Transcript facilitative leadership and self

COMMUNICATION IN
EVERYDAY LIFE
THREE MODES
OF TALK!
Lecture 14b
TYPES OF TALK
• CONNECT (SMALL) TALK
• C.O.N.T.R.O.L. TALK
•
LIGHT OR HEAVY
• D.I.A.L.O.G.U.E. TALK
THREE TYPES OF TALK AND PROBLEMSOLVING IN RELATIONSHIPS
CONNECT
TALK
(SMALL TALK)
PROBLEM
C.O.N.T.R.O.L. TALK
BEING RIGHT
CHOICE
SOLVE PROBLEM
ASSUME/JUDGE
LIGHT - HEAVY
D.I.A.LO.G.U.E.
TALK
- MINDFULNESS
- FLEXIBILITY
- META-TALK
LEARN/ ACCEPT
CONNECT TALK
• RITUAL CONNECTION TALK
• SMALL TALK
SMALL TALK AND COMPETENCE
• ITS HOW WE DEMONSTRATE
COMMUNICATION COMPETENCE
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KNOWING RULES OF COMMUNICATION INTERACTION
COMMUNICATION RULES ARE SHARED UNDERSTANDINGS
OF WHAT COMMUNICATION MEANS AND WHAT BEHAVIORS
ARE APPROPRIATE IN VARIOUS SITUATIONS. (CONTEXTS)
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FORMS OF ADDRESS, EFFECTS OF STATUS
ADJUST FOR CONTEXT
NON-VERBAL RULES OF INTERACTION
- WHEN TO START, STOP, INTERRUPT, ETC.
THE CONTEXT
• THE ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH THE
COMMUNICATION OCCURS
• INFLUENCES THE CONTENT AND
FORM OF COMMUNICATION
CONTEXT AND RULES
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CLOSER IN SPACE - MORE PERSONAL MESSAGES
MORE INTIMATE - MORE AFFECTION
HI STATUS RECEIVER - HUMBLE SENDER
LISTENER HIGHLY EGO INVOLVED- RESPECTFUL
OR COMPLIMENTARY MESSAGES
• LISTENER ATTITUDE CENTRAL - SERIOUS
• SPEAKER ROLE CLEAR - ROLE-CONSISTENT
RULE-BREAKING
• COMPETENCE IN RULE-BREAKING
1. APOLOGIES
2. DISCLAIMERS
• HEDGING - I’M NO EXPERT BUT…
• CREDENTIALING - I’M NOT PREJUDICED, SOME OF MY BEST
FRIENDS ARE….
• COGNITIVE - “I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT…
• APPEAL FOR SUSPENDED JUDGMENT - “HEAR ME OUT
BEFORE YOU EXPLODE...
SMALL TALK AS VITAL
• VITAL TO DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIPS
• ASSOCIATED WITH TRUST
• DEMANDED IN SOME CONTEXTS
TYPES OF SMALL TALK
• RITUAL TALK - GREETING/LEAVING
• PROCEDURAL TALK -MAKE PURCHASE/DO JOB
• PASTIME TALK - SOCIAL OCCASIONS
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GENDER TALK
“EVER BEEN TO…”
“AIN’T IT AWFUL”
HOW TO….
DO YOU KNOW...