Transcript Choices in Relationships

Choices in
Relationships
Chapter Eleven: Parenting
Roles Involved in Parenting
• Caregiver
• Emotional Resource
• Economic Resource
• Teacher
Roles Involved in Parenting
• Protector
• Ritual Bearer
Roles Involved in Parenting
Choices Perspective of Parenting
• Nature of Parenting Choices
– The absence of a parental decision is a
decision.
– Parental choices involve trade-offs.
– View bad choices positively.
Choices Perspective of Parenting
• Five Basic Parenting Choices
– The five basic choices parents make include:
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Deciding whether to have a child
Deciding the number of children
Deciding the interval between children
Deciding one’s method of discipline and guidance
Deciding the degree to which one will be invested
in the role of parent
Transition to Parenthood
• Transition to Motherhood
– Although childbirth is sometimes thought of
as a painful ordeal, some women describe the
experience as fantastic, joyful, and
unsurpassed.
– Emotional bonding may be temporarily
impeded by a mild depression, characterized
by irritability, crying, loss of appetite, and
difficulty in sleeping.
Transition to Parenthood
• Transition to Fatherhood
– Children from intact homes or those in which
fathers maintained an active involvement in
their lives after divorce tend to:
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Make good grades
Be less involved in crime
Have good health/self-concept
Have a strong work ethic
Have durable marriages
Have a strong moral conscience
Have higher life satisfaction
Transition to Parenthood
• Transition to Fatherhood
– Children from intact homes or those in which
fathers maintained an active involvement in
their lives after divorce tend to:
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Have higher incomes as adults
Have higher education levels
Form close friendships
Have stable jobs
Have fewer premarital births
Have lower child sex abuse
Exhibit fewer anorectic symptoms
Transition to Parenthood
• Transition from a Couple to a Family
– Researchers disagree over whether children
have a negative or positive impact on a
couple’s marital relationship.
– Regardless of how children affect the feelings
spouses have about their marriage, spouses
report more commitment to their relationship
once they have children.
Transition to Parenthood
Parenthood: Some Facts
• Each Child Is Unique
– Parents soon become aware of the uniqueness
of each child—of her or his difference from
every other child they know.
• Parents Are Only One Influence in a
Child’s Development
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Siblings
Teachers
Media
Internet
Parenthood: Some Facts
• Parenting Styles Differ
– Permissive parents are high on responsiveness and
low on demandingness.
– Authoritarian parents are high on demandingness and
low in responsiveness.
– Authoritative parents are both demanding and
responsive.
– Uninvolved parents are low in responsiveness and
demandingness.
Principles of Effective Parenting
• Give Time, Love, Praise, and
Encouragement
– Since children depend first on their parents
for the development of their sense of
emotional security, it is critical that parents
provide a warm emotional context in which
the children can develop.
Principles of Effective Parenting
• Monitor Child’s Activities
– Abundant research suggests that parents who
monitor their children—know where their
children are, who they are with, etc.—are less
likely to report that their adolescents are
involved in delinquent behavior and drinking
alcohol, poor academic performance, and
sexual activity.
Principles of Effective Parenting
• Set Limits and Discipline Children for
Inappropriate Behavior
– The goal of guidance is self-control.
– Guidance may involve reinforcing desired
behavior or providing limits to children’s
behavior.
Principles of Effective Parenting
• Provide Security
– Security provides children with the needed
self-assurance to venture beyond the family.
• Encourage Responsibility
– Giving children increased responsibility
encourages the autonomy and independence
they need to be assertive and independent.
Principles of Effective Parenting
• Provide Sex Education
– Although they are reluctant to discuss safe
sex, their doing so often has positive
consequences.
• Express Confidence
– If the parents show the child that they have
confidence in him or her, the child begins to
accept these social definitions as real and
becomes more self-confident.
Principles of Effective Parenting
• Respond to Teen Years Creatively
– Catch them doing what you like rather than criticizing
them for what you don’t like.
– Be direct when necessary.
– Provide information rather than answers.
– Be tolerant of high activity levels.
– Engage in some activity with your teenagers.
Gay Parenting Issues
• Several issues unique to gay parents:
– Identity issues
– Concerns about parenting effectiveness
– New intimate relationships
– Boundary issues
Approaches to Childrearing
• Developmental-Maturational Approach
– “Ages-and-stages” approach to childrearing
• Behavioral Approach
– Behavior is learned through classical and
operant conditioning.
Approaches to Childrearing
• Parent Effectiveness Training Approach
– Parent effectiveness training focuses on what
children feel and experience in the here and
now—how they see the world.
• Socioteleological Approach
– Because children feel powerless in the face of
adult superiority, they try to compensate by
gaining attention, exerting power, seeking
revenge, and acting inadequate.
Approaches to Childrearing
• Attachment Parenting
– Overall, the ultimate goal is for parents to get
connected with their baby.
– Once parents are connected, it is easy for
parents to figure out what works for them and
to develop a parenting style that fits them and
their baby.
Approaches to Childrearing