Transcript Tips For Writing

Tips For Writing
As your proof-read and revise,
ask yourself…
1. How is my grammar
and spelling?
2. Does my thesis make
sense?
3. Do I have evidence
that is correctly cited?
4. Does my evidence
support my topic
sentence and my
thesis through the
whole paper?
5. Are direct quotes
introduced
appropriately?
6. Does my commentary
/ analysis repeat the
evidence? (THIS IS
BAD)
7. Do I analyze how my
evidence connects to
my thesis?
8. Do I have an MLA
citation mistakes?
(period in the wrong
place, citation, works
cited page, etc.)
9. Is there a title page
and works cited page?
Checklist
• Thesis is clear
• Topic sentences match
body paragraph and thesis
• Introduce evidence with
phrase like “According to”
if using a direct quote
• Cite evidence in MLA
format
• Introduce commentary
with phrase like “This
shows that…”
• Format: double spaced,
12pnt TNR font, title page,
last name page number on
top right corner of each
page
• Commentary /
analysis: 2
sentences, does NOT
repeat the info in your
detail, explains why
it’s important and how
it proves your thesis
• Works cited page is
in ABC order and
correct MLA format
• FORMAL grammar
Body Paragraph
Well-Developed Paragraph Formula
1. Topic sentence (must relate to
thesis)
2. Detail (can be combined with topic
sentence) explaining what the topic is
3. Evidence with citation
4. Commentary / analysis about the
detail
5. Transition to next paragraph / topic.
Correct Use of Evidence
Evidence: From Amsterdam News,
1923, Boas stated that there is nothing
to show that the white race is superior.
He proclaimed that there are people of
“low moral standing” in all races. He
also felt that the definition of race was
too vague, “since there are no hard and
fast lines between them” (Race
Superiority Bunk).
Phrases to start evidence
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According to _________,
In ____________, one learns that
The author ,_________ ,wrote
The book, ________, describes
Research from ______ indicates
______ explains
Phrases to start your
commentary
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This is important because
One can see that
This shows that
The importance here is
This indicates that
This illustrates that
This demonstrates that
From this information, it is clear that
Transitional phrases
Hint at what's in the next paragraph:
On the other hand, there were other
areas that had a huge affect on history.
Transitions!
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•
Also
On the other hand
This lead to
In addition to
Furthermore
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Therefore
After
Another
Eventually
In the same way
This resulted in
In-text citation: options
1. If you mention the author in the the
introduction to the quote / evidence, you
only have to cite the page number or article
title.
According to Professor Bale, of the History department at
Yale University… oneself and one’s place in the world" (11).
Notice this example explains who this person is and what his
qualification is in order to include him as research
Student example (grammar errors are
from the student)
Topic sentence / detail: The Industrial Revolution and capitalism
influence the creation of socialism and communism because workers
eventually became tired of getting exploited and they creating
socialism and communism.
introduction to evidence
Evidence: Karl Marx and Friedrich Engles are considered to be the
creators of the socialist system and also created the Communist
Manifesto in 1848, and they believed that they always are two classes
fighting, the “haves,” the bourgeoisies, and the “have-nots,” the lower
class, also known as the proletariats (Lopez).
Commentary:This explains the conflict between the two classes…
Transitional phrase: On the other hand, the working class didn’t agree
with this idea
introduction to evidence
Evdience two: Philosophers started to get involved in this conflict; one
of them was David Ricardo who said that the “poor were meant to
supply the workforce” (“David Ricardo’s Ideas”).
Commentary: This means that as the population…
Conclusion / transition: These conflicts open the road for socialism
because the working class especially didn’t believe in capitalism. Many
individuals didn’t know what was best for society.
WRITE YOUR OWN
• SEPARATE SHEET OF PAPER, glued on
page 4, and Works Cited on page 5
• 20 minutes
– Partner check and label each component of
paragraph
• Write out Prompt: What was the War Guilt
Clause in the Treaty of Versailles and what was
Germany’s response to it? What were Germany’s
main complaints?
– Using pages 424 – 427 in your textbook AND the
article given to you from the internet.
• MUST use one detail from you textbook and one from the
article given to you to support your answer.
• Create a works cited page (on page 5 of notebook) with the
two sources
Example
The war guilt clause in the Treaty of
Versailles was created to punish
Germany for WWI. Germany believed
the treaty was harsh and protested
against giving up territory. According to
the Modern World History textbook,
the war guilt clause required Germany
to “pay reparations, give up territory
such as Alsace-Lorraine, and reduce its
military” (Beck et al. 425). This shows
that…
Trade with a partner in your
group
• LABEL each part of the WDP
– Topic sentence, detail one, citation,
commentary, transition, detail two,
commentary, concluding sentence.
– HIGHLIGHT or box the phrases used to
introduce details and commentary
• If not finished, finish at home and show
me tomorrow
– In this case you may label it yourself
Correct Works Cited - alphabetical
order and indentation
Beck, Roger B. et al. Modern World History:
Patterns of Interaction. Sacramento: McDougal
Little, 2006. Print.
Brockdorff-Rantzau, Count von. “Leader of the
German Peace Delegation Letter to Paris Peace
Conference President Georges Clemenceau on the
Subject of Peace Terms.” firstworldwar.com: a
multimedia history of world war one. N.P. 22
August 2009. 2 Feburary 2010.
Websites
Last name of author, First name.“Title of Article.”
Title of Website. Publisher of Website. Day
Month Year published. Day Month Year
accessed.
• Use n.p. if there is no publisher
• Use n.d. if there is no publishing date
– EXAMPLE (no author available)
– “Vladimir Lenin.” PBS.org. Microsoft
Corporation. 2000. 2 March 2010.