Transcript True Colors Parenting - Mrs. Miller`s Child Development Class

A workshop by
Julie Miller and Tiffany Cornett
Information obtained and adapted from:
True Parenting: How to Foster Deeper Family Ties and a Harmonious
Home (True Success Book)
By Kathy Hayward



Understanding your own personality will help
you to understand your child’s personality
and behaviors.
Complete the quiz provided to discover your
personality color.
Fill in the follow along worksheet for this
session.



You now have your personality color.
You may have a secondary color if your score
was within one or two points from your main
color.
If this occurs, you will have a dominate and a
recessive color to create a combined
personality color.






Acts on a moments
notice
Sees life as a game of
chance
Needs
stimulation/freedom
/excitement/values
action
Natural leader
Troubleshooter
Performer





Bored easily (with
careers and
routine/structure)
Seek relationships
with people who
share interests.
Enjoy giving gifts
that bring joy.
Learn by doing and
experiencing.
Competitive






Need freedom to take
immediate action.
Zest for life
Desire to test the limits.
Prideful in being skilled
in a variety of areas.
Master negotiator.
Hands on approach to
life.









Strength
Impulse to really live
Testing the limits
Need for variation
Excitement and lightheartedness
Spontaneous
Being able to react in a
crisis
Love for tools
Charming, witty and fun
Waiting is painful
Keys to personal success






Responsible
Strength
Respect for authority
Establish and
maintain policies,
procedures and
schedules.
Sense of wrong and
right
Like organization,
dependability,
management and
detail





Need to be useful
and to belong
Backbone of a group
Values home, family,
status, security and
tradition
Seek relationships
that ensure
predictability
Caring, concerned
and practical







Value order
Cherish traditions of
home and family
Provide for and support
the structure of society
Steadfastness and loyalty
Generous
Parental by nature
Makes sure everyone
does right
Strengths-Duty








Generous
Work ethic
Ceremony
Sense of history
Dignity, culture
Value order
Home and family
Establishing
organization
Keys to personal success






Compassionate
Encouraging
Would give the shirt
of their backs for
another
Nurturing and
harmonizing
Values art and
expression
Desire to lead so
others can lead a
more significant life.






Seek harmonious
relationships
Enjoys romance
Imaginative/difficult
to fit in in school
Sensitive to discord
or rejection
Responds to
encouragement
Can believe and think
outside of ones
comfort zone








Express inner me
Value honesty
Dramatic
Spiritual
Sincere
Sympathetic
Nurturing
Facilitator of human
potential
Strength-Authenticity







Authenticity as a
standard
Seeking reality
Devotion
Cultivating potential in
others
Sensitive to subtlety
Seeking harmony
Needs to be listened to
when needed.
Keys to success







Conceptual
Investigative mind
Questions everything
Independent
Likes things that
require vision
Needs proof to
believe
Values intelligence






Enjoy relationships
with shared interests
Head over heart
mindset
Work is play
Drawn to challenges
in career
Like to develop
models
Does not linger on
things already
accomplished







Thinks projects through
Investigates all options
Values intelligence
Self-motivated
Focused on goals
Natural non-conformist
Likes problem solving,
designing, ingenuity and
change
Strength-conceptual






Self driven
Often seen as an outsider
Intelligence is prized and
seen as its own reward
Appear wise beyond their
years
Works well to delegate
once the idea is
perfected within
Investigative
Keys to success






Colors can become complimentary and
conflict
Green and Orange compliment each other
Gold and Blue compliment each other
Green and Blue conflict
Gold and Orange conflict
Why might this be?




Spontaneous
Quick to action
Needs change
Work hard to have fun




Orange
Thinks through things
that orange may miss
Likes to work quick yet
efficient
Willing to move on to
change when the
action is mastered
Work is fun to them
Green






Likes structure
Needs rules to the
game
Responsible
Organized
Values family
Needs validation for a
job well done
Gold





Needs structure to
maintain free spirit
Open to rules and
willing to work in a
group
Brings creativity to
structure
Values family
Nurturing and can
value the gold’s work
Blue





Freedom is valued
Spontaneous actions
are fun
Quick to make
decisions
Don’t mind bending
the rules
Value time away from
family to seek
individuality
Orange





Structure is key
Change and spontaneity
create anxiety without
planning
Need time to evaluate the
situation and weigh each
option
Don’t like breaking rules
Value family and
together time
Gold






Value intelligence and
education
Need proof
Decisions are made
easily and with reason
Do not mind conflict and
seek chances to
demonstrate knowledge
Closed personally and
need close relationships
to share
Avoid drama
Green






Value individuality and
art
Can believe from faith
Difficult to make
decisions because too
many factors are
considered
Do not like conflict and
will avoid it
Open and willing to share
Dramatic
Blue





What color is your child?
Do you see personality conflict or
compatibility?
How would personality impact the problems
you currently see in you and your child’s
relationship?
What color is your co-parent’s personality?
Do you see compatibility or conflict with your
co-parents relationship with your child?

Next session
◦ Identify your child’s personality color
◦ Identify where you and your child conflict or are
compatible in personality
◦ Identify your parenting color
◦ Learn how your parenting color and personality
color work together
◦ Identify techniques on how to work with a child of a
compatible/conflicting color to your parenting
color.




Fill out the parenting color quiz to discover
you parenting color
Use the follow along worksheet to identify
your color.
Analyze how your personality and parenting
color interact.
Do you have a recessive color?





Do not endorse a
“right style” nor
compare
Separate well from
children when needed
Allow children to
search for
independence and
learn by exploration
Comfortable allowing
others to join in the
parenting role
Believe in a hands on
approach to problem
solving with children




Willing to try new and
creative things to fix
problems
Direct methods of
communication-no
“sugar coating”
Messy is ok
Expect children to do
their best in what they
pursue





Caretaker
Responsible, hard
working and
dedicated to family
Important to do the
right thing as a
parent
Family members
should keep their
word
Task minder







Work before play
Family should be
organized
My way or the
highway
Need appreciation
Want to be viewed as
good parents
Show love by “doing”
Tend to “do it
ourselves” mentality






Nurture family needs
Communication and
emotional
connectedness is
valued
Devoted parent
Put LOTS of energy
into pleasing the family
putting others before
self
Sensitive to rejection
Prefer democratic
discipline






Want children to be
happy with their lives
Warn, affectionate and
home centered
Enthusiastic and
dramatic spokesperson
for the family
Role of “friend in need”
Can be inconsistent
Torn between what
needs to be done and
what feels right





Encourage
intellectual potential
Want children to have
initiative
Want children to
fulfill their potential
Encourage
investigation and
question things that
interest their children
Dislike wasting time
on the mundane






Explain reasons
behind decisions and
influence other
family members
Often “lecture”
Logical and objective
style of parenting
Achievement is the
reward
Expect family
members to at least
try
May not praise easily



Investigate ways to parent individual children.
Investigate ways to approach situations for
individual children.
Identify ways to co-parent with another
person to your child’s needs.

Allow for choices to be made
◦ We do not always co-parent with someone of the
same color.
◦ In this case, parenting decisions may become
conflicting and difficult to understand the others
perspective.

Consider their desire for change and
spontaneity.
◦ Break large tasks into chunks
◦ Create fun and energizing ways to approach
mundane tasks

Use their competitive edge to your advantage
◦ Create rewards for tasks well done
◦ Praise and celebrate when a task is completed
Conflicting Gold Parent:
◦ Understand they want independence and will test
your rules. Give them options within your rules to
allow them to make decisions.
◦ Your need for structure may be tested. Create a
structure that will keep them in the “bumper
bowling” mode of parenting. They can roll in the
lane, but you established the bumpers so the ball
will not go in the gutter.

Create structure and guidelines for this child.
◦ Charts, reward systems and rules for tasks are
preferred

Praise the child for a job well done when task
is completed.
◦ Gold children are people pleasers. They want to
know their actions were noticed

Allow the gold child to have a place in the
family.
◦ Gold children like to belong and value family.
Giving responsibility will help the gold child to have
a sense or belonging.

Create activities to allow for the gold child to
plan. Yet, help them understand when the plans
don’t go as scheduled.
◦ Vacation activities, parties, shopping trips, menu’s and other
items.
◦ Discuss how they will respond if the plan goes other than how
they planned.
Conflicting Orange:
Understand that your child becomes anxious with spontaneity.
Neatness and organization is prized with them. They may want
to spend time with family having structure around meal times,
holidays and other family oriented activities.




Blue children tend to have their head in the clouds.
Allow for creativity and recognize their expression
Don’t give too much attention to the “drama” while
recognizing their need to be heard.
◦ Discuss difficult topics with the understanding they
become emotional easily.
Help them to understand a healthy balance of giving to
others and giving beyond themselves.
Conflicting Green:
Understand that your rash approach can be harsh to the
blue child. Approach situations with a warm
understanding and open mind to their feelings. Praise
and listen to the blue child with the understanding that
they value your opinion and presence.

Are often seen as “loners”
◦ Give them opportunities to work with other
children. Understand when they feel uncomfortable

Will question everything and plead their case
◦ Need to be heard, leaving the problem at “because I
said so” will not do for them



Tend to use their intellect to get their way
Have a hard time understanding without facts
Need thorough explanation for discipline

Nagging is their kryptonite

Allow them to have space within reason
◦ Develop a system where you can request actions from
the child without having to “nag”
◦ They value their alone time
◦ Alone time allows for thinking and recharging
Conflicting Blue:
Blue parents often want to smother the green child with
love. Allow thinking time, opportunities for
independence and recognize achievements. Green
children conceptualize and rationalize. Create a form of
communication that is health and works for you and the
green child.




Understanding how your child approaches
and sees life will aid you in your parenting
style.
Not all children will be parented the same.
Each child is individual and needs will vary
from child to child, age to age and situation
to situation.
Parenting is not A+B=C. You might start with
A and B only to equal PURPLE!!
Hayward, K. (2001).
True colors parenting: How to foster deeper
family ties and a harmonious home
.(pp. 12-35). True Colors International.