Transcript Detail

Tips For Writing
Corrected Body Paragraph
Detail: From Amsterdam News, 1923,
Boas stated that there is nothing to
show that the white race is superior. He
proclaimed that there are people of “low
moral standing” in all races. He also felt
that the definition of race was too
vague, “since there are no hard and fast
lines between them” (Race Superiority
Bunk).
Body Paragraph
Well-Developed Paragraph Formula
1. Topic sentence (must relate to
thesis)
2. Detail with citation
3. Commentary about the detail
4. Transition to next paragraph / topic.
Phrases to start detail
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According to _________,
In ____________, one learns that
The author ,_________ ,wrote
The book, ________, describes
Research from ______ indicates
______ explains
Phrases to start your
commentary
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This is important because
One can see that
This shows that
The importance here is
This indicates that
This illustrates that
This demonstrates that
From this information, it is clear that
Transitional phrases
Hint at what's in the next paragraph:
On the other hand, there were other
areas that had a huge affect on history.
Transitions!
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Also
On the other hand
This lead to
In addition to
Furthermore
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Therefore
After
Another
Eventually
In the same way
This resulted in
Checklist: 1 point each, label each part on the
paper• Commentary: 2
• Thesis is clear: address
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2 parts of prompt and is
at the end of the intro
Topic sentences match
body paragraph
Introduce detail with
phrase like “According to”
if using a direct quote
Cite detail in MLA format
Introduce commentary
with phrase like “This
shows that…”
Format: double spaced,
12pnt TNR font, last
name page number on
top right corner of each
page
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sentences, does NOT
simply repeat the info in
your detail
Prompt is answered:
first about industry,
capitalism, and
imperialism; THEN
historical example
Works cited page is in
ABC order and correct
MLA format
FORMAL grammar
NINE Key terms are
UNDERLINED /
highlighted
Citation Station: Page 3
• READ THE WHOLE THING
– Underline / highlight key points
– Pay attention to examples of in-text citation
• Highlight key formulas
In-text citation: several options
Example: If you mention the author in the
paragraph, you only have to cite the
page number.
According to Professor Bale, of the History
department at Yale University… oneself and one’s
place in the world" (11).
Notice this example explains who this person is and
what his qualification is in order to include him as
research
STUDENT EXAMPLE
• Highlight / underline each component of
the WDP and label them
Student example
Topic sentence: The Industrial Revolution and capitalism influence the
creation of socialism and communism because workers eventually
became tired of getting exploited and they creating socialism and
communism.
introduction to detail
Detail one: Karl Marx and Friedrich Engles are considered to be the
creators of the socialist system and also created the Communist
Manifesto in 1848, and they believed that they always are two classes
fighting, the “haves,” the bourgeoisies, and the “have-nots,” the lower
class, also known as the proletariats (Goldbaum).
Commentary:This explains the conflict between the two classes…
Transitional phrase: On the other hand, the working class didn’t agree
with this idea
introduction to detail
Detail two: Philosophers started to get involved in this conflict; one of
them was David Ricardo who said that the “poor were meant to supply
the workforce” (“David Ricardo’s Ideas”).
Commentary: This means that as the population…
Conclusion / transition: These conflicts open the road for socialism
because the working class especially didn’t believe in capitalism. Many
individuals didn’t know what was best for society.
WRITE YOUR OWN
• SEPARATE SHEET OF PAPER, glued on
page 4, and Works Cited on page 5
• 20 minutes
– Partner check and label each component of
paragraph
• Write out Prompt: What was the War Guilt
Clause in the Treaty of Versailles and what was
Germany’s response to it? What were Germany’s
main complaints?
– Using pages 424 – 427 in your textbook AND the
article given to you from the internet.
• MUST use one detail from you textbook and one from the
article given to you to support your answer.
• Create a works cited page (on page 5 of notebook) with the
two sources
Example
The war guilt clause in the Treaty of
Versailles was created to punish
Germany for WWI. Germany believed
the treaty was harsh and protested
against giving up territory. According to
the Modern World History textbook,
the war guilt clause required Germany
to “pay reparations, give up territory
such as Alsace-Lorraine, and reduce its
military” (Beck et al. 425). This shows
that…
Trade with a partner in your
group
• LABEL each part of the WDP
– Topic sentence, detail one, citation,
commentary, transition, detail two,
commentary, concluding sentence.
– HIGHLIGHT or box the phrases used to
introduce details and commentary
• If not finished, finish at home and show
me tomorrow
– In this case you may label it yourself
Correct Works Cited for page
5 of notebook
Beck, Roger B. et al. Modern World History:
Patterns of Interaction. Sacramento: McDougal
Little, 2006. Print.
Brockdorff-Rantzau, Count von. “Leader of the
German Peace Delegation Letter to Paris Peace
Conference President Georges Clemenceau on the
Subject of Peace Terms.” firstworldwar.com: a
multimedia history of world war one. N.P. 22
August 2009. 2 Feburary 2010.
Homework pasted on page 6
of notebook
• Using your textbook (435 - 439) Create a
timeline on a separate sheet of paper of the
Russian Revolution
– Use each date starting with “Bloody Sunday” 1905
and end with Stalin’s takeover in 1928
• 15 dates total
• Four events in 1917
– Write a one sentence summary of each date
Works Cited Textbook and
Notebook
Textbook:
Beck, Roger B. et al. Modern World History: Patterns of
Interaction. Sacramento: McDougal Littell, 2006.
Print.
Notebook:
Goldbaum, Elana. “Title of Notes.” Gertz-Ressler High
School. Los Angeles, CA. Day Month Year.
Websites
Last name of author, First name.“Title of Article.”
Title of Website. Publisher of Website. Day
Month Year published. Day Month Year
accessed.
• Use n.p. if there is no publisher
• Use n.d. if there is no publishing date
– EXAMPLE (no author available)
– “Vladimir Lenin.” PBS.org. Microsoft
Corporation. 2000. 2 March 2010.