Transcript OBJECTIVES - Adlai E. Stevenson High School

COMMUNICATION
notes pages 4-6
Michigan Merit Curriculum
• Standard 7: Social Skills
– 4.9 Demonstrate how to apply listening and assertive
communication skills in situations that may involve
parents, family members, other trusted adults, peer,
boyfriends/girlfriends, and health professionals.
– 4.10 Demonstrate how to respond constructively to
the anger of others.
– 4.5 Demonstrate the ability to express emotions
constructively, including use of anger management
skills.
– 3.13 Demonstrate the ability to use conflict resolution
skills.
COMMUNICATON
• Is critical because it let others know what you
feel, what you want and need, and what
you know.
• Effective communication is a two-way street.
It means sending messages that are
interpreted correctly, and it means
interpreting messages that you receive.
• There are three
basic skills
associated with
effective
communication:
speaking,
listening, and
body language.
• Say clearly what you mean.
• Do not assume others can read your mind or
know your needs or expectations.
• Changes in your tone of voice and its pitch and
loudness plays a large role in how you
communicate.
• Saying no too softly makes it seem as if you
don’t mean what you are saying.
• So it is not just what you say that is important
to communicating but how you say it.
DISCUSSION

How is the communication process
altered when you and the same friend talk
on the phone?

What happens when you and the same
friend “talk” via e-mail or texting?

When the message to be
delivered has a strong
emotional content, it is
best to use an “I”
message.


An “I” message is a
statement in which a
person tells how he or she
feels using the pronoun “I”
Using “I” messages can help
you avoid blaming, namecalling, or antagonizing the
other person in other ways.
I - messages
 I feel
 When
 Because
 “I feel unappreciated when you ignore
me when you are with your friends
because I care about you.”
4.9 Demonstrate how to apply listening and assertive communication skills in
situations that may involve parents, family members, other trusted adults,
peer, boyfriends/girlfriends, and health professionals.
“I” Message
ANTAGONISTIC
MESSAGE
You idiot! What have
you done with my ipod?
Why do we always have
to do what you want to
do?
CONSTRUCTIVE “I”
MESSAGE
I dislike when you
borrow my things and
don’t return them.
I’ll agree to go swimming
today if I get to pick the
activity next time we’re
together.
You’re always late! I
I worry about you when I
don’t know why I even
expect to meet you at
bother being your friend. 6:00 and you don’t show
up.

Listening is the part of communication
that is most often overlooked.

“Hearing” is not the same as listening!
The average listener correctly
understands, properly evaluates, and
retains only about 30 percent of what
he or she hears in a 10-minute
presentation.


Within 48 hours, memory of what
was said drops to an even lower
percentage.
ACTIVE LISTENING
 Skilled listeners use “active listening”,
really paying attention to what someone is
saying and feeling..
 Active listeners techniques –
 Reflective
listening. Rephrase or
summarize what the other person has
said so that you are sure you understand
what is intended. “So, you would like your
parents to trust you more, is this right?”
ACTIVE LISTENING
Encouraging. Give signals that you are
really interested and involved. Saying
“Can you tell me more…?”
Clarifying. Ask the person how he or she feels
about the situation or asking questions to
understand what is being said.
“When did this
happen?”
Empathizing. Feel what the other person is
feeling. If the person feels sad, feel sad
too. “You seem very upset.”
ACTIVE LISTENING
 Validating – to acknowledge the value of
their issues and feelings. Show
appreciation for their efforts and actions.
“I appreciate your willingness to resolve
this matter.”
• Tips for becoming a more effective listener:
– Give your full attention to the person speaking
– Listen for feeling and watch for gestures.
– Make eye contact. Do not interrupt. Wait your turn.
COMMUNICATION: AGREEING TO
DISAGREE
It is not realistic to think that you and
your friends will agree on everything.
Give the person a turn to speak.
Avoid shouting the person down.
Keep your ears-and-mindopen.
Use “I” messages. You will feel better in
the end if you express your beliefs and
feelings in an appropriate way.
AGREEING TO DISAGREE
Stick to the subject.
Don’t bring the person’s character
or personality into the discussion.
Keep the tone friendly.
If your friend holds a different
view from yours on a particular
topic, remember that tastes vary
from individual to individual.
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM
 Use constructive
criticism, non-hostile
comments that point out
problems and have the
potential to help a person
change.
 Avoid attacking the other
person. Avoid placing
blame or resorting to
name-calling.
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM
 Start with an “I”
message, then point
out what the person
is doing or has done,
and describe a better
way to do it.
 “I really dislike
missing the opening
of the show. Please
try to arrive earlier
next time.”
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS AND
COMPLIMENTS
• Have you received a
thank-you note or a
verbal pat on the
back for a job well
done? Have you
even given one?
• Complimenting
another person is a
way of
acknowledging his
or her self worth.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS AND
COMPLIMENTS
• These gestures
can go a long
way toward
improving the
health of a
relationship and
another’s
person’s opinion
of you.