
• In order to express ourselves we must be
confident, this means we need to be able to
show confidence in ourselves.
• Negotiating with others is a skill we must
learn, so that we do not allow others to make
choices for us. We must make our opinions,
feelings and thoughts known.
Self-Esteem Video
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3xibpxie
W0
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxsBxhw
zw58
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqfSpFhNYw
Discussion Questions
What did you see or feel while watching the video?
What lesson is the viewer supposed to learn?
Why is self-esteem so important?
What are some ways people can increase their selfesteem?
Handout
1. Take your handout and turn to the second page.
Find the section that says “Self-Esteem” and
complete the questions.
2. Discussion Whole Group
3. Now write down 4 things you like about
yourself at the bottom section of the handout.
Sources
•
http://www.bipolarsjuk.se/pdf/Handbook%20in%20DBT%20Group.pdf
•
http://texasprojectfirst.org/SelfAdvocacy.html
•
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/interpersonal_effectiveness1.html
•
http://www.mindfulnessmuse.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy/do-you-have-a-passiveor-aggressive-interpersonal-style
Images
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
http://coachesaid.com/Content/Mascots/ca-caahs29-letter-150.png
http://zaneblackman.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/14742682_s.jpg
www.quotesgram.com
https://asterchew.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/21141-strip-zoom.gif
http://w.mawebcenters.com/static/ecommerce/114/114695/media/catalog/prod
uct/cache/1/image/5e06319eda06f020e43594a9c230972d/a/s/assertivenesschart.jpg
https://www.google.com/search?q=passive+communication+interpersonal+effecti
veness+teenager&safe=strict&biw=1438&bih=655&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X
&ved=0ahUKEwjE4L4najNAhUEKGMKHfgpCicQ_AUIBigB&dpr=1#imgrc=uSbh3JS9UX2cOM%3A
https://ggevrey.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/assertiveness-dilbert.jpg
http://depositphotos.com/6755505/stock-photo-emoticon-aggressive.html
https://www.buzzfeed.com/kevintang/12-delightfully-passive-aggressivecomics?utm_term=.uoGW5EaYQ#.oslpA42mv
http://invisiblebread.com/2014/11/aggressive/