Transcript Painting with Words - Parkway C-2

Painting with Words
Using “Brushstrokes” to
Make our Writing Better
What does it mean to paint with
words?
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When you read, you visualize what the author
is saying.
When you write, you must give your reader
enough vivid details so they can visualize your
story.
You can do this in many ways, but one strategy
is to use what we call “brushstrokes.”
Brushstrokes are techniques that evoke some
sort of image for your reader.
Brushstroke One
Before: The diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.
After: Hissing their forked red tongues and coiling their
cold bodies, the diamond-scaled snakes attacked their
prey.
What does the brushstroke add to the image?
Another Example…
Flying through the air
on the wings of a
dream, the Olympic
long jumper thrust the
weight of his whole
body forward.
What does the brushstroke add to the image?
What do you notice about the structure
and form of this brushstroke?
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-ing verb
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Hissing their forked red tongues
Coiling their cold bodies
Flying through the air
These evoke action—your words come alive!
When you have just one you create a rapid
movement.
When you have more than one you add detail
at a slower pace.
Some Examples:
Stretching its arms
andrelaxed
extending
into the air, the
Theout
ape
in its
thelegs
straw.
ape relaxed in the straw.
Burning rubber, the race car peeled out.
Now You Try!
Official Name of this
Brushstroke?
Participle
Brushstroke Two
Close Your Eyes
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Imagine the following sentence:
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Now change what you’re picturing in
your head as I change the sentence.
• A mountain climber edged along the cliff.
• The mountain climber edged along the cliff,
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hands shaking and knees trembling.
Hands shaking and knees trembling, the
mountain climber edged along the cliff.
What was that like for you?
Brushstroke Two
The cat climbed the tree.
Claws digging,
feet kicking, the
cat climbed the
tree.
The diver peered at the
animal.
Mind racing, anxiety
overtaking, the diver
peered once more at
the animal.
What do you notice about the
structure and form of this
brushstroke?
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Noun + -ing or –ed verb
• Claws digging
• Feet kicking
• Mind racing
• Anxiety overtaking
• Hands bloodstained, the murderer went to
prison.
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Provides quick details that describe the
subject.
Now you try!
Official Name for This
Brushstroke?
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Absolute
Brushstroke Three
The raccoon enjoys eating turtle eggs.
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The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys eating
turtle eggs.
The raccoon, a midnight scavenger who
roams lake shorelines in search of food,
enjoys eating turtle eggs.
What does the brushstroke add to the image?
The volcano spewed forth lava
and ash across the mountains.
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The volcano, a ravenous God of fire,
spewed forth lava and ash across the
mountains.
What does the brushstroke add to the image?
Form and Structure
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A word or phrase that comes in the
middle of a sentence
Has a comma before and after
• The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys eating turtle
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eggs.
The raccoon, a midnight scavenger who roams
lake shorelines, enjoys eating turtle eggs.
This adds detail to evoke an image in
your reader’s head.
Official Name for This
Brushstroke?
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Appositive
Brushstroke Four
When a teacher tells you to “be more
descriptive,” what do you add to
your writing?
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Adjectives?
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Like this?
• The large, red-eyed, angry bull moose
charged the intruder.
What if there was a new rule?
You can’t string more than three
adjectives together.
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Before: The large, red-eyed, angry bull
moose charged the intruder.
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Leave the first adjective where it is and
shift the other adjectives after the noun.
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After: The large bull moose, red-eyed
and angry, charged the intruder.
The large , red-eyed , angry
bull moose
and charged the intruder.
Another Example
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The smiling, old, wrinkled woman looked
upon her grandson with pride.
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The smiling woman, old and wrinkled,
looked upon her grandson with pride.
Structure and Form
,
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Adjective Noun Adjective and Adjective
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The large bull moose
,
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red-eyed and angry
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Official Name of this
Brushstroke?
Adjectives Shifted Out of Order
Brushstroke Five
Is The Verb Active?
The student danced.
The student is a dancer.
The student hid.
The students were hidden.
Before: The gravel road was on
the left side of the barn.
After: The gravel road curled
around the left side of the barn.
Compare & Contrast the
Following:
Rockwell was a beautiful
lake. Canada geese could
be heard across the water
bugling like tuneless
trumpets. Near the shore,
two children were hidden
behind a massive maple
tree. Watching quietly, they
hoped to see the first
gosling begin to hatch. Tiny
giggles escaped their
whispers of excitement.
Rockwell lake echoed with
the sounds of Canada
geese. Their honking
bugled across the water
like tuneless trumpets.
Two children hid behind a
massive maple tree. They
silently watched, hoping to
see the first gosling hatch.
Tiny giggles escaped their
whispers of excitement.
Form and Structure
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Active Verbs are verbs that can be “acted out.”
These do not include any form of the verb “to
be”
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Is
Was
Am
Are
Were
Etc.
How does this brushstroke
create an image?
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This brushstroke creates action!