Transcript Mediation Ethics

Listening
By James R. Coben
Director, Dispute Resolution Institute
Hamline University School of Law
[email protected]
Prime Directive
Understand first.
Then be understood.
Stephen R. Covey,
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
The Communication Filtering
Process
 What is Meant

Private: Known only by the sender
 What is Sent

Public
 What is understood

Private: Known only by the receiver
The Communication Gap
Hidden
Visible
• Language
• Appearance
• Behavior
•
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Assumptions
Values
Needs
Expectations
Cultural and Personal
Attitudes
• Thought Processes
• Learning Styles
Common Blocks to Good
Listening
 Advising (playing psychologist or counselor)
 Bottom Lining (“get to the point”)
 Interrogating (getting information to solve
the problem)
 Rehearsing (thinking about what you are
going to say next)
Listen For?
Objective observations about the
conflict
“What specifically did you see or
hear that led to your
reaction/conclusion?”
Assumptions, interpretations,
suspicions about each other
“It sounds like you have some suspicions about
what’s really going on here. You think..., is
that right? What specifically has s/he said
or done that makes you think that?”
Values underlying reactions
Emotional reactions to the
conflict
“What was that experience like for you?
How did it affect you?”
“I’m hearing that ... is very important to you.”
Needs that must be met for a
satisfactory solution
“What would it mean to you if you had that?”