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1 Chapter 3 Social Connections 2 Learning Outcomes Define screentime/edevices interference Define Sternberg’s Love Triangle Define what is nonverbal communication Identify differences between passive, assertive and aggressive 3 Healthy Personal Relationships Relationships are at the heart of human experience Family Community Classmates, teammates, colleagues Acquaintances, friends, intimate partners Relationships are fraught with difficulties Divorce Single-parent and blended families Living alone Electronic connections Screen Time Screen time" is a term used for activities done in front of a screen, such as watching TV, working on a computer, or playing video games. Most American children spend about 3 hours a day watching TV. Added together, all types of screen time can total 5 to 7 hours a day. How much is too much screentime for children? A. B. C. D. Under one hour Under two hours Under three hours No limit Current Guidelines Children under age 2 should have no screen time. Limit screen time to 1 to 2 hours a day for children over age 2. Despite what ads may say, videos that are aimed at very young children do not improve their development. 7 Social skills, EQ, and Edevices Electronic devices are extremely popular with young people these days. Many log countless hours on IPads, smartphones, and other devices. A new study by researchers at UCLA’s Children’s Digital Media Center (CDMC), Los Angeles has found that children’s social skills may be deteriorating as they spend large amounts of time using digital media. The study is currently available online in the journal Computers in Human Behavior and will be published in the October print edition of the journal. Do edevices interfere with communication at times? A. B. C. D. E. F. G. Strongly Agree Agree Somewhat Agree Neutral Somewhat Disagree Disagree Strongly Disagree 9 A Healthy Sense of Self Relationships begin with who you are as an individual and what you bring to the relationship Examples of important attributes are: A reasonably high self-esteem A capacity for empathy The ability both to be alone and to be with others 10 Sternberg’s Love Triangle Sternberg’s theory: love has three dimensions Intimacy, passion, and commitment Different combinations produce different kinds of love Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. 11 Sternberg’s Love Triangle Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. 12 Nonverbal Behavior and Metamessages Nonverbal communication includes facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, body position and movement, and spatial behavior Nonverbal and verbal communication cues make up the metamessage, or the unspoken message you send or get when communicating Non Verbal Physical appearance and dress Body movement and posture Facial expressions Gestures Eye contact Tone and volume Touch Silence Non Communication Non Verbal Communication Amy Cuddy’s Non Verbal Ted Talk Power Poses!!! https://youtu.be/zmR2A9TnIso http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/no nverbal-communication.htm Group A and B - Experiment Group A go outside Think of a fun story Light and entertaining You have three minutes and then come back in. Group B stay inside for further directions Reflection Now Group A go outside and Group B stay inside What works better and why? Use of Words. Inflection Matters What does it matter? Let’s reflect on the following Use of up-talk- inflection matters Sarcasm • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/19/things-youshould-never-say-at-work_n_2717990.html All these involve communication techniques or lack of using direct communication. Communication Skills Passive or Unassertive Assertive Aggressive Passive Aggressive Passive Not expressive feelings, needs or ideas Letting boundaries be crossed May not know what boundaries are Allowing others to select your rights Problems goes unsolved Give an example/scenario of what passive communication would look or sound like. What are the immediate or long-term outcomes? On a scale of 1 low to 10 high, how would you rate yourself as a passive communicator? Assertive Use of “I statements” Honest and open Direct and clear with needs Timely Give a scenario of assertive language to problem solve. What were the long and short term outcomes? How would you rate yourself as an assertive communicator on a scale from 1(low) to 10 (high) Aggressive Uses “You statements” Dominating and uses bullying techniques Patronizing In the short run aggressive communications may get what they want and get a sense of power. In the long run, it dissolves trust. Give a scenario of aggressive language to problem solve. What were the long and short term outcomes? How would you rate yourself as an assertive communicator on a scale from 1(low) to 10 (high) Passive Aggressive Passive Aggressive cont. Passive Aggressive Combination of passive and aggressive Confusing with indirect communication Not direct Use of sarcasm with the problem Can keep people from resolving issues, hurt feelings, and encourages distrust Give a scenario of assertive language to problem solve. What were the long and short term outcomes? How would you rate yourself as an assertive communicator on a scale from 1(low) to 10 (high) 25 Stages of A Relationship Attraction Uncertainty Exclusivity Intimacy Engagement Mars and Venus on a Date RELATIONSHIPS: Healthy or IF YOU WANT TO LIVE OUT YOUR DREAMS AND ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS YOU HAVE TO PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE RELATIONSHIPS YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH. RELATIONSHIPS- WE ALL HAVE THEM WE ARE SURROUNDED BY RELATIONSHIPS WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIPS DO YOU HAVE? • PARENTS • FRIENDS • GRANDPARENTS • TEAM MATES • BROTHERS/SISTERS • CO-WORKERS • GIRLFRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS • CLASSMATES • AUNTS/UNCLES ARE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEM HEALTHY OR TOXIC? WHAT DOES “HEALTHY” MEAN? SOMETHING THAT GIVES US THE FEELING OF “WELL BEING” BENEFICIAL IN PRESERVING OR RESTORING HEALTH GOOD FOR SOMEONE – PHYSICALLY, MORALLY, OR BOTH WHAT DOES TOXIC MEAN? POISONOUS DEADLY DANGEROUS HARMFUL CHARACTERISTICS OF TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS DISHONEST DRAINING SELFISH FULL OF DRAMA RUDE CONTROLLING NEGATIVE ADDICTION PUTS YOU DOWN USER UNPREDICTABLE ABUSE RESULTS OF TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS DRAINED LOW SELF-ESTEEM ABUSE CONTROL BEING STUCK REMEMBER YOUR GOALS & DREAMS…. THINK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS……… Is it healthy? * Am I happy? * Is it fun? * Is it building me up or bringing me down? *Am I really able to be myself? *Am I free? *Is it safe? Do my friends/family like him/her?