Transcript Relationship - Gordon State College

Personal
Relationships
By: Ashley, Chalce, Brianna, Briana
Defining Personal Relationships
– A personal relationship is a voluntary commitment between irreplaceable
individuals who are influenced by rules, relationship dialectics and surrounding
context.
– Ex. Friends, family, ect.
 https://youtu.be/PeaguDB-v_c
 (2:40-3:19
Features of Personal Relationships,
Uniqueness.
– Social relationships- is a participant interact according to general social roles
rather than unique individual identities.
– In other words, the person can be replaced by someone else who takes the
same role.
– The individual person are less important that the roles they fulfill.
– In personal relationships, the particular people and what they create between
them define the connection
Commitment
– Passion- An intense feeling based on the rewards of involvement with another
person.
– Commitment is the decision to remain with a relationship.
– Commitment is a decision to stay together despite trouble, disappointment,
sporadic restlessness.
– Commitment grows out of investment, which is what we put into the
relationship that we could not retrieve if the relationship ends. Includes
material items as well as emotional.
– Investments are important because they are personal choices to give things that
can’t be recovered.
Relationship rules
– Rules are an unspoken guide on how partners communicate and interpret each
other’s communication.
– Constitutive rules define how to interpret communication.
– EX. Some people take eye contact in communication as respect and efficient
listening while others.
– Regulative rules govern interaction by specifying when and with who to engage
in various kinds of communication.
– Ex. You may not act the differently in front of your friends versus when you
meet your spouse’s family for the first time.
Affected By Contexts
– Personal relationships are not isolated from the social world. Instead, the
surroundings of relationships influence interaction between people ( Dainton,
2006; Felmlee, 2001).​
– Our social circle establish norms for such activities as religious involvement,
drinking, political activism, participation in community groups, studying,
working, and socializing.​
– Many social contexts in our lives affect what we expect of relationships and how
we communicate in them.​
– Social circles and the larger society as well are contexts that influence the
relationships we form and the ways we communicate within them.​
Relationship Dialectics
– Relationship dialectics – the tensions between opposing forces or tendencies
that are normal parts of all relationships: autonomy/connection,
novelty/predictability, and openness/closedness.​
– Autonomy/connection – One of three relationship dialectics; the tension
between the need for personal autonomy, or independence, and connection, or
intimacy.​
– Novelty/predictability – one of the three relationships dialectics; the
tension between the desire for spontaneous, new experience, and the desire
for routines and familiar experiences.​
Relationship Dialectics
–
Openness/closedness – One of three relationship dialectics; the tension between the desire to
share private thoughts, feelings, and experiences with intimates and the desire to share private
thoughts, feelings, and experiences with intimates and the desire to preserve personal privacy.​
–
Neutralization – One of four responses to relationship dialectics; balancing or finding a compromise
between two dialectical poles.​
–
Separation – One of the four responses to relationship dialectics, in which friends or romantic
partners assign one of the pole of dialectic to certain spheres of activities or topics and assign the
contradictory dialectical pole to district spheres of activities or topics.
–
Segmentation – One of the four responses to relationships dialectics; segmentation responses meet
one dialectical need while ignoring or not satisfying the contradicting dialectical need.​
–
Reframing – One of the four responses to relationship dialectics; transcends the apparent
contradiction between two dialectical poles and reinterprets them as not in tension.​
Evolutionary Course of Personal
Relationship…
• Sudden changes in relationships do not just happen automatically.
•
Particular experiences and events cause relationships to become more or less
intimate(turning points).
Changes a
• Learning a person
intimate
has a drug
relationship
problem.
negatively.
https://youtu.be/rbs_mp
31lIw
• Meeting your
spouse parents.
Positive
effect a
intimate
relationship
Evolutionary Course of
Friendship:
*Friendship has six stages*
 Interaction based on social
roles
 Emerging Friendship
 Stabilized friendship
 Friendly relations
 Moving toward friendship
 Waning friendship
Evolutionary Course of Romantic
Relationship:
– The romantic relationship has three broad
stages: Escalating, navigating, and
deteriorating.
 Escalating (Six steps)
1. Expressing Interest
2. Initial Attraction
–
Proximity
–
Similarity (matching hypothesis)
3. Exploratory Communication
4. Intensifying Communication
–
https://youtu.be/J0G-jXdYCNI
5. Revising Communication
6. Commitment
Navigating
•
•
NOT static
Relationship culture: The nucleus of an established
intimate relationship.
*Rules, understandings, patterns, meanings…*
* Includes how couples manage
relationship dialects.
The Breakdown
–
Stop talking during dinner
–
Break away from rules and patterns in their relationship culture
–
Thinking about alternatives
–
Avoid talking about problems
–
Seek social support
–
Accepting the relationship is over.
Deteriorating
Digital Media and Personal
Relationships
– Before digital media existed, our choices of friends and romantic partners were
largely limited to the people we encountered face-to face.
– In today’s society we rely solely on social media sites such as Instagram and
twitter to communicate, whereas before those sites face-to- face communication,
and telephone calls were considered the norm.
– Social media has also opened the doors for both men and women, to
misrepresent themselves, such as editing their pictures, and using another
person’s pictures as their own.
– One of the main concerns about social media is cyberstalking, which allows
former friends and former significant others to monitor your life, and also
harass you.
Guidelines for Communication
Adapt communication to
manage distance
Ensure equity in family
relationships
Avoid intimate partner
violence
Insist on safer sex
Guidelines for Communication
1. Adapt communication to manage distance
–
Two of the greatest problems for long distance commitments are the lack of daily
communication, and unrealistic expectations
2. Ensure equity in family relationships
–
According to the equity theory people are happier and more satisfied with equitable relations,
than with inequitable ones.
– When we think we are investing more than our partner is, we tend to be resentful and
angry.
– One area that strongly affects satisfaction of spouses and cohabitating partners is
equity in housework and childcare.
– Traditionally women were assigned care of the home and the children because men
were more likely to be the primary caregivers, which in today’s society is no longer
accurate.
Guidelines for Communication …
-
Not only do women usually do more of the actual labor of maintaining a home and caring
for children, they also tend to assume a greater portion of psychological responsibility,
which involves planning family activities.
3. Avoid intimate partner violence
- Intimate partner violence is experienced, and perpetrated by both sexes.
-
Twenty-five percent of U.S women have been violently attacked by husbands, or
boyfriends
4. Insist on safer sex
-
To date over 600,000 people in the united states have died of AIDS.
Despite the many dangers, many people still don’t practice safe sex.
Good communication skills make negotiating safe sex methods to your partner easier.
Work Cited…
– Wood, J. T. (2017). Communication mosaics: An introduction to the field of
communication. 8th Edition. Boston, MA: Wadsworth.