Transcript Document
Welcome to Effective Writing 2, Seminar 9 • We will begin on time. • Meanwhile, enjoy chatting. Transitions Instead of this: We are of the opinion that We think Please Also Now Although Transitions Use this: Please feel free to In addition to the above At this point in time Despite the fact that . Wordy Prepositional Phrases Instead of this: We don’t as a general rule cash personal checks. Students in very few instances receive parking tickets. She calls meetings on a monthly basis. Try this: We don’t generally cash personal checks. Students seldom receive parking tickets.S She calls monthly meetings. Long Lead-Ins Instead of this: This memo is to inform you that all employees meet today. I am writing this letter to say thanks to everyone who voted. Try this: All employees meet today. Thanks to everyone who voted. Outdated Expressions Outdated: as per your request pursuant to your request attached hereunto under separate cover Modern: at your request at your request attached separately Needless Adverbs To sound more credible and to streamline your writing, avoid excessive use of adverbs such as definitely, quite, really, actually, and so forth. Instead of this: The manager is actually quite pleased with your proposal because the plan is definitely workable. Try this: The manager is pleased with your proposal because the plan is workable. Fillers Revise sentences to avoid fillers such as there and it when used merely to take up space. Instead of this: There are two employees who should be promoted. It was Lisa and Jeff who were singled out. Try this: Two employees should be promoted. Lisa and Jeff were singled out Example Let’s revise the following sentence to avoid a long lead-in, wordy prepositional phrases, outdated expressions, needless adverbs, fillers, and/or other forms of wordiness. Give it a try. This e-mail message is to inform you that in all probability we will actually finish in two weeks. My answer We will probably finish in two weeks. Another Example Let’s revise the following sentence to avoid a long lead-in, wordy prepositional phrases, outdated expressions, needless adverbs, fillers, and/or other forms of wordiness. • There are many brokers who are quite certain that these stocks are completely safe. Give it a try. My Answer Many brokers are certain that these stocks are safe. Redundant Words Avoid unnecessarily repetitious words. What words could be omitted in these expressions? Give it a try. advance warning close proximity exactly identical filled to capacity final outcome necessary requisite new beginning past history refer back thought and consideration Jargon Avoid technical terms and special terminology that readers would not recognize. Computer jargon: queue export bandwidth Alternative language: list of documents waiting to be printed transfer data from one program to another Internet capacity Question Is jargo ever permissible when formal paper writing? Clichés Avoid clichés (overused expressions). Substitute more precise words. Last but not least, you should keep your nose to the grindstone. We had reached the end of our rope. Rewrite: Finally, you should work diligently. We could go no further Example Let’s revise the following sentence to avoid slang, clichés, and redundancies. • Last but not least, the attorney referred back to an exactly identical case. Give it a try. My answer Finally, the attorney referred to an identical case Precise Verbs Revise your writing to include precise verbs instead of general, lackluster, all-purpose ones. Market researchers said that profits would improve. What more precise verbs could replace said? Market researchers forecasted improved profits. Market researchers promised improved profits. Market researchers predicted improved profits. Precise Verbs Revise verbs that have been converted to nouns. The manager came to the realization that telecommuting made sense. The manager realized that telecommuting made sense. An application must be made by the job seeker. The job seeker must apply. Example Revise the following sentence using more precise verbs. • The seller said he would contact you. My answer The seller promised to e-mail [telephone or fax] you. Question Think of words ending in tion or ment. Could they be more efficiently and forcefully converted to verbs? Example Let’s revise the following sentence centering the action in a verb. My answer We must encourage our team. Concrete Nouns Revise your writing to include specific, concrete nouns instead of general, abstract ones. The man asked for a raise. Jeff Jones asked for a 10 percent salary increase. An employee presented a proposal. Kelly Keeler, production manager, presented a plan to stagger hours. Adjectives Revise your writing to include descriptive, dynamic adjectives instead of overworked, all-purpose ones. The report was good. The report was persuasive (or detailed, original, thorough, painstaking, complete, comprehensive). The report was bad. (Possible revisions?) Please tell me. Final Question What are your concerns and questions about your final paper?