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Computer-Mediated
Communication
Intimate relationships
Coye Cheshire & Andrew Fiore
// April 7, 2016
Um, where were we?
 Marriage markets — exchange theory
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Exchange of differential characteristics
Opportunity cost of staying with mate
Lure of guaranteed replacement (big market)
“Love” as solution to commitment problem
So what can we learn from newspaper
personal ads in 1984?
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Greek love styles
Eros: passionate love
Ludus: game-playing love (flirtation?)
Storge: companionate love (deep friendship)
Pragma: storge + ludus — practical love
Mania: eros + ludus — intense, jealous love
Agape: eros + storge — unselfish, giving love
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Analyzing magazine personals
 Fs seeking Ms same age or older
 Ms seeking younger Fs (or not much older)
 Homophily on personality traits, interests
 Men more likely to describe attractiveness
 Men also more likely to request photo
 A contradiction?
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So what happens when people
actually make up their minds?
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Shifting gears…
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Selves: actual, real, ideal
 “Actual” self — who you present usually
 “Real” or “true” self — who you really are,
but are prevented from presenting
 “Ideal” self — who you aspire to be
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Self-disclosure
 Progressive self-disclosure builds intimacy
 (Passion as function of change in intimacy?)
 “Gating features” preclude this process?
 “Stranger on a train” phenomenon
= “Stranger in a chat room”?
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Transitioning to face-to-face
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Liking in mediated channels
 Lab experiment — interact with oppositesex partner in one of three conditions:
 Interact face-to-face for 20 min twice
 Interact first on IRC for 20 min,
then face-to-face for 20 min
 Interact with one person face-to-face and one
via IRC — actually same person
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