Transcript Effective Club Communication

Effective Club
Communication
Lee Fogarty, Ph. D.
Proud Governor, District 4
Former Conflict Management Officer, District 4
412-915-7738
Effective Club
Communication
• How to talk
so others will listen
• How to listen
so others can talk
A team
A team is a small group of people with complementary
skills who are committed to a common purpose.
Barriers to communication
So, we are working towards a common purpose.
What gets in the way?
• information overload
• time
• energy
• message congruency
• personality differences
• lack of trust
We’d be fine if they weren’t so different
Ever wonder why people behave the way they do?
innate personality
cultural differences
learned responses
This adds richness to our culture and our organization
….can make communication more challenging
….causes judgments
May also
create tensions
contribute to conflict
Separate realities
• This is my favorite theory in terms of communication
• Often we decide the things that motivate me will (should) motivate
everyone (my father)
• To be successful we understand their differences and respond without
judgment
• This increases positive interaction and reduces conflict
This relationship would be great if it weren’t for you
A real title of a book, and often how we think
In order to communicate, we need to learn what will work with the
other person - what is effective with them, rather than trying to get
them to be us
The person who is task focused needs to be given reasons not feelings,
the person who is relationship focused needs to be addressed in a
relational way, the technical person needs to have facts.
(AM)
Separate realities
In organizations, need to take advantage of
different strengths
We need
• People who like detailed work as well
as those who look at the big picture
• Creative people as well as analytical
ones
• People who work best in groups as
well as those who think best on their
own
Trust
Once we understand personality differences, it is easier to build trust.
Trust is the most important ingredient in working with a team.
Think of one example of when you felt trust in a friend.
Think of one example of when you felt trusted by a friend.
How does that feel?
What is trust?
• Basically trusting that you will tell me the truth
• Confidence that peers intentions are good
• Feel that there is no reason to have to be protective or careful
• Comfortable being VULNERABLE with each other
• Show weaknesses
• Admit skill deficiencies
• Ask for help
…and this is really about conflict
…how it affects us and how we can learn to deal with it
To deal with conflict
good communication
trust
assertiveness
What is conflict?
CONFLICT
What words come to mind?
conflict
• Fear
• Loss
• Humiliation
• Flight
• Loss of productivity
• Hurt, bad, tense, anger
All negative words
Conflict
Would this surprise you?
“The absence of conflict is not harmony, it’s apathy”
Conflict over issues is natural and necessary.
Jot down some words that define conflict in a positive way.
Positive results of conflict
• Better relationships
• Increased confidence
• Less anger and depression
• Greater respect from others
• Increased intimacy
• Peace
• Less fear
• Greater sense of personal strength
Sources of conflict
• Poor communication
• Unclear responsibilities
• Differences of goals
• Divergent personalities
• Differences in methods and styles
• Differences in perception or opinions
• Conflict of interest
• Using the same old solutions over and over
Causes of Conflict
Interdependence plus differences can create conflict
• Fact of life
• No one’s fault
• Develops when the concerns of different team members appear to be
incompatible
Interdependence
Need to work together to satisfy
concerns of the team
Is high when the team makes
decisions that affect all members
Differences
• Varying responsibilities, values, temperaments, sources of
information, experience
• The more diverse the above, the more conflict
• AND more diversity provides the opportunity for richer understanding
of, and approaches to, issues
Positive conflict
Teams that engage in conflict
• Have lively, interesting meetings
• Extract and exploit the ideas of all team
members
• Solve real problems quickly
• Minimize politics
• Put critical topics on the table for
discussion
Teams that fear conflict
• Have boring meetings
• Create environments where back-channel politics and personal
attacks thrive
• Ignore controversial topics that are critical to team success
• Fail to tap into all the opinions and perspectives of team members
• Waste time and energy with posturing and interpersonal risk
management
Conflict Management Styles
• Avoidance
• Competition
• Accommodation
• Compromise
• Collaboration
Tips for Managing Conflict
• Control your temper and emotional response
• Understand the issues
• Pick your battles
• Search for a common goal or ground
• Look at the context of the conflict
Context of conflict
• What is motivating the other person?
• What beliefs or values are influencing their perspective?
• What limitations are influencing her perspective (fears, lack of skills,
stresses and pressures)?
• Ask these questions of yourself, as well
Process of conflict management
• Analyze the situation
• Plan a strategy
• prepare your strategy
• Implement your strategy
Effective tactics
• Be calm
• Maintain eye contact and be aware of body language
• Explain your concerns in a descriptive manner
• Supply only relevant data
• I statements
• Clarify other’s message by paraphrasing and get feedback
• That is, really listen
Personal Action Plan
What are you willing to do differently in the coming weeks?
What is one strength of yours in dealing with conflict?
What is one area that you could focus on and improve?
What is the hardest behavior for you to deal with? Why?
Q&A
Please feel free to ask any questions related to communication and this
webinar now.
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