Transcript BRUSHSTROKES fall 2009

BRUSH
STROKES
From Image
Grammar by
Harry R.
Noden
Compiled by:
Rebecca
Meuse Glass
RESEARCH
“Students often see revision, not as an
opportunity to develop and improve a piece of
writing, but as an indication that they have failed
to do it right the first time.”
- Donald M. Murray
“Even high school students admit to little or no
experience in revision. At best, they may recopy
a paper.”
-Robert L. Hillerich
“Quick revising is a revision method for when the
results don’t matter too much. It may be used for
a clean draft for yourself, a possible draft for
discussion, or a letter to a friend.”
- Peter Elbow
“Thorough Revising involves time, allowing the
writer to visit and revisit the work, to be allowed
to view the writing with fresh perspectives.”
- Peter Elbow
“The writer is an artist, painting images of life
with specific and identifiable brush strokes.”
-Harry Noden
“He began to see grammar as the process of
creating art, it seemed unnatural to him not to
view grammar as a continuous spectrum in a
whole work.”
-Harry Noden
“Pictures are not made of flowers, guitars, people,
surf or turf, but with irreducible elements of art:
shapes, tones, directions, sizes, lines, textures, and
color.”
- Frank Webb
“Writing is not constructed merely from
experiences, information, characters, plots, but
from fundamental artistic elements of grammar.”
- Harry Noden
ACTION VERBS
Go from passive voice to
active voice by deleting
the “BE” verbs.
EXAMPLES
ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The
runaway horse was ridden
into town by an old, whitewhiskered rancher.
NEW SENTENCE: An old,
white whiskered rancher rode
the runaway horse into town.
ANOTHER EXAMPLE
ORIGINAL SENTENCE:
I went home to see what was
happening.
NEW SENTENCE:
I raced home to see what was
happening.
ANOTHER EXAMPLE
ORIGINAL SENTENCE:
The students went out of the school
building at the end of the day.
NEW SENTENCE:
The students dashed and scrambled
out of the building at the end of the day.
ANOTHER EXAMPLE
ORIGINAL SENTENCE:
The gravel road was on the left side
of the barn.
NEW SENTENCE:
The gravel road curled around the
left side of the barn.
ANOTHER EXAMPLE
ORIGINAL SENTENCE: A snake is
a slithering creature.
NEW SENTENCE: The creepy long
snake slithered through the tall
grass.
GUIDED PRACTICE
PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES
The motorbike drove down the street.
PAINTING WITH
PARTICIPLES
Imagine a football player
running down a field: The
football player darted down the
field.
Try adding an –ing verb at the
beginning of the sentence.
EXAMPLES:
ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The football
player darted down the field.
NEW SENTENCE: Dodging the
tackle and weaving through the
defense, the football player darted
down the field.
DEFINITION
PARTICIPLE = A form of a verb that functions
as an adjective
Examples – the laughing boy
- the baked beans
DEFINITION
PARTICIPLE= A form of a verb that functions as
an adjective
Examples – the laughing boy
- the baked beans
Sitting at her desk, Jane read the
letter carefully.
DEFINITION
PARTICIPLE= A form of a verb that functions as
an adjective
Examples – the laughing boy
- the baked beans
Sitting at her desk, Jane read the
letter carefully.
EXAMPLES
PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES
Hissing and slithering, the rattlesnake
moved swiftly through the tall grass.
EXAMPLES
PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES
Hissing and slithering, the rattlesnake
moved swiftly through the tall grass.
EXAMPLES
PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES
Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder
and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the
ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than
a minute, watching the blood trail away and the
steady movement of the water against his hand as
the boat moved.
- Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
EXAMPLES
PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES
Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder
and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the
ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than
a minute, watching the blood trail away and the
steady movement of the water against his hand as
the boat moved.
- Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
EXAMPLES
PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES
Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder
and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the
ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than
a minute, watching the blood trail away and the
steady movement of the water against his hand as
the boat moved.
- Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
EXAMPLES
PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES
Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder
and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the
ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than
a minute, watching the blood trail away and the
steady movement of the water against his hand as
the boat moved.
- Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
EXAMPLES
PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES
The clown, appearing bright and cheerful,
smiled and did his act with unusual
certainty for someone who had just killed
a man.
- Christi F.
EXAMPLES
PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES
The clown, appearing bright and cheerful,
smiled and did his act with unusual
certainty for someone who had just killed
a man.
- Christi F.
EXAMPLES
PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES
The rhino, caught in the tangled rope,
looked for freedom.
- Erika S.
EXAMPLES
PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES
The rhino, caught in the tangled rope,
looked for freedom.
- Erika S.
GUIDED PRACTICE
PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES
The motorbike drove down the street.
BEGINNING PREPOSITIONAL
PHRASES
ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The girl
waved good-bye to her mother’s
plane.
NEW SENTENCE: With tears in
her eyes, the girl waved good-bye
to her mother’s plane.
GUIDED PRACTICE
PAINT WITH BEGINNING PREPOSITIONAL
PHRASES:
EXAMPLE: Through the tall yellow grass,
the creepy snake slithered.
______________________________
STUDENTS’ INITIAL SENTENCE:
A motorbike drove down the street.
STUDENTS’ EXAMPLE:
___________________________________
___________________________________
PAINTING WITH SHIFTED
ADJECTIVES
Adjectives out of order often
amplify the details of an
image.
Professional writers often
shift their adjectives rather
than add them before a noun.
EXAMPLES OF SHIFTED
ADJECTIVES
ORIGINAL SENTENCE:
The usually active and energetic
young boy struggled to reach the third
floor landing.
Usually active and energetic, the
young boy struggled to reach the third
floor landing.
MORE EXAMPLES
ORIGINAL SENTENCE:
The trembling and frightened young
pup scooted under the bed during the
thunderstorm.
NEW SENTENCE:
Trembling and frightened, the young
pup scooted under the bed during the
thunderstorm.
GUIDED PRACTICE
PAINTING WITH SHIFTED
ADJECTIVES
EXAMPLE: Creepy and slimy, the
greenish black snake slithered
through the tall grass.
_____________________________________________________________
STUDENTS’ INITIAL SENTENCE:
The motorbike drove down the street.
EXAMPLE:
_____________________________
_____________________________
IN YOUR NOTEBOOK - PLEASE ADD THIS
DEFINITION TO THE “LESSONS” SECTION
BRUSHSTROKE #4 - PAINTING
WITH APPOSITIVES
APPOSITIVE = a noun phrase
that adds additional information
to a preceding noun. It usually
“renames” the original noun.
An appositive phrase usually follows the
word it explains or identifies, but
it may also precede it.
EXAMPLES OF
APPOSITIVES
ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The raft
drifted slowly down the
winding river.
EXAMPLES OF
APPOSITIVES
ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The raft
drifted slowly down the
winding river.
NEW SENTENCE: The raft, a
skimpy wooden structure, drifted
slowly down the winding river.
MORE EXAMPLES
ORIGINAL SENTENCE:
The waterfall poured the fresh
pure spray into the creek.
MORE EXAMPLES
ORIGINAL SENTENCE:
The waterfall poured the fresh
pure spray into the creek.
NEW SENTENCE:
The waterfall, a tilted pitcher,
poured the fresh, pure spray into
the creek.
PAINTING WITH APPOSITIVES
The motorbike drove down the street.
EXAMPLE:
________________________________
________________________________
PUNCTUATING APPOSITIVES
Set the appositive phrase off with commas
 parenthetical phrases
i.e. ( ) = ,------,
These are often interrupters – treat them
as such  they can be removed
WITHOUT changing the meaning of the
sentence
PUNCTUATING APPOSITIVES
Set the appositive phrase off with commas
 parenthetical phrases
i.e. ( ) = ,------,
These are often interrupters – treat them
as such  they can be removed
WITHOUT changing the meaning of the
sentence
QUIZ TUESDAY
You should know:
 Clauses v. phrases
 Independent/dependent/main clauses
 Punctuating introductory phrases/clauses
 Participle/prepositional/appositive phrases
 Punctuating interrupters
 Punctuating main clauses (ie
commas+conjunctions, semi-colons, etc.)
PAINTING WITH
THE ABSOLUTE
An absolute is a noun
combined with an –ing
verb at the beginning of
the sentence.
EXAMPLES
ORIGINAL SENTENCE:
The dog yawned silently.
NEW SENTENCE:
Paws curling, back stretching, the
dog yawned silently.
GUIDED PRACTICE
PAINTING WITH ABSOLUTES
EXAMPLE: Head rising, body
slithering, the snake threatened the
rat.
___________________________________________________________
STUDENTS’ INITIAL SENTENCE:
The motorbike drove down the street.
EXAMPLE:______________________
______________________________
______________________________
Brush Strokes Review
Action Verbs: Go from passive voice to active
voice be replacing the “Be” verbs.
Beginning Prepositional Phrases: The girl
waved can change to, With tears in her eyes, the
girl…
Painting with Participles: Add an ing verb at
the beginning of the sentence
The football player darted can change to, Dodging
the tackle and weaving through their defense, the
football player….
Shifted Adjectives: The usually active and
energetic young boy can be changed to Usually
active and energetic, the young boy….
Painting with Appositives: a noun that adds
additional information
The raft drifted can be changed to The raft, a skimpy
wooden structure….
Painting with the Absolute: a noun combines
with an -ing verb at the beginning of a sentence
The dog yawned can be changed to Paws curling,
back stretching, the dog….
REFERENCES
Elbow, Peter (1981). Writing With Power. N.Y.:
Oxford University Press.
Hillerich, Robert L. Teaching Children to Write, K-8.
Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice Hall, Inc.
Murray, Donald M. (1995). The Craft of Revision.
2nd ed. NY: Harcourt Brace College Publishers.
Noden, Harry. “The Writer As Artist: Basic Brush
Strokes.” Image Grammar. Heineman
Publishing, New Hampshire, 1999.