Transcript Brushstrokes Demonstration Lesson

Introducing the
Five Brushstrokes
Adapted from Harry Noden’s Image Grammar
About Me and My
Classroom
• 9th and 10th Grade in a small charter school
• I used this lesson with a creative writing class
• NWEA MAP Data and Descartes statements make
it so we have to use the technical terms for
concepts in grammar, or the students will likely
show no growth on their end of year tests.
Image Grammar and
Writing Genres
• Scenes and Narratives
• Poetry
• Creative nonfiction, including personal essays
• Noden has suggestions for research papers
Rationale
• Good writers use grammar as a tool
• Complex grammatical concepts can be taught
as tools for creativity
• By studying the tools at their disposal,
students can improve sentence fluency and
variety while also increasing accuracy in their
use of imagery
Support from Research
• Image Grammar by Harry Noden
• “To paint images like these requires an understanding
of image grammar—a rhetoric of writing techniques
that provides writers with artistic grammatical
options.” (Noden 2)
• Mechanically Inclined by Jeff Anderson
• “One principle that undergirds my thinking about
grammar and mechanics is that they are inherently
linked to craft, and by making this link, we alter
students’ perceptions of what grammar and
mechanics do.” (Anderson 10)
Support from Research
Continued
• Looking to Write by Mary Ehrenworth
• “I believe that things happen in children’s writing
when they write through the arts that do not,
perhaps, happen through other ways of teaching
writing. It can be an aesthetic experience, a way to
engage the imagination in peculiarly empathetic
ways.”(Ehrenworth 4)
More on Visual Images
and Writing
• “The writer is an artist, painting images of life with
specific and identifiable brush strokes, images as
realistic as Wyeth and as abstract as Picasso.”
(Noden 1)
• Noden 29
• Image grammar allows students to understand what
we mean when we say “Show, don’t tell” by
providing specific tools to do this.
The Problems with
Adjectives
“Certain types of adjectives paint scenes with
image blanks…Adjectives like beautiful, as in
“the beautiful mountains,” are formless, sending
the reader an opinion instead of a visual image.”
(Noden 33-34)
• Adjective Overload-Noden 34
Core Standards
• L.1 Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English
grammar and usage when writing or speaking.
• L.9-10.1b. Use various types of phrases (noun, verb, adjectival, adverbial,
participial, prepositional, absolute) and clauses (independent,
dependent; noun, relative, adverbial) to convey specific meanings and
add variety and interest to writing or presentations.
• W.3 Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or
events using effective technique, well-chosen details, and wellstructured event sequences.
• W.9-10.3d. Use precise words and phrases, telling details, and sensory
language to convey a vivid picture of the experiences, events, setting,
and/or characters.
• W.10 Write routinely over extended time frames (time for research,
reflection, and revision) and shorter time frames (a single sitting or a
day or two) for a range of tasks, purposes, and audiences.
Descartes Learning
Statements Examples
• Identifies participial phrases in written
compositions
• Identifies appositive phrases in written
compositions
• Defines participial phrase
• Recognizes appropriate use of active verbs
Student Objectives
• Students will be able to use participial phrases,
absolutes, adjectives out of order, appositives, and
active verbs in order to add variety and interest to
their writing for the purpose of conveying vivid
pictures of scenes and images.
• For a regular 43 minute lesson, I would only use one
or two of these objectives.
Why Five?
“Although professionals use an array of complex
structures, students can begin to learn the art of
image grammar by employing five basic
brushstrokes…” (Noden 4)
This is just a beginning. For ideas on how to
teach more grammar through the craft of
writing, see Mechanically Inclined by Jeff
Anderson.
The Five Basic
Brushstrokes
• Painting with Participles
• Painting with Absolutes
• Painting with Appositives
• Painting with Adjectives Out of Order
• Painting with Action Verbs
The Participle
Brushstroke
•An –ing or –ed verb placed at the
beginning or end of a sentence,
connected with a comma
•In a participle, the verb functions as
an adjective
Example:
• “Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the diamondback snake attacked its prey.” (Noden 5)
Image from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rattlesnake
Using a Participial Phrase
• “Participial” phrase is a fancy term for a
phrase that starts with a participle
• “Hissing its forked red tongue and coiling its
cold body, the diamond-back snake attacked
its prey.” (Noden 5)
Analyzing the Technique
• “Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the diamondback snake attacked its prey.” (Noden 5)
• “Hissing its forked red tongue and coiling its
cold body, the diamond-back snake attacked
its prey.” (Noden 5)
• What differences are there between the two
forms of this brushstroke?
Your Turn
Please write two sentences describing this picture:
one that just uses participles and one that uses
participial phrases.
An Artist in Action
• Proof that I’m not making these techniques up:
• “Kat was shoved outside, stumbling into view,
shading her eyes with her small shield against the
summer glare.” –James Rollins, Bloodline, Page 344
The Absolute
Brushstroke
• A noun PLUS an –ing or –ed verb added to a
sentence, connected with a comma or
commas
Example:
“Claws digging, feet kicking,
the cat climbed the tree.”
(Noden 6)
Image from: http://www.about-bigcats.com/big-cat-photo-gallery.php
Analyzing the Technique
• “The cat climbed the tree.” (Noden 6)
• “Claws digging, feet kicking, the cat climbed
the tree.” (Noden 6)
• What does this technique do to the writing?
How does it change things for the reader?
Your Turn
• Examine the image.
Then, describe what
you see using the
Absolute
Brushstroke.
Photo from:
http://www.rockclimbing.com/photos/Sport/
An Artist in Action
“And then I see her, the blood drained from her
face, hands clenched in fists at her sides, walking
with stiff, small steps up toward the stage,
passing me, and I see the back of her blouse has
become untucked and hangs out over her skirt.”
–Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games, Page 21-22
The Appositive
Brushstroke
• A noun that adds a second image to a noun
that comes before it
• Appositives use nouns to modify/change other
nouns
Example
• “The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys eating turtle
eggs.” (Noden 8)
The Appositive Phrase
• An entire phrase containing an appositive that adds
more details than the appositive all by itself
• “The raccoon, a midnight scavenger who roams lake
shorelines in search of food, enjoys eating turtle
eggs.” (Noden 8)
Analyzing the Technique
• “The raccoon enjoys eating turtle eggs.” (Noden 8)
• “The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys eating turtle
eggs.” (Noden 8)
• “The raccoon, a midnight scavenger who roams lake
shorelines in search of food, enjoys eating turtle
eggs.” (Noden 8)
• How does the appositive brushstroke change the
writing? What does it do for the reader?
Your Turn
Using the image below, please write a sentence that
uses the appositive brushstroke. If you’re up for the
challenge, try one with an appositive phrase, too.
Picture from:
http://www.funver.com/images/stories/sport
Abby’s Appositive
• The deer, an alert creature with eyes poised,
stood at the edge of the fores.
An Artist in Action
• “He felt burdened by the names of the
marauder past, the names from which his
name descended in cascades of human
blood…” Salman Rushdie, The Enchantress of
Florence, Page 33
The Adjectives Out of
Order Brushstroke
• When writers shift some of the adjectives
attached to a noun to the end of the noun,
instead of putting them at the beginning.
Example
• “The large bull moose, red-eyed and angry,
charged the intruder.” (Noden 10)
Image from
http://www.wizardlakeoutfitting.com/albertamoose-elk-bowhunts.asp
Analyzing the Technique
• “The large bull moose, red-eyed and angry,
charged the intruder.” (Noden 10)
• “The large, red-eyed, angry bull moose charged
the intruder.” (Noden 10)
• What happens when we put the adjectives all in a
row? What changes when we move some to the
end?
Your Turn
Please write about
this picture of a bear
using some
adjectives out of
order.
An Artist in Action
“But what you remember most is this tree, huge,
with fat arms and mighty families of squirrels in
the higher branches. All around, the
neighborhood of roofs, black-tarred and Aframed, and in their gutters, the balls that never
came back down to earth.” –Sandra Cisneros,
The House on Mango Street, Page 22
The Action Verbs
Brushstroke
• Action verbs show the action of the sentence
without helping verbs
• They paint a motion picture rather than a still
photograph
Example
• Passive Voice (Being Verb as a Helper)
• “The grocery store was robbed by two armed
men.” (Noden 11)
• Active Voice (Action Verb)
• “Two armed men robbed the grocery store.”
(Noden 11)
Help Me Make it Active
• “The runaway horse was ridden into town by
an old, white-whiskered rancher.” (Noden 11)
Other Cases Where Action
Verbs Make A Difference
Original Sentences:
“The Nerk Knocker is a strange mechanical
contraption. It brews coffee while beating a
drum solo.” (Noden 12)
• Not in passive voice, but contains a “being”
verb— “is”
• What can we do?
The Brushstroke
Assignment
• Find a picture in a magazine or on the Internet.
• Write a one- or two-paragraph description of the
picture containing all five brush strokes—one of each
type.
• Underline each brush stroke and identify it by drawing
a line to a label in the margin.
• Do not use more than two brush strokes per sentence.
• Each correctly used brush stroke will be worth 10
points, as indicated in the attached rubric
Rubric for Brushstroke
Assignment
• Absolute: _____/10
• Appositive: _____/10
• Participle: _____/10
• Adjective Out of Order: ______/10
• Active Verbs: _____/10
Total: ______/50
Student Sample 1—Low
The baseball, a new Rawling baseball coming
down the plate fast. Clutching the bat, the player
getting ready to hit the ball. Rawling baseball gliding
through the air. The catcher flexible and fast gets
ready to catch the ball. Chicago baseball
player tighteneds his hand around the bat to swing
with power. Chicago baseball player swings his bat
and makes contact with the ball. The ball flying fast
with power through the air. GO’s out of the stadium
a homerun.
Student Sample 2—
Medium
Standing on the colorful sailed boat, looking down into
the crisp clear water I spotted nothing in the shadows. So I
decided to go for a swim. I jumped in and the water cooled my
body. I went down about 100 ft and saw a marvelous undersea
life! It filled my body with a run of excitement and nerviness’s
as I thought about the dangers of bring down here. Then out of
the blue, all the fish started squirming and out comes a crystal
blue Great White!
The Shark, the Great White, stared at me with a feeding
frenzy look on his face. The long shark, buffed and ready
started after me! So I jumped up and jolted to be boat. So I
hopped into my boat as the shark is gliding after me. As soon I
touched my feet onto the boat’s rough floor, I felt safe and the
shark went away.
Student Sample 3—
Medium-High
Hunching, watching, and listening the lion
waits to pounce on its prey. Then she sees it, a baby
deer in the tall grasses and, she pounces, jumping
and roaring. Her claws, sharp and long digs deeply
into the young deer’s skin. The deer, wounded and
surprised, fell to the ground as the lion fell on top of
him. The lion let out a mighty roar to let her cubs
know that she had dinner. Paws padding the cubs
made their way over to their mother for dinner.
Student Sample 4—High
Flying, the car whistled through the thick
air smokey and grey. Flaming fires were ravaging
the base, the smoke reaching to the clouds. The
car, a new war machine is bursting through the
air at one hundred miles per hour.
Adjusting it for Different
Grade Levels
• Pick out the grammar concepts your students need
• Find examples of them being used as part of the
craft of writing
• Find pictures that can inspire writing, especially ones
that your students can relate to
• The process of studying grammar and mechanics as
part of the craft of writing can be applied to just
about anything.
Revisiting the
Brushstrokes Later
• A gallery tour
• Once students have a firm grasp on the brushstrokes,
try sending them to the computer lab (or taking a field
trip to an art museum) to find paintings they can write
about.
• I had my students do this with poetry in the 3rd quarter
after learning the brush strokes in 1st quarter with great
results
• Revision Bingo
• Make a bingo sheet for revision. Students have to score
a bingo before they’re done revising. Include the
brushstrokes as revision options.
Complete Works Cited
Anderson, Jeff. Mechanically Inclined: Building Grammar, Usage, and Style into
Writer's Workshop. Portland, Me.: Stenhouse, 2005. Print.
Cisneros, Sandra. The House on Mango Street. New York: Vintage, 1991. Print.
Collins, Suzanne. The Hunger Games. New York: Scholastic, 2008. Print.
Ehrenworth, Mary. Looking to Write: Students Writing through the Visual Arts.
Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann, 2003. Print.
Noden, Harry R. Image Grammar: Teaching Grammar as Part of the Writing
Process. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann, 2011. Print.
Rollins, James. Bloodline: A Sigma Force Novel. New York: William Morrow, 2012.
Print.
Rushdie, Salman. The Enchantress of Florence: A Novel. New York: Random
House, 2008. Print.