Transcript Choices in Relationships

CHAPTER 11
Parenting
Chapter 11: Parenting
Chapter Outline
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Choices Perspective of Parenting
Transition to Parenthood
Parenthood: Some Facts
Principles of Effective Parenting
Child Rearing Theories
Single Parenting Issues
The Future of Parenting
Chapter 11: Parenting
Introduction
• Quote: “Having children makes you no
more a parent than having a piano makes
you a pianist.”
– Michael Levine, Pianist
• Discussion: How do you think the media
affects parenting for families that publicize
their families like Jon and Kate Plus 8?
Chapter 11: Parenting
Introduction
• True or False?
– Infants who sleep with their own parents
in the parents’ bed are at significant risk
of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome when
compared with children who do not
share a bed with their parents.
Chapter 11: Parenting
Introduction
• Answer: FALSE
– A study of 260 SIDS deaths found that the
usual bed sharing, where one infant shares
the bed with a parent, is not associated with
SIDS.
– However, where the parent slept on a sofa or
where more than one child was in the bed,
there was an increased risk of SIDS.
Chapter 11: Parenting
Introduction
• True or False?
– Parents, compared to nonparents, report
higher marital satisfaction.
Chapter 11: Parenting
Introduction
• Answer: FALSE
– A study of the effect children have on marital
satisfaction found that:
• Parents (both women and men) reported lower
marital satisfaction than nonparents.
• Mothers of infants reported the most significant
drop in marital satisfaction.
• The higher the number of children, the lower the
marital satisfaction.
• Factors that depressed marital satisfaction were
conflict and loss of freedom.
The Choices Perspective of Parenting
Nature of Parenting Choices
• Parents might keep the following points in
mind when making choices about how to
rear their children:
1. Not to make a parental decision is to make a
decision.
2. All parental choices involved trade-offs.
3. Reframe “regretful” parental decisions.
4. Parental choices are influenced by society
and culture.
PHOTO ESSAY: Parenting Roles
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Caregiver
Emotional Resource
Economic Resource
Teacher
Protector
Health Promotion
Ritual Bearer
Six Basic Parenting Choices
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Deciding whether to have a child.
Deciding the number of children.
Deciding the interval between children.
Deciding one’s method of discipline and
guidance.
5. Deciding the degree to which one will be
invested in the role of parent.
6. Deciding whether or not to co-parent.
Transition to Parenthood
• The transition to parenthood refers to
that period from the beginning of
pregnancy through the first few months
after the birth of a baby.
• The mother, father, and couple undergo
changes and adaptations during this
period.
Transitions to Parenthood
Transitions to Motherhood
• Mothers soon learn that much of the work of parenting
falls to them.
• Although childbirth is sometimes thought of as painful,
some women describe the experience as fantastic,
joyful, and unsurpassed.
• Emotional bonding may be temporarily impeded by a
mild depression, characterized by irritability, crying, loss
of appetite, and difficulty sleeping.
– Baby Blues
– Postpartum Depression
– Postpartum Psychosis
Transitions to Parenthood
Transitions to Fatherhood
• Children Benefit from Involved Fathers:
– Make good grades
– Less involved in crime
– Good health/self-concept
– Have a strong work ethic
– Have durable marriages
– Have a strong moral conscience
– Have higher life satisfaction
– Have higher incomes as adults
– Have higher education levels
Transitions to Parenthood
Transitions to Fatherhood
• Children Benefit from Involved Fathers:
– Form close friendships
– Have stable jobs
– Have fewer premarital births
– Have lower child sex abuse
– Exhibit fewer anorexic symptoms
Transitions to Parenthood
Transition from a Couple to a Family
• Researchers disagree over whether
children have a negative or positive impact
on a couple’s marital relationship.
• Regardless of how children affect the
feelings spouses have about their
marriage, spouses report more
commitment to their relationship once they
have children.
Percentage of Couples Getting
Divorced by Number of Children
Parenthood: Some Facts
• Views of children differ historically
• Parents are only one influence in a child’s
development
– Others include siblings, teachers, media, and
the Internet
• Each child is unique
– Parents soon become aware of how each
child is different from every other child they
know
Parenthood: Some Facts
• Birth order effects: Sulloway identified
some personality characteristics that have
their basis in a child’s position in the
family:
– First child: Conforming/Traditional
– Middle child: Experimental/Adventurous
– Youngest child: Neurotic/Emotionally Unstable
Parenthood: Some Facts
Parenting Styles Differ
1. Permissive parents are high on
responsiveness and low on demandingness.
2. Authoritarian parents are high on
demandingness and low in responsiveness.
3. Authoritative parents are both demanding
and responsive.
4. Uninvolved parents are low in
responsiveness and demandingness.
Principles of Effective Parenting
• Give time, love, praise, and encouragement
– Since children depend on their parents for the
development of their of emotional security,
parents must provide a warm emotional
context in which the children can develop.
• Avoid overindulgence
– Avoid giving children too much, too soon, and
for too long.
Principles of Effective Parenting
• Monitor child’s activities/drug use
– Abundant research suggests that parents who know
where their children are and who they are with are
less likely to report that their adolescents are involved
in delinquent behavior such as drinking alcohol, poor
academic performance, and sexual activity.
• Monitor television and pornography exposure
– Research shows that teens watch an average of 4.5
hours of TV daily and use 1.5 hours of nonschool
Internet. Also, research indicates that there are
negative effects of pornography exposure on teens.
Principles of Effective Parenting
• Monitor cell phone/text messaging use
– Teens may be sending inappropriate text
messages.
• Set limits and discipline children for
inappropriate behavior
– The goal of guidance is self-control.
– Guidance may involve reinforcing desired
behavior or providing limits to children’s
behavior.
Principles of Effective Parenting
• Have family meals
– Parents who stay connected with their
children build strong relationships with
them and report fewer problems.
• Encourage responsibility
– Giving children increased responsibility
encourages the autonomy and
independence they need to be assertive
and independent.
Principles of Effective Parenting
• Provide sex education
– Although parents may be reluctant to discuss
safe sex, their doing so often has positive
consequences.
• Express confidence
– If the parents show the child that they have
confidence in him or her, the child begins to
accept these social definitions as real and
becomes more self-confident.
Principles of Effective Parenting
• Respond to Teen Years Creatively
1. Catch them doing what you like rather than
criticizing them for what you don’t like.
2. Be direct when necessary.
3. Provide information rather than answers.
4. Be tolerant of high activity levels.
5. Engage in some activity with your teenagers.
Single-Parenting Issues
• A single-parent family is one in which
there is only one parent.
– The other parent is completely out of the
child’s life through death, sperm donation, or
complete abandonment.
• A single-parent household is one in
which one parent typically has primary
custody of the child or children but the
parent living out of the house is still a part
of the child’s family.
Single-Parenting Issues
Challenges Faced by Single Parents
1. Responding to the demands of parenting with limited
help
2. Coping with adult psychological/assaultive issues
alone
3. Resolving the issue of adult sexual needs
4. Lack of money
5. Guardianship
6. Parental Care
7. Absence of a father (or mother)
8. Negative life outcomes for the child in a single-parent
family
9. Perpetuation of single family structure
The Future of Parenting
• The future of parenting will involve new
contexts for children and new behaviors that
children learn and parents tolerate.
• While parents will continue to be the primary
context in which their children are reared,
because the financial need for both parents
to earn an income will increase, children will
increasingly end up in day care, afterschool
programs, and day camps during the
summer.
Quick Quiz
1. What is the primary focus of parent
effectiveness training?
a.
b.
c.
d.
Family systems theory
Letting children make their own decisions
Operant conditioning
Life and behavior based on how children view
their world
Quick Quiz
2. The theory that children feel powerless
and act out to compensate for it is the
basis for the:
a.
b.
c.
d.
social learning approach
family systems theory
socioteleological approach
reality therapy
Quick Quiz
3. What style of parenting is associated with
obedience at all costs?
a.
b.
c.
d.
Authoritative parenting
Permissive parenting
Authoritarian parenting
Democratic parenting
Quick Quiz
4. Who are more likely to defer to their
children?
a.
b.
c.
d.
Permissive parents
Democratic parents
Authoritative parents
Authoritarian parents
Quick Quiz
5. Which of the following is not a challenge
faced by a single parent?
a.
b.
c.
d.
Independence
Satisfaction of adult needs
Financial struggles
Discipline of children