Transcript Document

The Paramedic Method
Dr. David Blakesley
Professor of English, Purdue
The Problem
How can two sentences that say virtually the
same thing communicate differently?
1.
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and
ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the
properties of ternary mixtures for use in concrete
pavements was undertaken and is presented in this
paper. (36 words! FAT! The “Official Style”)
2.
This paper evaluates the effect of Class C fly ash and
ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the
properties of ternary mixtures in concrete pavements.
(26 words! LEAN! “Clear and Readable Style”)
Lard content of sentence 1: 10/36 = 28%
What’s the difference?
The “Official Style” (Sentence 1) uses . . .
1) Lots of prepositions and prepositional phrases
2) “To be” verbs
3)
Nominalizations
4)
The passive voice
5)
A long ‘wind-up’ or introductory phrase
What Is the Paramedic Method?
Developed by Richard Lanham, the
paramedic method is a set of clear steps for
analyzing and revising wordy sentences.
Writers use the paramedic method to
improve clarity and readability so that their
meaning is communicated concisely and
effectively.
Paramedic Method Step 1
1.Underline the prepositional phrases* in
the sentence.
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and
ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on
the properties of ternary mixtures for use in
concrete pavements is presented in this paper.
* Prepositions are words that indicate relationships between nouns
and pronouns. Words like at, in, on, of, to, about, around, below,
above, from, into, near, since, through, against, after, and outside are
prepositions.
Paramedic Step 2
2. Circle the ‘to be’* verbs.
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly
ash and ground granulated blast furnace
slag (GGBFS) on the properties of ternary
mixtures for use in concrete pavements
was undertaken and is presented in this
paper.
* “To be” verbs are conjugations of “to be”: am, is, are, was, were
Paramedic Step 3
3. Put a box around nominalizations* and
(thus) identify the primary action.
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly
ash and ground granulated blast furnace
slag (GGBFS) on the properties of ternary
mixtures for use in concrete pavements
was undertaken and is presented in this
paper.
* Nominalizations are nouns that used to be verbs or
adjectives, such as evaluation (n) for evaluated (v)
Paramedic Step 4
4. Write the nominalization/primary action as
a simple verb.
An evaluation…
becomes
evaluate or evaluates
Paramedic Step 5
5. Ask, “Who or what performs the action?”
Then write the new base clause with the
agent in the subject position. Use the
simple verb form from step 4.
…for use in concrete pavements is
presented in this paper.
This paper evaluates…
agent
action
agent
Paramedic Steps 6 and 7
6. Keep the base clause near the beginning
of the sentence, if possible.
7. Eliminate unnecessary words and
phrases.
The Final Product
Original
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground
granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties
of ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements was
undertaken and is presented in this paper.
Revised
This paper evaluates the effect of Class C fly ash and
ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the
properties of ternary mixtures in concrete pavements.
Sample for Practice
Original
From the beginning, the writing of this research article was
marked by reluctance.
Revised
I wrote the research article reluctantly.
Sample for Practice
Original
As a means of providing scientists with appropriate tertiary
data, the conference is intended to serve as a
communication medium for everyone involved.
Revised
The conference will provide scientists with appropriate
tertiary data and a way to share their research.
Sample for Practice
Original
It was decided that the committee for road improvement
would cease their activity for the term by the managers.
Revised
The managers decided that the committee for road
improvement would cease activity for the term.
Sample for Practice
Original
After the process of mixing the chemicals, cooking the
substances at an appropriate temperature, filtering the
remaining silt, and pouring them into the moulds, the
brackets are ready to be used.
Revised
The brackets are ready for use after the chemicals are
mixed, cooked, filtered, and fit into the moulds.
Adapted by Joshua Prenosil and David
Blakesley from The Thomson
Handbook by David Blakesley and
Jeffrey L. Hoogeveen
For More Information
• Contact the Purdue Writing Lab:
– Drop In: Heavilon 226
– Call: 765-494-3723
– Email: [email protected]
– On the web: http://owl.english.purdue.edu