Transcript The Paramedic Method - Purdue Online Writing Lab

The Paramedic Method
Dr. David Blakesley
Professor of English, Purdue
Brought to you in cooperation with the Purdue Online Writing Lab
The problem
How can two sentences that say virtually the same thing
communicate differently?
1.
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground granulated
blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties of ternary mixtures for
use in concrete pavements was undertaken and is presented in this
paper. (36 words! FAT! The “Official Style”)
2.
This paper evaluates the effect of Class C fly ash and ground
granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties of ternary
mixtures in concrete pavements. (26 words! LEAN! “Clear and
Readable Style”)
Lard content of sentence 1: 10/36 = 28%
What’s the difference?
The “Official Style” (Sentence 1) uses . . .
1)
Lots of prepositions and prepositional phrases
2)
“To be” verbs
3)
Nominalizations
4)
The passive voice
5)
A long ‘wind-up’ or introductory phrase
What Is the Paramedic
Method?
Developed by Richard Lanham, the paramedic
method is a set of clear steps for analyzing and
revising wordy sentences. Writers use the
paramedic method to improve clarity and
readability so that their meaning is communicated
concisely and effectively.
Paramedic Method Step 1
1. Underline the prepositional phrases* in
the sentence.
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash
and ground granulated blast furnace slag
(GGBFS) on the properties of ternary
mixtures for use in concrete pavements is
presented in this paper.
* Prepositions are words that indicate relationships between
nouns and pronouns. Words like at, in, on, of, to, about, around,
below, above, from, into, near, since, through, against, after, and
outside are prepositions.
Paramedic Step 2
2. Circle the ‘to be’* verbs.
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and
ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on
the properties of ternary mixtures for use in
concrete pavements was undertaken and is
presented in this paper.
* “To be” verbs are conjugations of “to be”: am, is
Paramedic Step 3
3. Put a box around nominalizations* and (thus) identify
the primary action.
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground
granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties
of ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements was
undertaken and is presented in this paper.
* Nominalizations are nouns that used to be verbs or
adjectives, such as evaluation (n) for evaluated (v)
Paramedic Step 4
Write the nominalization/primary action as
a simple verb.
An evaluation…
becomes
evaluate or evaluates
Paramedic Step 5
5. Ask, “Who or what performs the action?” Then write the
new base clause with the agent in the subject position. Use
the simple verb form from step 4.
…for use in concrete pavements is
presented in this paper.
This paper evaluates…
agent
action
agent
Paramedic Steps 6 and 7
6. Keep the base clause near the beginning of the
sentence, if possible.
7. Eliminate unnecessary words and phrases.
The Final Product
Original
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground
granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties of
ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements was
undertaken and is presented in this paper.
Revised
This paper evaluates the effect of Class C fly ash and
ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the
properties of ternary mixtures in concrete pavements.
Samples for Papers
Original
From the beginning, the writing of this research
article was marked by reluctance.
Revised
I wrote the research article reluctantly.
Sample for Practice
Original
As a means of providing scientists with appropriate
tertiary
data, the conference is intended to serve as a
communication medium for everyone involved.
Revised
The conference will provide scientists with
appropriate tertiary data and a way to share their
research.
Sample for Practice
Original
It was decided that the committee for road improvement
would cease their activity for the term by the managers.
Revised
The managers decided that the committee for road
improvement would cease activity for the term.
Sample Practice
Original
After the process of mixing the chemicals, cooking
the substances at an appropriate temperature,
filtering the remaining silt, and pouring them into the
moulds, the brackets are ready to be used.
Revised
The brackets are ready for use after the chemicals
are mixed, cooked, filtered, and fit into the moulds
The End
Adapted by Joshua Prenosil and David Blakesley from The Thomson
Handbook by David Blakesley and Jeffrey L. Hoogeveen
Brought to you in cooperation with the Purdue Online Writing Lab
For More Information
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