Transcript Gender Talk - majorsmatter.net

Gendered Communication
The Three V’s Of Communication
Communication is . . . . the process of sharing yourself verbally and
nonverbally with another person in such a way that both of you understand
and accept what you say.
1
VERBALS
2
VOCALS
3
VISUALS
“I Am Going To The Mall.”
Cross-Gender Communication:
Venus and Mars?
RAPPORT REPORT
CONNECTIONS STATUS
INTERDEPENDENT INDEPENDENT
EXPRESSERS RESOLVERS
EXPANDERS CONDENSERS
FEELINGS FOCUS FACTS FOCUS
OUTCOMES & GOALS
Understanding Man-Talk
Issues:
“Men Don’t Listen”
“Men Don’t Talk”
“Men Don’t Express
Their Feelings”
OUTCOMES & GOALS
Understanding Man-Talk
Issues:
“Men Don’t Listen”
Men learn that problems are expressed ONLY when you
can’t solve them yourself.
“Men Don’t Talk”
He hears a NEED and offers a SOLUTION!
“Men Don’t Express
Their Feelings”
Men DO talk. In fact, they talk more than women do. It’s
how and when they talk that’s different.
He reserves his talking for when he has figured
things out and “knows” he’s right.
Men learn not to express the “weakness” emotions
publicly: fear, sadness, stress, sensitivity.
Men have caveman moments and should let their
partners know: “I’ll be back”.
PROCESS & RELATIONSHIP
Understanding Woman-Talk
Issues:
“Women Want To
Control Men”
“Men Talk Too Much”
“Women Are Too
Emotional”
PROCESS & RELATIONSHIP
Understanding Woman-Talk
Issues:
“Women Want To
Control Men”
“Men Talk Too Much”
“Women Are Too
Emotional”
Some “criticism” is about nurturing and trying to make
men “be better,” “do better,” “feel better”
She is trying to communicate concern and interest.
When she’s stressed, she wants to talk about it.
Her answers come by talking them out, not thinking
them out. She’s “expanding.”
Women see things in broad strokes and big pictures. She
talks in superlatives, metaphors, and over generalizations
Women have a tendency to “gunnysack”
Women and men have different frames of reference.
Vocal Differences In
Men-Talk & Women-Talk
Inflections
Women Often Use High-Rising Tones In Declarative Statements
Tag Questions – Make Declarative Statements Sound Tentative
Women Often Add Questions (“ . . ., Right?” and “. . . ., Don’t You Think?”) To
The End Of Declarative Statements
Discourse Particles – Fillers In Our Own Or Other People’s Speech
Women Use Segmentation Markers (“Uh Huhn,” “Ok”) To Show They’re Listening
Men Use Hesitation Markers (“Um” and “Like”) To Give Themselves Time To Think
Shift Mechanisms – Ways We Change Subjects When Someone Else Is Talking
Women Tend To Use Conjunctions (“But . .” or “However . . ” or “And . . . ”)
Men Tend To Use Interjections (“Listen, . . . ” or “By the way . . .”)
Politeness And Rapport Markers (e.g., “Would you mind?”)
Visual Differences In
Men-Talk & Women-Talk
Whole Use Of Body
Men take up more space, spread out, with legs wide
Men prefer to talk face-to-face and women prefer to talk side-by-side
When listening to someone, men recline (relaxed) and women lean forward (alert)
Use Of Arms
Men tend to use two-armed gestures while women use one-armed ones
Women’s gestures are light and fluid; men’s are more forceful and restricted
Use Of Hands
In conversations, men touch their partner less than women do
Men gesture more away from the body, while women gesture more towards it
Use Of Face
Men look obliquely at partners while women (in spite of “low status”) look directly at them
Men suppress facial expressiveness and “plasticity” more than women do