Transcript The Method of Getting to YES

The Method of
Getting to YES
Chapter 2:
Separate the People from the
Problem
“A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte” by Georges Seurat
“Am I paying enough attention to
the people problem?”
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Negotiators are people first!
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Emotional
Unpredictable
Capable of misconstruing situations and actions
Ongoing relationships should be more important
than individual negotiation
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The PEOPLE and the PROBLEM = not the same!
Don’t project situational anger onto the people
involved
They may interpret that as a personal attack
DEAL WITH PEOPLE PROBLEMS DIRECTLY!
Looking at the Big Picture
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Perceptions
Being “in their shoes”
Don’t assume
Don’t blame
Discuss openly
Allow them to vent
Surprise them
GIVE THEM OWNERSHIP!
“Saving Face”
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Carries a derogatory flavor
Actually crucial in negotiations
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One can reconcile his stand with his values
Allows him to “give in” without “backing
down”
Reconciling an agreement with principle
Judicial example
The Power of Communication
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Not easy – “Whatever you say, expect that the
other side will almost always hear something
different.”
True communication involves LISTENING!
Speak to be understood
Speak to YOUR feelings, not what THEY did to
you
Side-by-side negotiations communicate a lot
An apology can go farther than you imagine
Key Points
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The difference between understanding
and agreeing
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Face the problem, not the people
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Think before you speak