Transcript Managing Conflict

Personal Relationships
• Voluntary commitments between
individuals influenced by rules, relational
dialectics and the surrounding contexts.

A social relationship is interaction within social
roles, rather than as unique individuals.
Committed Romantic
Relationships
• Dimensions of romantic
relationships:



Intimacy
Commitment
Passion
Dialectical Theory
Autonomy
Connection
Novelty
Predictability
Openness
Closedness
Relational Dialectics
Autonomy/Connection
I need my own space.
I want to be close.
Novelty /Predictability
We need to do
something new.
I like the familiar
rhythms we have.
Openness/Closedness
I like sharing so
much with you.
There are some
things I don’t want
to talk about.
Responding to Dialectics
• Neutralization negotiates a balance between the
two poles.
• Give priority to one need and neglect the other.
• Separate by assigning one need to certain
interactions and opposing needs to another
aspect of interaction.
• Reframe by redefining contradictory needs so
they are not in opposition.
The least effective way to manage dialectics is to
honor one need and repress the opposing need.
Styles
Storge
Agape
generous
selfless
friendship
stable
of Love
Eros
passionate
sudden
Mania
Pragma
practical
Ludus
playful
unsure
others
love them
Western Perceptions of the Evolution of a
Romantic Relationship -Growth
Individuals are not interacting.
Individuals signal they are interested in
communication.
Exploration exchanges information to explore the
possibilities for a relationship.
Intensifying increases the depth of the relationship.
Revising looks at the relationship more realistically.
Commitment is a decision to stay with a relationship
permanently.
Western Perceptions of the Evolution of a
Romantic Relationship -Deterioration
Dyadic breakdown--degeneration of patterns,
understandings, and routines.
Intrapsychic--brooding about problems and
partner--beginning to think about alternatives.
Dyadic--discussion of problems (doesn’t always occur).
Social phase--figuring out how to tell outsiders about
the parting and seeking their support.
Grave dressing--burying the relationship and
accepting its end.
Relationship Maintenance
• The relational culture originally
created will be refined and
transformed.

Partners must understand change and
adapt to it.
• Daily routines are the lifeblood of
relationships.

Everyday routines, shared concerns, ways
of interacting, conversation, and reflection
Developmental Stages in
Romantic Relationships
Navigation
Dyadic breakdown
Intimate bonding
Intrapsychic phase
Revising communication
Dyadic phase
Intensifying communication
Social support
Explorational communication
Grave dressing
Invitational communication
Individuals
Surviving Distance
• Build climates that are trusting, open and
honest.
• Focus on what is positive and good.


About the relationship
About the separation
• Remember that each partner can
concentrate more fully on work, school or
other priorities.
Challenges to Romantic
Relationships
• Creating equitable relationships

Women usually assume psychological responsibility which
involves remembering, planning, and coordinating
domestic activities.
• Resisting violence
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28% of women in the US report at least one episode of
physical violence.
• Negotiating safer sex
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
People find it more embarrassing to talk about sex than
participate in it.
Rational thought and control are debilitated by alcohol or
drugs.
The Cycle of Abuse
Stage 1 Tension
Stage 4
Honeymoon
Stage 2
Explosion
Stage 3 Remorse
Relationships
Build
Stabilize
Deteriorate
Based on the communication involved!
Experiencing Communication
in our Lives . . .
View the following video clip and
then answer the questions that
follow based on material presented
in this chapter.
1. What love style do you think Meg and
Trevor have? What cues in the dialogue
lead you to identify each person’s love
style?
2. Based on the dialogue how would you judge
Trevor and Meg’s level of commitment to
the relationship?
3. What aspects of context seem to influence
Meg’s and Trevor’s preferences for how the
relationship should proceed?