Transcript Chapter 14: Stress and Crisis in Relationships

CHAPTER 14
Stress and Crisis in Relationships
Chapter 14: Stress and Crisis in
Relationships
Introduction
• Quote: Stress is an ignorant state. It
believes that everything is an emergency.
– Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind
• Discussion:
– What is the purpose of stress? What are
advantages and disadvantages of stress?
What are some common stress inducers for
students?
•
•
•
•
•
Chapter 14: Stress and Crisis in
Relationships
Chapter Outline
Personal Stress and Crisis Events
Positive Stress-Management Strategies
Family Crisis Examples
Marriage and Family Therapy
The Future of Stress and Crisis in
Relationships
Personal Stress and Crisis
Events
• Stress is a reaction of the body to substantial
or unusual demands
– Irritability, high blood pressure, and depression
• Crisis is a crucial situation that requires
changes in normal patterns of behavior
• A family crisis is a situation that upsets the
normal functioning of the family and requires
a new set of responses to the stressor
Personal Stress and Crisis
Events
• Sources of stress and crises can be
external or internal
• Stressors or crises may be expected or
unexpected
• Stress and crises are normal parts of
family life
Resilient Families
• Key factors that promote family resiliency
– Positive outlook
– Spirituality
– Flexibility
– Communication
– Financial management
– Shared family recreation, routines, or rituals
– Support networks
• ABCX Model of Family Stress
Positive Stress-Management
Strategies
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Scaling back and restructuring family roles
Changing basic values and perspective
Exercise
Friends and relatives
Love
Religion and spirituality
Laughter
Sleep
Pets
Deep muscle relaxation
Education
Counseling for children
Harmful Stress-Management
Strategies
•
•
•
•
Keeping feelings inside
Taking out frustration on or blaming others
Denying or avoiding the problem
Men are more likely to use potentially
harmful strategies
– Using alcohol
– Keeping feelings inside
– Keeping others from knowing how bad the
situation is
Family Crisis Examples
•
•
•
•
•
Physical Illness and Disability
Extramarital Affair
Unemployment
Substance Abuse
Death
Physical Illness and Disability
•
•
•
•
Treatment options
Physical effects following surgery
Psychological effects following surgery
Evaluation
Extramarital Affair
• Affairs are of different types, which may
include the following:
– Brief encounter
– Periodic sexual encounters
– Instrumental or utilitarian affair
– Coping mechanism
– Paraphiliac affairs
– New love
Extramarital Affair
• In one study of undergraduate students
– 24% admitted to cheating on a partner
– 41% stated that a partner had cheated on them
• Perceptions of Dating Infidelity Scale (PDIS)
Reasons for Extramarital
Affairs
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Variety, novelty, and excitement
Workplace friendships
Relationships dissatisfaction
Revenge
Homosexual relationship
Aging
Absence from partner
Delayed negative consequences
Effects of an Affair
• Loss of trust
• Negative self-concept for the cheated on
partner
• Loss of innocence
• Changing emotional attachment
• End of the relationship
Successful Recovery from
Infidelity
• Recovery phases
– Rollercoaster
– Moratorium
– Trust Building
• Prevention of infidelity
– Loving, nurturing, and communicative
relationships
– Avoid friends who have affairs
– Establish friendships with married couples who
value fidelity
Unemployment
• American unemployment is around 10%
• Society expects men to be the primary
breadwinners in the family
– Society equates masculine self-worth and
identity with job and income
• A woman’s identity is less tied to her work
Unemployment
• Substance abuse
– Health and medical
problems
– Legal problems
– Loss of employment
– Financial ruin
– School failure
– Divorce
– Death
Substance Abuse
• Stopping substance abuse
–
–
–
–
Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) medications
Alcoholics Anonymous
Al-Anon
Narcotics Anonymous
Death of Family Member
• Death of one’s child
– Can lead to
relationship conflict
and unhappiness
– Spouses need to be
patient and practice
tolerance in allowing
both to grieve in their
own way
• Death of one’s parent
– Chronic sorrow
Suicide
• Characteristics of people most likely to commit suicide
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
15 to 19 years old
Homosexual
Male
Family history of suicide
Mood disorder
Substance abuse
Past history of child abuse and/or parental sex abuse
• “Permanent solutions to a temporary problem”
• Survivors of Suicide
Marriage and Family Therapy
• Signs that a couple should consider therapy
– Feeling distant
– Not wanting to, or being unable to communicate
with your partner
– Avoiding each other
– Feeling depressed
– Drifting into a relationship with someone else or
having an affair
– Increased drinking
– Privately contemplating separation or divorce
Availability of Marriage and Family
Therapists
• Around 50,000
marriage and family
therapists in the U.S.
• Can be medical
doctors, nurses,
psychologists, social
workers, professional
counselors
• American Association
for Marriage and Family
Therapy (AAMFT)
• Cost: $100-$125 an
hour
Different Forms of Therapy
• Behavioral Couple Therapy (BCT)
• Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy
(IBCT)
• Computerized Internet Therapy
• Telerelationship Therapy
Caveats about Marriage and Family
Therapy
• Sometimes makes the marriage worse
– Saying things a spouse can’t forget
– Feeling hopeless at not being able to resolve a
problem
– Feeling resentment over new demands a spouse
makes in therapy
• Unrealistic picture from the therapist
• Not a quick and easy fix
• May have to miss work, pay for child care,
and be “exposed” at work if using employer’s
insurance policy
Quick Quiz
1. A reaction of the body to substantial or
unusual demands is called:
A.
B.
C.
D.
resiliency
crisis
burnout
stress
Quick Quiz
2. Stress is a:
A.
B.
C.
D.
process
crisis
state
reaction
Quick Quiz
3. Who is most adversely affected by a
spouse's illness?
A.
B.
C.
D.
the ill spouse
the ill spouse's children
the healthy spouse
their parents
Quick Quiz
4. A law that allows for a spouse to sue a
third party for taking away the affections
of a spouse is called the:
A.
B.
C.
D.
Coolidge Effect
Alienation of Affection
Extradyadic Involvement
Palliative Care
Quick Quiz
5. Drug use is most prevalent among which
age group?
A.
B.
C.
D.
12- to 17-year olds
18- to 25-year olds
26- to 34-year olds
35- to 40-year olds