Transcript Slide 1

Improvement Areas for Your Next Essay!
I. Topic sentence/Thesis statement
 If you don’t have one, the reader has no idea what you’re talking
about, or where your writing is going.
 Topic sentences should always contain both (1) a topic and (2) a
controlling idea. Before you even begin writing, think first
about the topic and then what you want to say about the
topic. Most often, the topic is easy (what you are writing about),
but the question then turns to what you want to say about the
topic which is the controlling idea.
 The topic sentence serves as an anchor to ALL of your examples
and details in the paragraph. When you use a quote, CONNECT
IT BACK to the topic sentence. That is how you PROVE that the
quotes you use are relevant.
II. Incorporating Textual Evidence Quoting
 Direct quotation - copying an author's words directly
from the text and using that exact wording in your
paper.
 For a short quotation, use quotation marks " " to
indicate that these are someone else’s words.
 Include author name and page number in the in-text
citation
 e.g. (Hugo 37)
Textual Evidence – Using Quotes
 BE certain your quote is relevant- don’t just throw in
any old quote. If the quote had nothing to do with the
argument you are trying to make, then it’s going to
make the paragraph pointless.
 Placement - Do not end a paragraph with a quote. You
HAVE to explain the connection of the quote to the
overall purpose you are trying to prove in the
paragraph.
 Use quotes to support your point, not AS your point.
 Your quote should not take up more than 25% of your
response.
Quotes (cont.)
Resource - FANTASTIC Website to help use quotes
correctly in literary analysis papers
 http://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/QuoLiterature.ht
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Textual Evidence – Using Quotes –
4 general rules
Your sentence must comment on the
significance of the quotation.
2. Introduce a quotation either by
indicating what it is intended to show or
by naming its source, or both.
3. Punctuate and format correctly.
4. For plays, novels, and other works with
characters, identify characters as you
quote them.
1.
1. Your sentence must comment on
the significance of the quotation.
 Do not just introduce your evidence. Just as an attorney
shows a jury a forged check or murder weapon, a literary
critic shows the reader evidence--a word, a series of
phrases, a paragraph--to prove a point about character,
theme or style. As you quote, clearly indicate the context of
the passage and the purpose it serves in your argument.
Your sentence should include commentary:
WRONG (NO COMMENTARY): Macbeth says, "Out, out,
brief candle!" (5.5.23).
RIGHT: Upon hearing that his wife has died, Macbeth can
only cry, "Out, out, brief candle!" (5.5.23), for life now
seems to him no more than a flame that quickly vanishes.
2. Introduce a quotation
either by
indicating what it is intended to show
or by naming its source, or both.
WRONG (NO INTRODUCTION): Macbeth has
changed. "Out, out, brief candle!" (5.5.23).
WRONG (UNGRAMMATICAL): Macbeth has changed
"Out, out, brief candle!" (5.5.23).
RIGHT: A changed man, Macbeth wearily exclaims,
"Out, out, brief candle!" (5.5.23).
3. Punctuation and Format
A comma is used in narrative to introduce dialogue. It
follows verbs like say, tell, whisper, claim and demand ("He
cried, 'No!'"). It is used similarly in literary analysis,
whether the quotation comes before or after the verb.
Ex.
Upon learning his wife has died, Macbeth says, "Out, out,
brief candle!" (5.5.23).
"Out, out, brief candle!" (5.5.23), says Macbeth, upon
learning his wife has died.
For plays, novels, and other works
with characters, identify characters
as you quote them.
Wrong: She speaks to her master boldly, “You are human
and fallible” (129).
Right: Jane Eyre speaks to her master boldly, "You are
human and fallible" (129).
The following paragraph is from a student's analysis of the
relationship between two characters in Woolf's To the Lighthouse.
Notice how statements expressing the writer's ideas and
observations are verified with evidence from the novel in both
summarized and quoted form.
 We learn about Mrs. Ramsey's personality by observing her feelings about
other characters. For example, Mrs. Ramsey has mixed feelings toward Mr.
Tansley, but her feelings seem to grow more positive over time as she comes to
know him better. At first Mrs. Ramsey finds Mr. Tansley annoying, as shown
especially when he mentions that no one is going to the lighthouse (52). But
rather than hating him, at this point she feels pity: "she pitied men always as if
they lacked something. . ." (85). Then later, during the gathering, pity turns to
empathy as she realizes that Mr. Tansley must feel inferior. He must know, Mrs.
Ramsey thinks, that "no woman would look at him with Paul Rayley in the
room" (106). Finally, by the end of the dinner scene, she feels some attraction to
Mr. Tansley and also a new respect: "She liked his laugh. . . . She liked his
awkwardness. There was a lot in that man after all" (110). In observing this
evolution in her attitude, we learn more about Mrs. Ramsey than we do about
Mr. Tansley. The change in Mrs. Ramsey's attitude is not used by Woolf to show
that Mrs. Ramsey is fickle or confused; rather it is used to show her capacity for
understanding both the frailty and complexity of human beings. This is a
central characteristic of Mrs. Ramsey's personality.
What did the writer do well?
1. Statements express the student's own ideas about the
relationship Woolf is creating;
2. Textual evidence is included as summary, paraphrase,
and/or direct quote and discussed of how the evidence
supports the writer's interpretation (own
ideas/analysis of events).
3. The quotations are used in accordance with the
writer's purpose, i.e. to show how the development of
Mrs. Ramsey's feelings indicates something about her
personality.
Other forms of textual evidence Paraphrasing
 Taking the author’s ideas and putting them into your
OWN words.
 Paraphrases MUST be cited, in the same manner as a
direct quotation.
A True Paraphrase
Original text
Paraphrased text
“Students frequently overuse direct
quotation in taking notes, and as
a result they overuse quotations
in the final [research] paper.
Probably only about 10% of your
final manuscript should appear
as directly quoted matter.
Therefore, you should strive to
limit the amount of exact
transcribing of source materials
while taking notes” (Lester 4647).
In research papers students
often quote excessively,
failing to keep quoted
material down to a desirable
level. Since the problem
usually originates during note
taking, it is essential to
minimize the material
recorded verbatim (Lester 4647).
Other forms of textual evidence Summary
 Similar to a paraphrase but provide a general overview
of the author’s ideas
 Include author’s main ideas only
 Still you must cite the author
Paraphrase vs. Summary
Paraphrase
Summary
 In research papers students
 Students should take just a
often quote excessively,
failing to keep quoted
material down to a desirable
level. Since the problem
usually originates during note
taking, it is essential to
minimize the material
recorded verbatim (Lester 4647).
few notes in direct quotation
from sources to help
minimize the amount of
quoted material in a research
paper (Lester 46-47).
III – Writing Style – Tense/Point of
View
 KEEP YOURSELF OUT OF THE RESPONSE. No “I” or
“I think”. When you use first person, you are taking the
validity out of your argument. It is more powerful to
say, “Jean Valjean was influenced to become a good
man because of the Bishop” instead of “I think JVJ was
influenced by the Bishop”.
 USE THIRD PERSON POINT OF VIEW
THROUGHOUT YOUR RESPONSE…ALWAYS
Verb Tense
 Tense is a tricky issue. It's customary in literary analysis to
use the present tense; it is at the present time that you (and
your reader) are looking at the text.
 But, events in a narrative or drama take place in a time
sequence. You will often need to use a past tense to refer to
events that took place before the moment you are presently
discussing:
When he hears Cordelia's answer, Lear seems surprised, but
not dumbfounded. He advises her to "mend [her] speech a
little." He had expected her to praise him the most; but
compared to her sisters', her remarks seem almost
insulting (95).
IV - Grammar and Conventions
 Grammar and Conventions- EDIT AND PROOFREAD
YOUR PARAGRAPHS.
 “b/c” &, cause…..NO text messaging abbreviations!!!
 Proofread your sentences. If you have sentences that
are fragments (dependent clauses), run-on sentences
or other grammatical errors, you need to fix them.
 1-3 sentences is NOT ENOUGH to answer these
questions. Each response should be 8-10 sentences
minimum.
PARAGRAPH ORGANIZATION
TS: Topic Sentence/Clear Main Idea
A: Your analysis/Your Idea
1. Introduce evidence (Quote )—where, who, what at
that point in the story
a. Evidence (Quote and pg #)
i. Explain: Connect to main idea
B: Your analysis/Your Idea
2. Introduce evidence (Quote)—where, who, what at
that point in the story.
b. Evidence (Quote and pg #)
ii. Explain: Connect to main idea
CS: Conclusion Sentence-Restate, connect to main idea/topic
sentence
Revision
Using the powerpoint notes and your Part I Essay test,
pick one essay to revise. Rewrite on a new sheet of
paper, double-space, and staple to Part I test. This will
be collected next block for a grade and will also be part
of the Q3 Writing Portfolio.