Transcript - ACTS Christian Center Welcomes YOU Podcast

Fri, Oct. 8 – Sat, Oct. 9, 2009
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Budget
Conference room………..$250
Accessories…………….....$63
Food……………………....$43
Printed Material…………..$35
T-Shirts…………………..$170
$561
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Welcome
Congratulations!
You made it here tonight. We thank you for fighting thru the obstacles and
situations that could have kept you home. The greatest part of a long journey is the
first step. I know you have made many first steps, but making a decision to improve
your marital relationship is a awesome step.
The next 24 hours will set the stage for the years to come, so I strongly encourage
you to jump in with both feet. This is not a typical conference for the teachers to fix
you, but a encounter for God to meet you and your spouse. God is the author of
marriage, and God has the answers you have been looking for. We have been
praying for God to give you a word for your marriage.
This event is designed to hit hard and fast because you already have what it takes to
live abundantly. You will hear many concepts, so be still and listen. We encourage
you to journal during this weekend because God is going to provide direction.
Direction is critical in our lives, and who set the direction even more critical. You
can set your course together by submitting to God and actively listening.
I pray that God blesses you richly in your relationship, and you receive
understanding.
God Bless You
Rodney & Sharon Logan
Pastors ACTS Christian Center
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Table of Contents
1.
Schedule of Events
2.
Marriage Encounter
3.
Submission
4.
Lifestyle of Submission
5.
Difference between Surrender& Submission
6.
Act, Pretend, &Imagine
7.
Thoughts to Ponder
8.
Don’t Miss the Yield Signs
9.
Effectiveness Inventory
10.
The “Great Rip Off”
11.
Our Words Aren’t Good Enough
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BQL Weekend
Schedule of Events
Friday, Oct 9, 2009
(7:00PM – 9:30PM)
SUBMISSION
•
•
•
•
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Icebreaker (20 min)
Worship (20 min)
Session 1 (45 min) – Pastor Rodney
Activity (20 min)
Food & Fellowship
Saturday Oct 10, 2009 - MORNING
(8:00AM – 11:45AM)
COMMUNICATION
•
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•
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Breakfast (60 min) – Continental Style or Cracker Barrel
Small Group Discussion (15 min)
Worship (10 min)
Session 1 (40 min) - Pastor Sharon
Activity (15 min)
Break (10 min)
Session 2 (50 min) – Pastor Sharon
Activity (20 min): Short Video/Ministry Time
Lunch (~30 min)
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Weekend
Schedule of Events
Saturday October 10, 2009 - AFTERNOON
(1:00PM – 4:00PM)
• Activity (30 min): Time Alone with God & Spouse
• Small Group Discussion (15 min)
• Worship (10 min)
• Session 3 (50 min) - Pastor Rodney
• Break (15 min)
• Session 4 (30 min) – Pastor Rodney
• Small Group Discussion (30 min)
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Marriage Encounter
1.
EVERYTHING said at an encounter, stays at the encounter.
2.
There is power in the secret.
3.
Freedom comes when you are honest and open.
4.
We are going to be asking some things of you this weekend
that you may not understand. We assure you that there is a
purpose in everything we ask.
5.
This weekend can change your life if you let it. God has
things He wants to root out, and things He wants to put in,
but you have to let Him.
6.
This weekend purpose yourself to: Listen to God, Block
out distractions, & Hear what He is saying to you.
Discipline yourself to tune out the nonsense & focus your
attention & affections on Him…Just like Mary did at Jesus’
feet.
7.
This weekend you will encounter God, encounter yourself,
and encounter others. Let Him do what He wants to do and
make a decision not to leave in the same condition that you
came.
7
Submission
Charles Swindoll tells of being married ten years
before he became aware of the value of being grateful
for the differences between his wife and himself. He
was often irritated that she didn’t view things exactly
as he did. She wasn’t argumentative, only expressive of
her honest feelings. But he took this as a lack of
submission and told her so. Time and time again they
locked horns until finally God showed him from the
Genesis 2:18-25 passage that his wife was different
because God had made her different, and she was more
valuable to him because of those differences. She was
not designed to be his echo but to be his counterpart, a
necessary and needed individual to help him become
all God wanted him to be.
A Lifestyle of
Submission
A popular slogan in recent years has been “peace through
strength.” But James might change that to “peace through
humility.” After all, wars and fights arise from “desires for
pleasure” (James 4:1). Our cravings lead to friendship with
the world and enmity toward God (James 4:2–4). Thus, peace
in the world depends upon peace with God, and that requires
humility (James 4:6).
The way to show humility before God is to submit to Him
(James 4:7). In fact, the New Testament calls believers to a
lifestyle of submission. The fact that Christ submits to His
Father shows that submission need not carry a sense of
inferiority. In fact, it shows that submission—in the ways that
Scripture indicates—is a Christlike behavior, and worthy of
honor (Phil. 2:1–11).
It’s worth mentioning that submission is only half the
equation. For example, the church is called to submit to
Christ, but Christ also has responsibilities toward the church:
to love her, to give Himself up for her, to make her pure, to
nourish and cherish her, to love her as He loves Himself (Eph.
5:25–33).
What is the difference between
Surrender and Submission?
Webster’s dictionary says submission means to ‘yield to
authority.’ Submission is a powerful, positive, and aggressive
principle intended for every man and woman, whether single
or married. It should begin in our single life and extend into
marriage.”
Let’s define surrender. Webster’s dictionary says it means “to
give oneself up into the power of another.” The fact is, the
only one qualified to fill that position is God—first, because
all power belongs to Him, and second, because He won’t
abuse the power. The word surrender is a military term. It
means a war is taking place, and someone wins and someone
loses. Submission, on the other hand, is a win-win
proposition.
Act, Pretend, and Imagine….
1.
How many times have the words act, pretend,
and imagine haunted your thoughts?
2.
Conventional wisdom encourages us to go along
with whatever the spouse wants, not to “rock the
boat,” and then everything will be just fine.
3.
It doesn’t matter what you feel or thinks
differently; all that is required is that you act,
pretend, and imagine.
4.
Remember those days when you acted out
submission to your spouse.
Thought to Ponder
Submission and sacrifice are the virtues that marriage demands, and not
surprisingly, they also prove to be the virtues that bring joy to sex. Our
culture places far too much emphasis on technique, trying to turn
lovemaking into some kind of scientific skill. But husbands and wives
are called to do more than “have sex”; they are called to find joy in the
sexual love that they share. When couples are not finding satisfaction,
usually the problem is not sexual but relational, and therefore spiritual.
Often there is a lot of blame-shifting, with husbands and wives
criticizing one another for their shortcomings. What is the answer?
At the risk of oversimplifying, the answer is for husbands to love their
wives in sacrificial ways. The husband’s spiritual leadership is
fundamental for everything that happens in a marriage, including what
happens in bed. Of course wives have an obligation to their husbands,
including a sexual obligation. As mentioned earlier, “The husband
should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her
husband” (1 Cor. 7:3). Interestingly, here is one place where the Bible
teaches mutual submission: “For the wife does not have authority over
her body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have
authority over his own body, but the wife does” (1 Cor. 7:4). So
husbands and wives must offer themselves to one another in what the
Puritans called “the mutual communication of bodies.” This is their
marital duty. But it will always be a chore if a wife is not cherished by
her husband. The key to a happy marriage, sexually and otherwise, is,
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25).
Ryken, Philip Graham: Written in Stone : The Ten Commandments and Today's Moral
Crisis. Wheaton, Ill. : Crossway Books, 2003, S. 160
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DON’T MISS THE YIELD SIGNS
REFLECTION
•
Describe a time when you wanted to be mad, but somehow laughter broke through instead.
Question 1
•
For anyone with kids, this question shouldn’t be difficult to answer. Children have an
incredible ability to disobey while being cute and funny at the same time! Take some time
laughing about each other’s stories.
BIBLE READING
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Read Ephesians 5:21–33 from the ncv or the nkjv.
NCV
21Yield
to obey each other because you respect
NKJV
21submitting
to one another in the fear of God.
Christ.
22Wives,
22Wives,
yield to your husbands, as you do to the
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Lord, because the husband is the head of the
wife, as Christ is the head of the church. And he is
the Savior of the body, which is the church. 24As
the church yields to Christ, so you wives should
yield to your husbands in everything.
submit to your own husbands, as to
the Lord. 23For the husband is head of the wife,
as also Christ is head of the church; and He is
the Savior of the body. 24Therefore, just as the
church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to
their own husbands in everything.
25Husbands,
25Husbands,
love your wives as Christ loved the
church and gave himself for it 26to make it belong
to God. Christ used the word to make the church
clean by washing it with water. 27He died so that
he could give the church to himself like a bride in
all her beauty. He died so that the church could
be pure and without fault, with no evil or sin or
any other wrong thing in it. 28In the same way,
husbands should love their wives as they love
their own bodies. The man who loves his wife
loves himself. 29No one ever hates his own body,
but feeds and takes care of it. And that is what
Christ does for the church, 30because we are parts
of his body. 31The Scripture says, “So a man will
leave his father and mother and be united with
his wife, and the two will become one body.”
32That secret is very important—I am talking
about Christ and the church. 33But each one of
you must love his wife as he loves himself, and a
wife must respect her husband.
love your wives, just as Christ also
loved the church and gave Himself for her,
26that He might sanctify and cleanse her with
the washing of water by the word, 27that He
might present her to Himself a glorious church,
not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
but that she should be holy and without
blemish. 28So husbands ought to love their own
wives as their own bodies; he who loves his
wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hated his
own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just
as the Lord does the church. 30For we are
members of His body, of His flesh and of His
bones. 31“For this reason a man shall leave his
father and mother and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.” 32This is a
great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ
and the church. 33Nevertheless let each one of
you in particular so love his own wife as
himself, and let the wife see that she respects
her husband.
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DON’T MISS THE YIELD SIGNS
DISCOVERY
Explore the Bible reading by discussing these questions.
QUESTION 2
What makes it difficult to yield to someone else’s wants and needs instead of
your own?
QUESTION 3
This passage compares the husband’s role in a marriage to Christ’s role as the
head of the church. What responsibilities then does the husband have?
QUESTION 4
How can wives honor their husbands as the church honors Christ?
QUESTION 5
If your group contains both males and females, consider having the men answer
this question first, before you give the women a chance to answer. (And you
may want to require the women to answer before the men in question 5.)
In what ways can husbands give their lives for their wives as this passage says
they should?
QUESTION 6
What is the relationship between love and respect in a marriage?
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DON’T MISS THE YIELD SIGNS
INSPIRATION
The Inspirational Bible
You came home cranky because a deadline got moved up. She came home
grumpy because the day-care forgot to give your five-year-old her throat
medicine. Each of you was wanting a little sympathy from the other, but
neither got any. So there you sit at the dinner table—cranky and
grumpy—with little Emily. Emily folds her hands to pray (as she has been
taught), and the two of you bow your heads (but not your hearts) and
listen. From where this prayer comes, God only knows.
“God, it’s Emily. How are you? I’m fine, thank you. Mom and Dad are
mad. I don’t know why. We’ve got birds and toys and mashed potatoes
and each other. Maybe you can get them to stop being mad? Please do, or
it’s just gonna be you and me having any fun tonight. Amen.”
The prayer is answered before it’s finished, you both look up in the middle
and laugh at the end and shake your heads and say you’re sorry. And you
both thank God for the little voice who reminded you about what matters.
That’s what “lovebursts” do … Lovebursts. Spontaneous affection.
Tender moments of radiant love. Ignited devotion. Explosions of
tenderness … They remind you about what matters. A telegram delivered
to the back door of the familiar, telling you to treasure the treasure you’ve
got while you’ve got it. A whisper from an angel, or someone who sounds
like one, reminding you that what you have is greater than what you want
and that what is urgent is not always what matters.
(From He Still Moves Stones by Max Lucado)
QUESTION 7
When both the husband and wife need the other’s sympathy or attention at
the same time, how do both get their needs met?
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DON’T MISS THE YIELD SIGNS
QUESTION 8
•
List some tactics that help a couple regain perspective when circumstances
get tense?
QUESTION 9
•
Name some issues or circumstances that seem urgent but don’t really
matter in the long run.
PRAYER
•
God, give us strength as we try to be more like Jesus in our homes. Keep
the evil one away from us. Keep us close to you. Let our homes be
testimonies of your love for us. When people look inside, let them see how
you have loved the world.
JOURNALING
•
Take a few moments to record your personal insights from this lesson.
•
In what ways can I bend more this week to mend a relationship rather
than get my own way?
ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS
•
What does it mean to “yield” to someone or something?
•
In what ways is the church like a bride?
•
In Revelation 21:1–5 you can find a description of the bride of Christ.
•
In what ways will respecting Christ help couples yield to each other?
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For more Bible passages on loving marriages, see Colossians 3:18–19; Hebrews 13:4; 1
Peter 3:1–7; .
Time to Reflect
What are your expectations for this weekend?
What has your experience with God been like in the past?
What has your church experience been like?
What are you expecting God to do this weekend?
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Submission
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Submission
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Submission
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Submission
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Submission
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Submission
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Submission
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Time Alone with God & Your Spouse
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Time to Reflect
Has this evening been an eye opening time for you? Explain.
Are you ready to share your story with someone? If the answer is
no, then what holds you back?
Are you ready to put your past behind you and go forward? What
does that mean to you?
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Discussion as a Couple
1. How do you define communication? How does this definition relate
to your marriage relationship?
2. How do your differences hinder communication with your spouse?
How can you stop this?
3. How do you define listening? How is it important in
communication?
4. How does non-verbal communication affect communication with
your spouse?
5. How do you think communication can help you work together to
solve problems?
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Communication: “The Great Rip-Off”
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Communication: “The Great Rip-Off”
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Communication: “The Great Rip-Off”
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Communication: “The Great Rip-Off”
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*Effectiveness Inventory
Circle the best answer (“True” or “False”) for each of the statements
below continuing to the next page.
1
I feel criticized by my spouse.
TRUE
FALSE
2
When I share my feelings with my spouse, I feel understood and
supported
TRUE
FALSE
3
I feel that my spouse does not listen to me
TRUE
FALSE
4
My spouse shares his or her insecurities with me.
TRUE
FALSE
5
I would rather tell a small lie than get into an argument
TRUE
FALSE
6
I feel refreshed when I have time alone with my spouse.
TRUE
FALSE
7
My spouse finishes my sentences for me.
TRUE
FALSE
8
We are generally able to work through disagreements without
much trouble
TRUE
FALSE
9
It is not easy for me to share my feelings with my spouse.
TRUE
FALSE
10
I feel respected by my spouse.
TRUE
FALSE
11
When I bring up a problem with my spouse, he or she often turns it
around on me.
TRUE
FALSE
12
I feel appreciated.
TRUE
FALSE
13
We don’t agree very often.
TRUE
FALSE
14
We enjoy going out on dates alone.
TRUE
FALSE
15
I feel that my spouse does not give me credit for much.
TRUE
FALSE
16
I feel loved.
TRUE
FALSE
17
My spouse does not like to share what is on his or her mind.
TRUE
FALSE
18
My spouse understands me.
TRUE
FALSE
19
We tend to have unresolved disagreements.
TRUE
FALSE
20
We have effective communications.
TRUE
FALSE
*Effectiveness Inventory taken from Fortified Marriages , “How to Build & Maintain a Strong Marriage & Family” by Chris Gardner (2006, p. 91 & 92)
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*Effectiveness Inventory
Circle the best answer (“True” or “False”) for each of the statements
below continuing to the next page.
1
I feel criticized by my spouse.
TRUE
FALSE
2
When I share my feelings with my spouse, I feel understood and
supported
TRUE
FALSE
3
I feel that my spouse does not listen to me
TRUE
FALSE
4
My spouse shares his or her insecurities with me.
TRUE
FALSE
5
I would rather tell a small lie than get into an argument
TRUE
FALSE
6
I feel refreshed when I have time alone with my spouse.
TRUE
FALSE
7
My spouse finishes my sentences for me.
TRUE
FALSE
8
We are generally able to work through disagreements without
much trouble
TRUE
FALSE
9
It is not easy for me to share my feelings with my spouse.
TRUE
FALSE
10
I feel respected by my spouse.
TRUE
FALSE
11
When I bring up a problem with my spouse, he or she often turns it
around on me.
TRUE
FALSE
12
I feel appreciated.
TRUE
FALSE
13
We don’t agree very often.
TRUE
FALSE
14
We enjoy going out on dates alone.
TRUE
FALSE
15
I feel that my spouse does not give me credit for much.
TRUE
FALSE
16
I feel loved.
TRUE
FALSE
17
My spouse does not like to share what is on his or her mind.
TRUE
FALSE
18
My spouse understands me.
TRUE
FALSE
19
We tend to have unresolved disagreements.
TRUE
FALSE
20
We have effective communications.
TRUE
FALSE
*Effectiveness Inventory taken from Fortified Marriages , “How to Build & Maintain a Strong Marriage & Family” by Chris Gardner (2006, p. 91 & 92)
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*Effectiveness Inventory
Circle the best answer (“True” or “False”) for each of the statements
below continuing to the next page.
Count the odd numbered questions you answered “False” and enter
the total here:
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Count the even numbered questions you answered “True and enter the
total here:
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Add the scores and enter total here:
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Scoring:
30-40:
20-29:
10-19:
<10:
Your communication is excellent; keep it up!
Your communication is good; continue to work at it.
Your communication needs work; you may want to do further study
You should seek out a counselor to help you learn some basic
communication skills.
The purpose of this inventory is to give ou an idea about where your
communication skills are presently. Communication is a learned skill; you can
improve. Please do not use this inventory to attack your spouse for his or her
poor communication habits. Excellent communication takes two strong
communicators. Poor communication takes two poor communicators. Your
score depends on the two of you and the two of you will be able to improve
it.
*Effectiveness Inventory taken from Fortified Marriages , “How to Build & Maintain a Strong Marriage & Family” by Chris Gardner (2006, p. 91 & 92)
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Communication: Your Words Aren’t Enough
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Communication: Your Words Aren’t Enough
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Communication: Your Words Aren’t Enough
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Communication: Your Words Aren’t Enough
Session Speaker: ___________________
Session Notes:
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38
Small Group Time
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Communication: Well Done
Session Speaker: ___________________
Session Notes:
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40
Communication: Well Done
Session Speaker: ___________________
Session Notes:
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41
Communication: Well Done
Session Speaker: ___________________
Session Notes:
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42
Communication: Well Done
Session Speaker: ___________________
Session Notes:
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43
Communication: Well Done
Session Speaker: ___________________
Session Notes:
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44
Communication: Well Done
Session Speaker: ___________________
Session Notes:
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45
Time Alone with God & Your Spouse
46
Session Speaker: ___________________
Session Notes:
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47
Session Speaker: ___________________
Session Notes:
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48
Session Speaker: ___________________
Session Notes:
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49
Fri, Oct. 8 – Sat, Oct. 9, 2009
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