Transcript Chapter 8 - Dr. Saadia McLeod

Chapter 8
Interpersonal Communication
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Interpersonal Communication, continued
• Interpersonal communication is “an interactional
process in which one person sends a message to
another.”
– It involves at least two people
– It is a process involving a series of actions
– It is not “one-way”, but bi-directional
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Communication and Adjustment
• Effective communication is essential for many
important aspects of life.
• Good communication enhances satisfaction in
relationships.
• Poor communication is a major cause of relationship
break-ups.
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Nonverbal Communication, continued
• Nonverbal communication – “is the transmission of
meaning from one person to another through means
or symbols other than words."
• A great deal of information is conveyed in this
manner, so it is important to recognize the general
principles of nonverbal communication.
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Nonverbal Communication, continued
• General principles of nonverbal communication
1. It conveys emotions: facial expressions and body
posture can convey how we feel without words.
2. It is multichanneled: we use facial expressions,
gestures, eye contact, vocal tone, and body language.
3. It is ambiguous: body language can be difficult to
interpret.
4. It may contradict verbal messages: we may say one
thing, but our body conveys something different.
5. It is culture-bound: nonverbal signals vary from one
culture to another.
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Elements of Nonverbal Communication
1. Personal space
• Proxemics - “the study of personal space”
• Personal space – “a zone of space surrounding a
person that is felt to ‘belong’ to that person”
• Preference for amount of personal space depends
on
– Culture (see Figure 8.4)
– Status of the individuals involved
– How well you know the person
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Elements, continued
2. Facial expression
• Facial expressions convey basic emotions (see
Figure 8.5), recognized by people around the world.
– Anxiety may be a 7th distinct facial expression
(see Figure 8.6).
– It occurs in ambiguous situations where
perceived threats are unclear.
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Source: Photos courtesy of Paul Ekman, Ph.D./Paul Ekman Group, LLC
Elements, continued
3. Eye contact
• Duration of eye contact is the most meaningful
aspect of this channel of nonverbal
communication.
• Among European Americans, high levels of eye
contact are associated with effective social skills
and credibility.
• However, eye contact is judged as offensive by
other cultures (e.g., Native American tribes).
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Elements, continued
Eye contact, continued
• Eye contact also conveys intensity of feelings.
– In a positive context (e.g., romantic partners),
long gazes signal loving feelings, but
– In a negative context (e.g., road rage), long gazes
are interpreted as stares, and they make people
uncomfortable
• Finally, eye contact is affected by status and gender
(see Figure 8.7).
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Elements, continued
4. Body language
• Kinesics – “the study of communication through
body movements."
– An “open” posture (e.g., arms uncrossed and
down at sides) conveys a relaxed state.
– A “closed” posture (arms crossed) conveys
defensiveness or tension.
– Finally, hand gestures emphasize the words we
speak.
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Elements, continued
5. Touch
• Where and whom we touch conveys a variety of
meanings, especially status and power.
– There are strong norms that govern where we
touch friends.
– Female-female pairs touch more often than do
male-male pairs.
– Cross-gender touch is interpreted as support by
females, but as power or sexual interest by
males.
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Elements, continued
6. Paralanguage
• Paralanguage – “includes all vocal cues other than
the content of the verbal message itself”
– Variations in vocal emphasis can give different
meanings to the same words.
– Variations in speech also convey emotions (e.g.,
rapid speech indicates anxiety or excitement).
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Elements, continued
Detecting deception
• Nonverbal cues that actually indicate deception are
often different from those most people believe
indicate deception (see Figure 8.11).
• For example:
– Liars often say less, not more
– Liars are not necessarily good “storytellers” and
include less unusual content in stories
– Liars are more tense and make a more negative
impression on the listener
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based on a research review by DePaulo, Stone, and Lassiter (1985
The Significance of Nonverbal Communication
• Nonverbal sensitivity – “the ability to accurately
encode (express) and decode (understand) nonverbal
cues”
• Woman tend to be better encoders and decoders.
• However, this may stem from higher motivation.
• Thus, anyone can improve their nonverbal skills.
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More Effective Communication, continued
• Conversation skills: five steps for making successful
“small talk”
1. Indicate you are open to conversation by
commenting on your surroundings
2. Introduce yourself
3. Select a topic others can relate to
4. Keep the conversation ball rolling
5. Make a smooth exit
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More Effective Communication, continued
• Self-disclosure – “the act of sharing information about
yourself with another person” is important to
adjustment for several reasons.
1. Sharing problems with others plays a key role in
mental health.
2. Self-disclosure helps build relationships.
3. Emotional self-disclosures lead to feelings of
closeness.
4. Self-disclosure in romantic relationships is
associated with relationship satisfaction.
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More Effective Communication, continued
Self-disclosure, continued
• What People Tell and Don’t Tell Others About
Themselves
– People DO recount stories about themselves.
– People are NOT likely to disclose social
transgressions to others.
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More Effective Communication, continued
Self-disclosure, continued
• Self-disclosure and relationship development
– Self-disclosure varies over the course of
relationships.
o
o
At the beginning, there are high levels of mutual
self-disclosure, which taper off as the
relationship becomes established.
In established relationships, disclosures are not
necessarily reciprocated.
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More Effective Communication, continued
Relationship development, continued
• Movement away from reciprocal self-disclosures in
established relationships occurs for two reasons:
– There is more of a need for support than a
reciprocal disclosure from the other person.
– The need for privacy outweighs the need for
mutual self-disclosure.
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More Effective Communication, continued
Self-disclosure, continued
• Culture, gender, and self-disclosure
– Personal self-disclosures occur more in
individualistic cultures, whereas disclosures about
one’s group membership are the norm in
collectivist cultures.
– Females tend to disclose more than do males, and
this trend is strongest within same-gender
friendships.
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More Effective Communication, continued
• Tips for effective listening
1. Signal your interest in the speaker by using nonverbal cues
• Face the speaker squarely
• Lean toward him or her
• Try not to cross arms and legs
• Maintain eye contact
2. Hear the other person out before you respond
3. Engage in “active listening” by
– Asking for clarification if information is ambiguous
– Paraphrasing what the person said by restating the
speaker’s main points to ensure you have interpreted
correctly
4. Pay attention to the other’s nonverbal cues
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Communication Problems, continued
• Communication apprehension – “or anxiety caused by
having to talk with others” is usually followed by one of
four responses:
1. Avoidance – choosing not to participate
2. Withdrawal – “clamming up” in conversation you
cannot escape
3. Disruption – the inability to make fluent statements
4. Overcommunication – (e.g., nervous speech)
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Communication Problems, continued
• Barriers to effective communication
1. Defensiveness – “excessive concern with protecting
oneself from being hurt”
2. Ambushing – listening carefully only to then
verbally attack the speaker
3. Motivational distortion – hearing what you want to
hear
4. Self-preoccupation – being so self-absorbed the
other person cannot equally participate
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Interpersonal Conflict, continued
• Beliefs about conflict
– Most people believe any kind of conflict is bad.
– However, avoiding conflict is usually
counterproductive and leads to a selfperpetuating cycle (see Figure 8.14).
– It is better to confront conflicts constructively so
that issues can be aired and resolved.
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Adapted from Lulofs, 1994
Interpersonal Conflict, continued
• Styles of managing conflict
– Two dimensions (concern for self and concern for others)
underlie five distinct patterns of managing conflict (see
Figure 8.16).
1. Avoiding/withdrawing (low concern for self and others)
2. Accommodating (low concern for self, high concern for
others)
3. Competing/forcing (high concern for self, low concern for
others)
4. Compromising (moderate concern for self and others)
5. Collaborating (high concern for self and others)
– While compromising simply involves “splitting the
difference”, collaborating involves finding a solution that
is maximally satisfying to both parties.
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Interpersonal Conflict, continued
•
Dealing constructively with conflict
– Make communication honest and open
– Exhibit Trust
– Use specific behavior to describe another person’s annoying
habits rather than general statements about their personality
– Avoid “loaded” words
– Try using “grace” – honoring others’ needs
– Use a positive approach and help the other person “save face”
– Limit complaints to recent behavior and to the current
situation
– Assume responsibility for your own feelings and preferences
– Try to use an assertive communication style
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Developing an Assertive Style, continued
• The nature of assertiveness
– Assertiveness – “involves acting in your own best interests
by expressing your thoughts and feelings directly and
honestly”
– In contrast, submissive communication involves “giving in”
to others
o Individuals who use this style report feeling bad about
being “pushovers”
– Aggressive communication is different from assertiveness
and “focuses on saying and getting what you want at the
expense of others."
– Assertive communication is more adaptive than either
submissive or aggressive communication, and is a skill that
can be learned through assertiveness training.
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Developing an Assertive Style, continued
• Steps in assertiveness training:
1. Understand what assertive communication is.
• Don’t forget about nonverbal cues.
2. Monitor your assertive communication.
• Identify when you are not assertive, find out who
intimidates you, on what topics, and in which situations.
3. Observe a model’s assertive communication.
4. Practice assertive communication by using
• Covert rehearsal – imagine using assertiveness in a
situation that requires it.
• Role playing – ask a friend to play the role of an
antagonist so you can practice.
5. Adopt an assertive attitude.
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