Transcript Communicators

Leave
cleave
Serve
God’s design
for marriage…
…reflects Jesus’ love for
…makes us more like Christ.mankind.
...enables COuPLES
to experience
deep joy.
…multiplies
a Godly
What are some of the
major threats
to a
oneness
marriage?
Main Threats to
onene
ss:
1. An unawareness of God’s
design for marriage
2. Unfulfilled expectations
3. An unintentional
marriage.
4. Extramarital affairs.
5. Poor communication
6. An unhealthy handling of conflict
7. Inevitable difficulties
A main threat to
Oneness:
5. Poor Communication
Communication
is the process of sharing
Yourself verbally and nonverbally
with another person in such a way
that both of you understand and
Why Communication
is so
difficult
1. There is a lot of room for error.
First, you have something you want to get
across to the other person—what you mean.
Perhaps you’ve thought about it, or you just
formulate it as you open your mouth. But it
may not come out the way you intended. So
the second message is what you actually
say. Now, let’s turn to your spouse. The third
message is what your spouse actually
Why Communication
is so
difficult
1. There is a lot of room for error.
Uh-oh, now the possibility of
misunderstanding increases. If the
communication stopped here, it wouldn’t
be so complicated. But the fifth message
is what your spouse says about what
you said. Now it’s back in your lap,
because the sixth message is what you
Why Communication
is so
difficult
2. People communicate in different
ways.
“Land the Plane“
Communicators:
Want to Find the shortest path
to the goal.
Why Communication
is so
difficult
2. People communicate in different
ways.
“Enjoy the ride“
Communicators:
Think you might as well relax and
Thethe
trip ride
is what it is all about
enjoy
Why Communication
is so
difficult
2. People communicate in different
ways.
Think out loud
communicators
ask questions and make comments as
soon as the thought occurs – even if
the other person happens
Why Communication
is so
difficult
2. People communicate in different
ways.
Let’s take
communicators
turns
Use principles of justice and fair play
to govern communication.
Why Communication
is so
difficult
3. We are not intentional about
intimate conversations
with
our
having
spouse.
If we are going to experience oneness
in the marriage relationship,
we have to be intentional about carving
out regular time in our schedule that
allows us to communicate with our spouse
Why Communication
is so
difficult
4. Our communication skills stink.
We are poor listeners
and we often do a
lackluster job in
expressing
How can we become
better communicators
so that we can experience a
greater degree of oneness
in our marriage relationship?
By listening and
expressing ourselves well.
Listening
well
Psalm 116:1-6 (MSG)
I love God because he listened
to me, listened as I begged for
mercy. He listened so intently
as I laid out my case before
him. Death stared me in the
face, hell was hard on my
Listening
well
Psalm 116:1-6 (MSG)
“Please, God!” I cried out.
“Save my life!” God is
gracious—it is he who makes
things right, our most
compassionate God. God takes
the side of the helpless; when I
Listening
well
Proverbs 18:13 (MSG)
Answering before listening
is
both stupid and rude.
Listening
well
Proverbs 21:11 (MSG)
Simpletons only learn the
hard way, but the wise
learn by listening.
Listening
well
James 1:19 (NLT)
Understand this, my dear
brothers and sisters: You
must all be quick to listen,
slow to speak, and slow
Listening
well
1. Give focused attention.
Some people believe that successful
communication
consists of 7% content,
38% tone of voice,
And 55% nonverbal
communication.
Listening
well
2. Listen with acceptance and
understanding
A
hearer merely hears
A listener
Listening
well
3. Ask clarifying questions & make
summarizing statements.
Are you telling me that
___________?
Can you tell me more about what you
meant when you said_______?
Correct me if I am wrong, but here is what
I hear you saying??
Listening
well
4. Focus on what is being said, not
it is
Ifthe
we way
decide
tobeing
focus said.
on the
message behind the message,
we have a chance to
move towards oneness,
but if we decide to trade blow for blow,
the end results will be more and more
isolation in our marriage
Listening
well
5. Allow freedom for differences in
communication styles.
Communication
are
not
wrong
just
different.
styles
Expressing Yourself
well
5. Allow freedom for differences in
communication styles
Proverbs 29:20
(NKJV)
Do you see a man hasty
in his words? There
is more hope
for a fool than for him.
Expressing Yourself
well
1. Think before you Speak.
Determine
exactly what you
want to say and
when the best
time is say it. Is what you want to say
true, kind and necessa
Expressing Yourself
well
1. Think before you Speak.
Proverbs 10:19
In(NKJV)
the multitude of
words sin is not
lacking, but he who
restrains
Expressing Yourself
well
2. Ask to make sure you are being
understood.
Good expressers
ask the listener to make
summarizing statements to ensure
they are being
properly understood.
Expressing Yourself
well
3. Allow for freedom in differences in
communication style
When we express our self
Marriage, we honor our
in
by adjusting to
their communication style.
spouse