Transcript Islam and Muslim Marriages

The Islamic Marriage System
Sir David Ochieng Foundation
Spiritual Research Department
March 2013
Presenter – Sir David Ochieng' Amir
(President) Sir David Ochieng Foundation,
Kenya
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Sir David Ochieng’
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Human Resource Officer– Sunset Hotel
Kisumu, Kenya
Director – Legendary Friends Corporation
www.legendaryfriendscorporation.kbo.co.ke
Amir (President) - Sir David Ochieng
Foundation www.davidochiengfoundation.net
International philanthropist of freewill society
www.davidochieng.net
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OUTLINE
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Islam – basic beliefs
Islamic world statistics
Islam in T&T – History / Current
Muslim Marriage Act of T&T
Fundamentals of a Muslim Marriage
On being Muslims and Trinidadians
Issues in Muslim marriages
Questions
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Islam - Basic Statistics
1.2 billion, Muslims represent
between 19.2% and 22% of the
world's population.
One of every five humans in the
world is a Muslim
Second largest religion in the
world
Fastest growing including
Europe and America
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Muslims in Trinidad - History
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Aboard Columbus’ ships –
cartographers
African slaves – tribes of Mandingo,
Fulani and Hausa
Indian Indentured labourers – started
with the Fath Ar-Razaak (Fatel
Rozak)
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Islam in Trinidad
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Approximately 100,000 in number
More than 100 mosques
Islamic Educational Institutions –
Primary, Secondary and Tertiary.
Specialised Institutions – MCU, CIB,
IFST
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Islam – Basic Beliefs
‘One out of every six (6) persons in the
world is a Muslim.’
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Basic beliefs
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Belief in One God – Allah (in Arabic)
Prophets who taught Allah’s Message.
Muhammad (pbuh) as the last of the
messengers.
Believe in Jesus.
The Qur’an as God’s words revealed to
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).
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Basic beliefs
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Belief in a Day of Judgement and
accountability for one’s actions.
Belief in Heaven and Hell.
That family is the foundation of a
society – promotes marriage.
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Muslim Marriage
Fundamentals
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T&T Law
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The Muslim Marriage and Divorce Ordinance
1961
No need to place ‘bans’. Marriage can be
done by a Marriage Officer anywhere.
Muslim Marriage Officers are appointed by
the State.
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Essentials of a Muslim Marriage
Contract
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Offer and acceptance (exchange of vows).
The two parties to the contract: the
prospective husband and the guardian of the
woman.
The presence of witnesses.
Mahr (loosely translated as Dowry).
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Other Elements seen
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Signing of Marriage Register
Exchange of rings
Sharbat (sharing a drink together)
Marriage by proxy
Traditional practices (Asian, Mid-eastern,
African etc.)
Feast – relatives and friends
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Points to note
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A Muslim Marriage should never be kept
secret.
The permission of the bride is necessary contrary to some writers.
An Islamic marriage is between a male and
female only.
It is permissible for woman to make a
marriage proposal to a man.
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Marital discord
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The Qur’an is the basis for which Muslims derive
laws.
The Qur’an asks that an arbiter be appointed from
among a relative.
Islam recommends the seeking of counseling from
those qualified to do so.
Muslims are also humans and subjected to same
marital issues like others.
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Facing Reality in Muslim Marriages
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Abuse – verbal, mental and emotional
Extra marital affairs
Husband not being around – too busy.
Betrayal of trust
Issues of sexuality
False expectations of marriage – media
images of ‘bliss’
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Divorce
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Permitted but disliked. Must be last resort.
Muslim Divorce Councils set up in Trinidad.
The case is examined for validity and
justification.
The Qur’an asks for parting in good terms.
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Fundamentals of a Happy Marriage
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Faith
Forbearance / Patience
Friendship With Your Spouse
Friendship With In-Laws
Couple Friends
Fun
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Fundamentals of a Happy Marriage
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Financial Plan
Respect For Family
Freedom
Plan For The Future
Fulfillment
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Plurality of wives
Polygamy in Islam
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Definition of Polygamy
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Polygamy means a system of marriage
whereby one person has more than one
spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One
is Polygamy where a man marries more than
one woman, and the other is polyandry,
where a woman marries more than one man.
In Islam, limited Polygamy is permitted;
whereas polyandry is completely prohibited
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What does the Qur’an say
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"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four;
but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly
(with them), then only one." [Al-Qur'an 4:3]
Before the Qur'an was revealed, there was no upper
limit for Polygamy and many men had scores of
wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit
of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry
two, three or four women, only on the condition that
he deals justly with them.
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Polygamy – Not a rule
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Polygamy is not a rule but an exception.
Many people are under the misconception
that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to
have more than one wife.
Throughout the Islamic world, polygamous
marriages constitute only 1–3% of all
marriages. (Wikipedia Encyclopaedia)
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Polygamy and other religions
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In Exodus (Chapter 21, Verse 10) it is stated:
"If he takes him 'another wife', her food, her raiment,
and her duty of marriage shall be not diminish."
It is evident to even a casual reader of Old
Testament that not only is polygamy permitted but
also practiced, and that regulations for that have
been stipulated in the scriptures.
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Polygamy and other religions
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Prophet "David took him more
concubines and wives out of
Jerusalem." (11 Sam. 5:13).
Prophet Solomon "had seven hundred
wives, princess, and three hundred
concubines." (I Kings 11:3)
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Even the clergy had wives
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The Emperor Valentinian II, by an Edict, allowed all
the subjects of the Empire, if they pleased, to marry
several wives; nor does it appear from the
ecclesiastical history of these times that the Bishops
and the heads of the Christian made any objection
to this law. Far from it, all the succeeding Emperors
practiced polygamy, and the people generally were
not remiss in following their example. Even the
clergy often had wives.
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Legal status of Polygamy in Islam
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That polygamy is neither mandatory, nor
encouraged, but merely permitted.
That the permission to practice polygamy is not
associated with mere satisfaction of. Rather, it is
associated with compassion towards widows and
orphans, a matter that is confirmed by the
atmosphere in which the Qur’anic injunction was
revealed.
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Legal status of Polygamy in Islam
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That dealing justly with one’s wives is an
obligation. This applies to housing, food,
clothing, kind treatment…etc., for which the
husband is fully responsible. If one is not sure
of being able to deal justly with them, the
Qur’an says: "then (marry) only one." (Qur’an
4:3)
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Legal status of Polygamy in Islam
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The requirement of justice rules out the fantasy that
man can "own as many as he pleases." It also rules
out the concept of a "secondary wife", for all wives
have exactly the same status and are entitled to
identical rights and claims over their husband. It also
implies, according to the Islamic Law, that should
the husband fail to provide enough support for any
of his wives, she can go to court and ask for a
divorce.
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Legal status of Polygamy in Islam
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The verse says "marry," not kidnap, buy or
seduce.
What is "marriage" as understood in Islam?
Marriage in Islam is a civil contract which is
not valid unless both contracting parties
consent to it. Thus, no wife can be forced or
"given" to a husband who is already married.
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Responsibility of husband
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The husband must have sufficient economic
means to provide adequate food, clothing
and other necessities of life to each of them
Each of the wives must be provided with a
separate house of her own
The husband must spend equal time in the
house of every wife
He must divide his nights among them
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Responsibility of husband
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The fact is that the imposition of the
previous mentioned conditions has
made polygamy very much restricted
among the Muslims; and one comes
across very rare cases of polygamy in
the Muslim societies.
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Mrs. Annie Besant wrote on this subject:
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"There is pretended monogamy in the West, but
there is real polygamy without responsibility. The
mistress is cast off when the man is weary of her
and she sinks gradually to be the woman of the
street: for the first lover has no responsibility for her
future: and she is hundred times worse off than a
sheltered wife and the mother in the polygamous
home. When we see thousands of miserable
women, who crowd the streets of Western towns
during the night, we must surely feel that it does not
lie in Western mouths to reproach Islam for its
polygamy
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Mrs. Annie Besant wrote on this subject:
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It is better for a woman, happier for a woman, more
respectable for a woman to live in Islamic polygamy
united to one man only with the legitimate child in
her arms and surrounded with respect, than to be
seduced, cast out in the streets perhaps with an
illegitimate child, outside the pale of law, unsheltered and uncared for, to become a victim of any
passer by, night after night, rendered incapable of
motherhood, despised by all."
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Thank You
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