Transcript “You” message

Protecting Your Retirement
& Other Financial Information
for Family Caregivers:
What Every Adult Child Should
Know
Chapter 6
Effective Communication
is Essential
Written by
Dr. Celia Hayhoe,
CFP®, Family Resource
Management Specialist,
Virginia Tech
©2005 National Endowment for
Financial Education. All rights
reserved.
Funded by:
Effective Communication is
Essential
• In most families, discussing financial matters is difficult.
• Adding the additional issues that come with caregiving
decisions, makes the discussion even harder.
• This chapter gives communication tips for dealing with
difficult topics.
• See the companion Web site for more information.
Before You Start
• Turn off the television and the radio
• Don’t start the conversation if you are rushed for
time
• Start off with positive statements to put everyone
in a good mood
• If you have difficulty communicating your
feelings, you may want to write them down
• Voicing your own planning concerns may open
the door for discussing the concerns you have
with the care receiver’s planning
Tips
• Take Time
– You may have been thinking about the
problem for awhile. Give others a
chance to think things over.
• Planning Ahead
– It is much easier to discuss these issues
if you are not in the middle of a crisis.
– This way you can involve all family
members including older children.
Tips
• Practice, practice, practice
–It takes time to change old habits
• Using a third party as illustrated in the
video
–When possible choose someone
who specializes in elder-care issues
Tips
• Use “I” messages
“I” message
not
“You” message
I feel that you do not hear what
I am saying.
You never listen.
I am upset that I have to
perform most of mother’s
caregiving because it is
causing me problems at
work.
You never help with mother’s
caregiving, or
You have no idea of the
problems I am having.
I am worried about what would
happen if you became ill
since I live so far away.
You need to make plans in
case you get sick.