Transcript Writing Skills-

Writing Skills--”done”
--Avoid using the verb “Done”. Choose a better,
more accurate verb. Rewrite the sentence
eliminating “done” or “do”
1. I have done well on my test.
2. I do wrestling.
3. Sam does many activities and does badly at
them all.
4. He’s not doing so well writing the paper.
5. My left hand has been doing involuntary
movements.
Writing Skills--Avoid “this”
Whenever possible, avoid the word “This.” It is non-descriptive and can lead to
confusion if the meaning of “this” is not clear. Rewrite the following while
avoiding using the word “this.” You may need to do more than replace the
word.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Smoking is the number one cause of cancer. This is
why we need to make people quit smoking.
Many things plague teenagers during adolescence and
this and other things make it difficult to survive this time.
People all over the world are giving money to support
Haiti. This is why many people are donating money to
other causes.
Physicians are beginning to find cures for illnesses and
also for patients’ habits that have long-term health
implications. This is definite progress.
Writing Skills- PRONOUNS and
ANTECEDENTS
Pronouns are words that replace specific nouns (he, she, it, this, someone, this,
etc). The antecedent is the word the pronoun refers to. In your writing
you need to make sure that your antecedents are clear.
DIRECTIONS--identify the pronouns and antecedents below.
1. The car has a leak in its transmission.
2. Someone from the circus led the injured horse out of
the ring.
3. The hostages have been free for months, but some
have not yet recovered from the experience.
4. During winter snowstorms, the sparrows depend on
our feeder for their food.
5. The audience applauded her performance.
Writing Skills--Gender
When referring to a singular person, use the pronoun he, she, or if
talking in the abstract use he/she NOT they.
Correct the sentences below. When referring to a woman call her
she or her and a man is he or him. Rewrite below assuming
you don’ t know the gender.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
If a person like that feels bad then they should apologize.
A student failed the test, and they need to retake it.
When the future president takes over they will have a lot of
money to work with.
Our mailcarrier has his work cut out for him today.
Whichever nurse we see, she will be happy with progress.
Writing Skills--Comma Splices
A “Comma Splice” is basically a teacher’s term for a comma
error, usually when a comma is used unnecessarily or
when a period or semi-colon should have been used
instead. Write the examples below & then fix them.
Ex--This computer doesn't make sense to me, it came without a
manual.
Ex--This next chapter has a lot of difficult information in it, you
should start studying right away.
Ex--Mr. Nguyen has sent his four children to ivy-league
colleges, however, he has sacrificed his health working day
and night in that dusty bakery.
Writing adverbs “ly”
When using an adverb often it should end in “ly” however
many people leave this suffix off which is incorrect.
INCORRECT--My lips hurt real bad.
CORRECT--My lips hurt really badly.
Fix the following sentences.
1. I feel real good today.
2. He plays real athletic in the football games.
3. My sister sings bad in church.
4. At school, I get poor grades because I study bad.
5. This computer runs slow
6. He dances stupid and awkward.really badly.
Rewrite the following sentences
•
•
•
•
•
She thinks positive.
She does things correct.
The trial went quick.
He done real good on his test.
Me and my mom went shopping this
weekend.
• I do writing good.
Writing Skills--Parallellism #1
PARALLELLISM is using the same pattern of words to show that two or more
ideas have the same level of importance.
Examples of parallel structure: (write examples down)
--Mary
likes hiking, swimming, and bicycling.
--Mary likes to hike, to swim, and to ride a bicycle.
--Mary likes to hike, swim, and ride a bicycle.
Non-examples of parallel structure.
Mary likes to hike, to swim, and riding a bike
Mary likes to hike, swim, and to ride a bike.
Examples of parallel and nonparallel structures #2
• Not Parallel:
• The production manager was asked to write
his report quickly, accurately, and in a
detailed manner.
• Parallel:
• The production manager was asked to write
his report quickly, accurately, and thoroughly.
Examples of parallel and nonparallel structures #3
Not Parallel:
The teacher said that he was a poor student because
he waited until the last minute to study for the exam,
completed his lab problems in a careless manner,
and his motivation was low. (not in past tense-ed)
Parallel:
The teacher said that he was a poor student because
he waited until the last minute to study for the exam,
completed his lab problems in a careless manner,
and lacked motivation.
Examples of parallel and
non-parallel structures # 4
Make the following non-parallel sentences parallel to make them
more clear, more fluent, and more poetic. You may change words
1. Make the sentences clearer, flow better, and sound
better.
2. Bethany enjoys baking cakes, cookies, and to making
brownies.
3. She doesn’t like washing clothes or doing housework.
4. The British Museum is a wonderful place to see ancient
Egyptian art, you can explore African artifacts, and
beautiful find textiles from around the world.
Make the list Parallel
(Begin with a verb or adjective or noun)
16 GOALS FOR SUCCESS
• 1) Commitment
• 2) Unity - Come Together As
Never Before
• 3) Be Tough
• 4) Great Effort
• 5) Never Give Up
• 6) Refuse To Allow Failing
To Become A Habit
• 7) Expect To Win
• 8) Leadership
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•
•
•
•
•
•
•
9) Improve Every Day
10) Self-Discipline - Do It
Right And Don't Accept Less
11) Eliminate Mistakes - Don't
Beat Yourself
12) No Self-Limitations Expect More Of Yourself
13) Consistency
14) Responsibility
15) Unselfishness
16) Enthusiasm
Writing Skills--Placing Modifiers
A modifier is a word or a phrase that describes
something else. You should place it as close as
possible to what it describes. If you don't, your
intended meaning may not be clear. Consider the
unintentional meanings in the following:
•
•
The young girl was walking the dog in a short skirt.
The dog was chasing the boy with the spiked collar.
CORRECT
• The young girl in a short skirt was walking the dog.
• The dog with the spiked collar was chasing the boy.
Writing Skills--Placing Modifiers 2
You also need to watch the placement of modifiers such
as almost, even, hardly, nearly, often, and only. A
couple of examples should be enough:
1. Big Dog almost ran around the yard twenty times.
2. He nearly ate a whole box of treats.
In both sentences--when he "almost ran" and "nearly
ate"--nothing happened! He didn't quite get around
to doing either thing. What is intended is:
1. Big Dog ran around the yard almost twenty times.
2. He ate nearly a whole box of treats.
Writing Skills--Placing Modifiers 2
Write what the following sentences mean to see how misplacing a
modifier can change the meaning of the sentence.
1. I almost failed every art class I took.
2. I failed almost every art class I took.
3. Rolling down the hill, Twiggy was frightened that the
rocks would land on the campsite.
4. Rolling down the hill, the rocks threatened the
campsite and frightened Twiggy.”
5. Covered in wildflowers, the aardvark pondered the
hillside's beauty.
Writing Skills--Placing Modifiers 3
Rewrite the following sentences so the modifiers are in
the correct place.
1. On her way home, Jan found a gold man’s
watch
2. The kid ate a cold dish of cereal this morning
3. One morning I shot an elephant in my
pajamas.
4. The only employee was a pleasant young
woman with a nose ring named Rebecca.
Writing Skills--Placing Modifiers 3
Fix the following text from a Jan 6, 2012 Capital
Journal story so the sentence makes more
sense and is more readable.
“On Friday, The Topeka Capital-Journal learned
that a burning 2004 Cadillac DeVille found
hours after Hudson Crossing developer Corey
Brown disappeared Tuesday evening belongs
to Monroe Lockhart, who owns Mo’s Express
convenience store in Hudson Crossing.”
Rewrite and Fix the following
sentences (parallelism, modifiers, poor
verbs, antecedents)
1. My brother and cousin both are runners, but
he is faster than my brother.
2. The test is required with blood to do the
diagnosis for the disease.
3. When the disease worsens symptoms could
be muscle spasms, sensitivity to heat, fatigue
extremely, and changes in one’s thinking.
Writing Skills--Quiz
Fix the following sentences.
1. The pharmacist added chemical A, B, and
measured the Ph in C.
2. In that long ago era, children worked eighteen
hours a day, eat almost nothing, and sleep in
back alleys.
3. The patient was referred to a psychologist
with several emotional problems.
4. Sam found a letter in the mailbox that doesn't
belong to her.
Writing Skills--Active vs. Passive
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/active-voice-versus-passive-voice.aspx
A Passive Sentence is a sentence that uses a passive verb.
PASSIVE VERBS include any form of “be”: be, is, am, was, been.
ACTIVE VERBS show action: run, jump, swim, love, hate, etc
Circle the passive verbs in the following sentences.
1. Amy is loved by Dan
2. Toys are made by China to sell in the USA.
3. Shots were fired.
4. Mistakes were made.
5. I am holding a pen
Writing Skills--Active vs. Passive
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/active-voice-versus-passive-voice.aspx
Passive Voice should be avoided because it makes your sentences
Weaker by not taking responsibility for the action. For example,
Nixon said, “Mistakes were made.” By stating in passive voice,
WHO made the mistake is not clear.
Passive Voice is also bad because it sounds weak because the
Verb “be” is weak
Choose stronger, active verbs, to improve word choice and to
Make your meaning stronger.
PASSIVE: The student is told to be quite by the teacher.
ACTIVE: The teacher told the student to be quite.
Writing Skills--Active vs. Passive
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/active-voice-versus-passive-voice.aspx
Rewrite the following sentences so they’re
in ACTIVE voice.
1. Amy is loved by Dan
2. Toys are made by China to sell in the USA.
3. Shots were fired.
4. Mistakes were made.
5. I am holding a pen.
Writing Skills--How to Quote
A quote indicates that those words are exactly what came out of a
person’s mouth.
1.
2.
Put quotations around those words.
Put a comma before or after the tag.
1.
2.
3.
4.
3.
4.
Dan said, “You’re getting loud, Ray.”
“You’re getting loud, Ray,” Dan said.
“You’re getting loud, Ray!” Dan said.
“Ray,” Dan said, “You’re getting loud.”
Period at the end of the sentence.
Quotes over 4 lines, need to be indented 10 spaces for the
entirety of the quote.
Writing Skills--How to Quote
Rewrite the following quotes so they are grammatically correct.
Also add the necessary apostrophies.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Gary Coleman is famous for saying what you talkin bout
Willis?
What you talkin bout Willis? was Gary Colemans famous
catchphrase.
When skipping class Brandi expounded make sure your
friends don’t know.
What she yelled is wrong with you?
Writing Skills--How to Quote
Rewrite the following long quote so that it is correct. Just the quote itself should
be indented.
According to Bill Self before the first KU/K-State meeting: in a game like that,
the most aggressive teams usually get the benefit of the officiating. That’s the
way it always works. Everybody thinks that the least aggressive teams don’t
foul. No, the least aggressive teams foul the most. The most aggressive teams
usually at the end of the day feel like they got a pretty good whistle. Self went
on to say that that’s the way the game is called.
Writing Skills--How to Quote
Rewrite the following long quote so that it is correct. Just the quote itself should
be indented.
According to Bill Self before the first KU/K-State meeting:
In a game like that, the most aggressive teams usually get the benefit of
the officiating. That’s the way it always works. Everybody thinks that the
least aggressive teams don’t foul. No, the least aggressive teams foul the
most. The most aggressive teams usually at the end of the day feel like
they got a pretty good whistle.
Self went on to say that that’s the way the game is called.
Writing Skills--How to Quote
1. When quoting a person who is quoting another use single quotes
2. When you need to change a quote so the sentence makes sense, place the changed
word or words in brackets
EX--According to the people at the rally, “[Fred Phelps] should be silenced.”
--in this instance the exact quote would have been “HE should be silenced,” but using
“he” would be confusing so we change the word and put it in brackets.
FIX THE FOLLOWING
1. Connor said, Mr. Robinson said dirty 20 times in class.
2. Katie said, Ms. Brooks you won’t believe it but my mom said
you’re not going to that school anymore.
3. Katie said my mom said I’m not coming to school anymore.
(think about what the exact words from the mom would be)
Writing Skills--Transitions
TRANSITIONS are words that help sentences flow from one
to another. A good transition will show the relationship
between one sentence and another.
TRANSITIONS--can also be words and sentences that help
one paragraph flow into another. A good transition will show
how the topic of one paragraph relates to the next one.
Writing Skills--Sample
Transitions
Words to COMPARE
Similarly, likewise, like, also,
as, in the same way
Words to CONTRAST
Although, even though,
On the other hand, still, but
otherwise, yet
EMPHASIZE A POINT
Again, in fact, to repeat, for
this reason, to emphasize,
truly
Words to CONCLUDE
All in all, finally, in summary,
therefore, as a result,
Words to ADD INFORMATION
Additionally, equally important,
in addition, again, likewise,
along with, as well, moreover
For example, besides, 4instance
Words to CLARIFY
For instance, in other words,
put another way, that is
Writing Skills--use transitions
from yesterday to rewrite and
make sentences better.
1. Her new car cost her $10,000. $10,000 is what she
makes in 4 years. (CLARIFY)
2. Her new car cost her $50,000. $50,000 is more than
some people pay for a house! (EMPHASIZE)
3. My first car cost $1000. My new one cost $30,000.
(CONTRAST)
4. He found his car in an ad in the newspaper. I found my
car in a newspaper ad. (COMPARE)
5. Buying a car can be a stressful. Buying a car is fun.
(SUMMARIZING).
WRITING SKILLS-EDITING
Use transitions and reorganize this paragraph to make
it more coherent, less choppy, grammatically correct &
easier to read.
The book Cursed is about a girl named Judy who lived in a
family of 7 children. Her dad beat their mom and was an
alcoholic. She was raised in a Mormon family. She wasn’t
sure if she wanted to be a Mormon or not. She met a boy
named Derek. She began to drink and do things against
Mormon Rules. Her dad was fed up with everything she
had been doing. He forced her to move in with her aunt
that lived out in the country.
WRITING SKILLS-EDITING
Use transitions and reorganize this paragraph to make
it more coherent, less choppy, grammatically correct &
easier to read.
The book Cursed is about a girl named Judy who lived in a
Mormon family of seven children. She wasn’t sure if she
wanted to be a Mormon or not because ______. Her
alcoholic dad beat their mom and was an alcoholic. She was raised in a
Mormon family. Transition Word/Soon, she meets a boy named
Derek. She began to drink and do things against Mormon
rules. Transition Word/ Because of her behavior Her dad
was fed up with everything she had been doing and
consequently he forced her to move in with her aunt that
lived out in the country.
Writing Skills--Generalizations
vs. Specifics
When writing avoid making over generalizations such as :
--“All people can agree that people are strange.”
--“Everyone has met a person who is truly evil.”
--“Stats show that most people are in favor of monkey fighting.”
-- “In a time of crisis, every American supports his/her president”
The problem is that there will be exceptions to these rules and
when they disagree with your overgeneralization then your
argument then has no weight and you lose your reader.
Statements that make sweeping generalizations tend to
exaggerate and oversimplify reality, ignoring important details
Writing Skills--Generalizations
vs. Specifics
TO FIX--use less general words like “most,” “many,” “in many
cases,”
TO FIX--be more specific by using facts and statistics
Fix the following overgeneralized statements.
--“All people can agree that people are strange.”
--“Everyone has met a person who is truly evil.”
--“Stats show that most people are in favor of monkey fighting.”
-- “In a time of crisis, every American supports his/her president”
Writing Skills--Prepositions
Prepositional Phrases
Prepositions are words that show relationships.
Of, in, around, inside, at, out, over, through, under, etc…
The phrase is the thought that follows the phrase
EX--In the book, Holly is elegant.
A. Having too many prepositions in a sentence can
make the sentence unclear, cumbersome, and difficult
to read
B. When you begin a sentence with a prepositional
phrase, it should be followed by a comma.
Writing Skills--Prepositions
Prepositional Phrases
Circle the prepositions and underline the prepositional
phrases in the sentences below.
1. I can’t complete the report without the information
2. Upon my arrival I was whisked into a secret chamber
3. Come into the garden with me.
4. She wanted to go to the movies
5. The stories in that book were translated by my
professor.
6. She was looking for a man with money.
Rewrite the following sentences
• Yesterday I had the fortune to attend our
Career Cats luncheon. Over 35 Wildcat
student-athletes came in their business attire
to do practice interviews with nearly 30
companies. Immediately before the luncheon
I hosted an online chat which you can read at
www.kstatesports.com. In addition to the
topics covered yesterday here are some
other items I want to share with you.(from a
real email received yesterday)
Edit this paragraph and offer
suggestions to the author
• The book, ___, is a journey in the eyes of a group of
German soldiers and their lovers back home. It is a
journey of an adulteress who can’t seem to find
herself in her own selfish world. It is a Romeo and
Julie story portraying noting, not even the Fuhrer him
self can not stop true love from getting what it wants.
It is a journey of how loyalty to your coutry, friends,
and family holds great rewards, and with it, great
consequences. The story of Peter is truly one of
truth, yet, is not solely based on fact.
Edit this paragraph and offer
suggestions to the author
• The book ends on a note that I found a little typical
but original. The ending was one of sorrow, death,
pain, and the end. The end of the book consisted of
one other thing through hope. Just like the story of
Pandora and the box of evils. Peter and Hans are in
a truck, speeding down a road to get out of
Stalingrad. The Russian radio tower notices a truck
full of German soldiers in it and orders an airstrike on
the area. The Airstrike was successful and blew the
truck of the oad and threw the soldiers, including
Peter and Hans, out of the truck and onto the ground.
Writing Skills--Rewrite these
Bad Sentences
1. He is given orders to relax. But when Mr. D offers
to take Alex around the world Alex cant’ resist.
But he is given tools to…
2. She is at her boyfriend’s house who is a vampire
3. Edward soon knows cause he can read minds.
Writing Skills--Rewrite these
Bad Sentences
4. The room starts shaking and the ceiling collapses he
grabs items and runs.
5. The butcher made a comment about her that was
derogatory.
6. Even though he was clean, his dad was not
pleased and he still punished him
7. They are two people that are very much in love
Writing Skills--Rewrite these
Bad Sentences
8. Yet its all fact.
9. He was a widower that lived in the mts.
10. Jacobs friends show up.
11. They gave their best pilot to the project
who was Joe Kennedy Jr., the
ambassador’s son.
12. The students parents are overtaking the gym.
Edit these bad sentences
• Current estimates are the state will end
it’s current fiscal year with a cash
balance of $351 million. (TCJ
1/12/2012)
• The patrol said none of the injured
teens was wearing a seatbelt.
(TCJ1/12/2012)
Edit these bad sentences
• For the better part of my life; I purposely
avoided a lot of foods. Especially ones
with even a tiny bit of seasoning. (TCJ
Ad 1/12/2012
• I felt great, until about one year ago;
when I read an FDA warning that
scared the heck out of me. (TCJ Ad
1/12/2012
Edit these bad sentences
(In a story about the KU basketball team)
• “An opportunity was presented Monday
to gauge what was flubbed and what
was aced in preseason polling. Or so it
seemed.”
“We shot the ball terribly, we played
selfish, we played soft and we didn’t
play smart,” KU coach Bill Self said.
Misplaced & Dangling
Modifiers
• Delightfully cooked by his
father, Clinton loves peas.
• After paying for the books, the
salesman gave me a calendar as a free
compliment.
• Even after being dead for 150 yeas,
many people still admire the music of
Beethoven.
Dangling Modifiers
• Before shifting the hospitals from the
present location, the public must be
consulted.
• Using the Doppler ultrasound device,
fatal heartbeats can be detected by the
twelfth week of pregnancy.
• A nursemaid is wanted to look after a
baby about twenty-years old.
Word Order
• After the accident, I was for thirty days
confined to the cot with swollen legs.
• During your trip to Delhi, You must not
forget to visit the spot where Gandhi
was assassinated.
• Promotions, retirements, deaths and
other actions approved by the board of
directors at its May meeting will be
reported in the July issue of the
company paper.
Pronouns—make sure the
pronouns match the subject
• I have studied well for ACT and it has
given me the confidence that I will score
more than 27.
• If one looks at the clear sky away from
the glare of the city, he can see not less
that 3000 stars with his naked eyes.