Constructive Vs Destructive
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Transcript Constructive Vs Destructive
“Sticks and stones will
break my bones, but
words will never hurt
me.”
Words, tone of voice
and body language.
Destructive Communication
Blaming
Interrupting
Endless Fighting
Character Assassination
Calling in Reinforcements
Withdrawal
Need to be Right
Blaming – Frequently blame each other
while trying to find out who is at “fault”,
who started the fight, etc.”
Examples – You are the one that’s not
listening. You did this…. You should of
…
Interrupting – Interrupts another person,
it is a sign that one idea is more
important than another.
Stop communication, Shows disregard
for other person’s ideas.
Endless Fighting – Arguments that
never end. Bring up the old issues that
have nothing to do with what’s
happening now.
Examples: Just like when you…
Character Assassination – Name
calling, belittling comments about
sensitive subjects, and insulting
remarks. (Sarcasm)
Examples: Destroys self-esteem, trust,
and communication.
Calling In Reinforcements – Involves
outsiders in your personal relationships
and quarrels.
Example: to save face
Withdrawal – Withdrawing from
communication avoiding conversation in
families communicates hurt, rejection,
neglect, indifference, &/or anger.
Example: “I don’t care” “fine” “I’ll do
it”
Need to be right – Some people refuse
to admit any need to always be right.
Compromise
is a win-win situation.
Constructive Communication
“I” Messages
Clarity
Timing
Asking Questions
Reflective Listening
Respect and Consideration
Avoiding Intense Anger
“I” Messages – State the feelings and
thoughts you are having at the time of
communication. Lets others know how
you feel without making people
defensive.
Examples “I feel frustrated when…
I am angry because you forgot…
Clarity – Meaning what you say and
then saying what you mean. Problem is
interpretation. (Sarcasm)
Example: I hope you had a great time at
the movie last night with all your other
friends!
Timing – Select a good time to do your
important communicating.
Examples: Asking for something when
parents walk in from work.
Asking Questions – People seldom say
what they really mean the first time.
Example: Why, What, Where, When,
Do you mean….
Reflective Listening – listener mirrors
back thoughts and/or feelings the
speaker is experiencing. Purpose is to
clarify.
Example: Are you saying? You seem to
be saying?
Respect and Consideration – One sure
way of ending good communication is
by being critical or judgmental. Respect
the other person’s point of view.
Avoiding Intense Anger – Sometimes
we become to emotional to
communicate effectively.
“I” Messages
State the feelings and thoughts
you are having at the time of
communication.
- “I feel … when … because
…”
- “I would like …”
Don’t blame the other person.
Shouting
Name Calling
Physical expression
Roadblocks
Destroys Self- Esteem and creates Fear.