Transcript Men`s orientations to partnering, having children and parenting

Men’s Orientations to Partnering,
Having Children and Parenting
Lynn Jamieson, Kathryn Backett Milburn, Roona
Simpson, Fran Wasoff
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships,
University of Edinburgh
www.crfr.ac.uk
BHPS Annual Conference, Manchester,
September 2008
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Relative neglect of attention to men in
analyses of the trend to low and very low
fertility in Western countries.
• Focus primarily on women as the agents of change,
attending to, for example, women’s control over their own
reproduction, trends in female employment and the
difficulties faced by women in reconciling paid work and
family life (McDonald, 2000).
• Authors who have made the case for paying more attention
to men’s procreative decisions and commitment to family
building in analysis of fertility trends have summarised
research showing the significance of fathers to children’s
wellbeing and of family life to the wellbeing of men
(Goldscheider and Kaufman 1996), and the social
determinants of ‘irresponsible’ sexual behaviour among
young men (Forste, 2002).
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Theoretical/Empirical Framework
The importance of the socio-cultural context (Bourdieu)
Partnering and parenting behaviour and attitudes of men as well as women
should be seen in the context of wider socio-economic and cultural changes
that have re-shaped the opportunities and costs of family life. The
biographical processes that underlie whether or not somebody comes to
want to be a parent, they type of parent they want to be and the size of
family are socially structured in this sense (Irwin 2006)
Geographical patterning of fertility trends suggests distinctive local cultures
of fertility (Boyle 2004, Boyle and Graham 2007).
Social interactions (face to face conversation, observation and more
mediated forms of knowledge) with a variety of potentially influential sources
(e.g. partners, family, workmates, friends, neighbours or the wider culture)
shape fertility attitudes and behaviour (eg Kohler et al 2002 ‘social feedback
effects’, Hobcraft 2004).
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Fertility Module, Scottish Social Attitudes
(SSA) Survey 2005
Research study contributing to theorising about
variations in fertility and to contribute to wider
public and policy debates about fertility and social
change, conducted between March 2005 and
November 2006, multi-disciplinary team based at
Universities of Edinburgh and St. Andrews.
Information on fertility attitudes, and how they
relate to peer networks and the local context in
which the respondents live, and data on this was
supplemented by Small Area statistics drawn from
the 2000 census (Wasoff and Dey, 2007).
Sub-sample:
406 men
aged 18-49,
womenand
aged
18-45
Centre
for Research
on375
Families
Relationships
Rural and Urban Solo Living Study
Two year study focusing on the social capital, quality
of life and present and future orientations of men and
women aged 25-44 living alone in urban/rural localities
in Scotland.
– Analysis of the Scottish Household Survey (SHS)
– Semi-structured telephone interviews with 140
individuals using the SHS as a sampling frame (75
men, 65 women).
– In-depth follow-up interviews with 40 individuals.
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Men and Child Free Social Worlds
Men less likely than women of childbearing age to
inhabit worlds peopled with children.
SSA data:
• Fewer men reported being the biological parent of
a child (51% fathers, 66% mothers).[underreporting of male fertility, Rendall et al.1999]
• 36% of fathers lived in childless households.
• Fewer men than women lived with children (Table
1).
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Scottish Social Attitudes Survey, 2005
Household of Residence by Age and Sex
Age 18-29
Men
Women
One person
9%
9%
household
2 or more
65%
44%
adults, no
children
Lone parent
0
10%
and children
Adults and
26%
37%
children
Total
117 (`100%) 139 (`100%)
Age30-49
Men
13%
Age30-45
Women
10%
42%
20%
1%
11%
45%
59%
281 (`100%)
234 (`100%)
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Scottish Social Attitudes Survey, 2005
‘How many of your friends, including any relatives to whom you are close, have
children?’ by age and whether has fathered or given birth to a child
18-29 years old
Men 30-49 & women 30-45
no child
Fathered or had
No child
Father or had
child
child
About
half or
more
Not
many or
none
N=100%
Men
Women
Men
Women
Men
Women
Men
Women
39%
65%
57%
87%
75%
89%
97%
95%
61%
35%
43%
13%
25%
11%
3%
5%
105
93
21
47
93
36
188
199
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Solo Living Study:
• The majority of the solo-living men (51) had never
fathered a child.
• 21 had a living biological child (3 deceased), 12 of
whom were involved fathers with regular contact
with their children, 3 had some contact and 6 little
or no contact.
• Just under half of the childless solo living men (23)
seemed fairly certain that they did not want and
would not have children, with the ‘older’ age
groups of childless men (ages 35-44) more likely to
say that they do not want children.
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Half of men who have never been fathers described their
friends as mostly people who were also childless. Fewer
than one in five said they spent time with friends’ children or
had a lot of contact with nephews or nieces (seeing them at
least weekly). The proportion of childless solo-living women
with high levels of contact with friends’ children or nephews
or nieces was about double that of their male counterparts.
By definition, solo-living men who were involved fathers had
contact with their own children. Some involved fathers not
only spent time with their own children, but the children of
friends and family and their own children’s friends.
Overall very few of the solo-living men in our sample
inhabited worlds that were child rich and many had very
little contact with children.
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Men’s Fertility in the Context of Partnering
Number of children ever fathered or given birth by partnership status and age
Men under 30 Women under 30
Men 30-49
Women 30-45
Current No
Current
No
Current
No
Current
No
cohab such cohab or such cohab or such cohab or such
or prev history prev
history prev history prev
history
marria
marriage
marriage
marriag
ge
e
None 54%
94%
32%
86%
26%
77%
13%
43%
At
46%
6%
68%
14%
74%
23%
87%
57%
least
one
Total
33
93
53
88
241
39
212
21
100
%
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Both partnership status and history and age have an impact
on fertility intentions as well as actual fertility. The SSA
sample shows those most likely to anticipate remaining
childlessness were older respondents with no partner.
While the overwhelming majority of both men and women
ideally want to become parents in the context of a
partnership, for men, becoming a parent in any other
context is rarely considered as even a possibility. Among
our sample of solo-living men, 31 were childless and
without a current partner. When asked, half of them said
they wanted to become fathers but often spontaneously
stressing that a partner has to come first. For example ‘Oh
yes, but that would require me to meet the right person’
(Alfie, aged 41).
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Men in non-resident partnerships and
attitudes to fatherhood
‘Living Apart Together’ (LAT) relationships (Gierveld, 2004,
Haskey, 2005, Holmes, 2006, Levin, 2004 ).
Such partnerships among childless heterosexual couples of
childbearing age are not always viewed by participants as steps
towards co-resident parenting.
Solo Living data: 25 men were in sexual or romantic
relationships with someone living elsewhere. Most had lasted
over a year and were regarded as serious a long-term.
Only a minority of solo-living positive about prospect of future
cohabitation. Half of the childless men with long-term partners
did not want to have children.
The most common reasons childless men gave for not seeking
to live with their partner were enjoyment of living alone, their or
their partner’s unsuitability for a co-resident relationship and/or
the unsuitability of their partner for a permanent relationship.
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Men not wanting/expecting partnership
or fatherhood
The solo-living men who did not have partners and did not want children
encompassed the extremes of socio-economic polarisation found among
people living alone: those living on low incomes, in social housing
struggling with health problems and under-employment versus highly paid
professionals living in relative comfort.
Sam migrated to Scotland to do a course in higher education and had a
well paid job using his IT skills. Explains not seeking a partner in terms of
enjoyment of living alone. Presents himself as child averse: “I have
thought about whether or not I would like children, and the answer is ‘No!’
It quite terrifies me!”
Alastair had been diagnosed as schizophrenic, and lived in a small
housing association flat. He referred to his mental illness by way of
explanation for “not really actively seeking a long term partner”; when
asked about children he said, “I don’t think I’d be able to cope with the
demands of raising children.”
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Men’s Anxieties as Providers?
Financial provision spontaneously raised by several men who
were hesitant when asked about having children.
Campbell (aged 34) a relatively well paid academic,
commented, ‘I’ve thought about it but I think my life
circumstances would have to change a lot. And then security,
just boring things like security of income become very
important.’ Although he was in a secure job, he also indicated a
desire for a future career switch, in part due to long working
hours.
Time and energy for children as well as money.
Mark (age 33) So I’d really have to sort of assess whether my
life/work balance was going to give a bit of time to them [i.e. to
possible future children]. Yeah, I suppose I would do one day
but I think to myself that I’d have to actually be a lot more
financially secure than I am just now.
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Financial provision factor in fertility expectations among the
more disadvantaged respondents, Comments to this effect
were made by non-resident fathers as well as childless
men.
Nathan (age 40) an involved father with one child said
Always, from when I was a young man I wanted more than
one child, but again circumstances dictate that I would
need to be in a substantially better financial position.
Anthony (age 34) who had no contact with his child
similarly said, I would love to have loads and loads of kids
but unfortunately there’s a thing called money. Do you
know what I mean? I’d love to live like the Walton’s but
they need to be provided for and when it all goes wrong
there's a thing called the CSA.
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
Concluding Discussion
Young men and women continue to inhabit rather different
social worlds with likely consequences for their orientations
towards parenting and the possibilities they take up of
partnering and having children. Our data suggest that young
men have more limited access than young women both to
experiential accounts about the business of parenting and to
direct contact with children. Lack of awareness of the
practical realities of the processes of having and bringing up
children is consistent with keeping children as a vague
future possibility and denial of urgency. An absence of focus
on having children in turn eases the need for long term
relationships to be converted into co-resident partnerships
which in turn reinforces delay in focusing on having children.
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
While the idea that financial security is essential to
having children dissipates with age, the traditional
role of provider still peppers men’s reflections on
whether or not to have children and provides them
with reason for caution and delay.
Although traditional gender roles are no longer
seen as being the right thing to do, they continue to
give men and women rather different reasons for
avoiding larger families. While women may be
more worried about the impact on their progress at
work, men remain more attuned than women to the
risk that children or additional children will result in
men becoming the sole household earner.
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
References
• Berrington, Ann (2004) ‘Perpetual postponers? women's, men's
and couple's fertility intentions and subsequent fertility
behaviour’ Population Trends 117, 9-19
• Biddlecom, A. and Greene, M. (2004) Absent and Problematic
Men: Demographic Accounts of Male Reproductive Roles,
Population and Development Review,26, 1.
• Boyle, Paul (2003) ‘Population geography: does geography
matter in fertility research’ Progress in Human Geography 27,5
pp. 615–626
• Boyle, P, Graham, E, and Feng, Z. (2007) ‘Fertility variations in
Scotland: geographical influences’ CRFR Briefing 33
http://www.crfr.ac.uk/Reports/rb33.pdf
• Forste, R. (2002) ‘Where are All the Men? A Conceptual
Analysis of the Role of Men in Family Formation’ Journal of
Family Issues 2002; 23; 579
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships
• Goldscheider, F.K. and Kaufman, G. (1996) 'Fertility and
commitment: Bringing men back in'. Population and
Development Review 22: 87-99. Gierveld, J. (2004).
Remarriage, Unmarried Cohabitation, Living Apart
Together: Partner Relationships Following Bereavement
or Divorce. Journal of Marriage and the Family 66, 236243.
• Haskey, J (2005). Living arrangements in contemporary
Britain: having a partner who usually lives elsewhere;
Living-apart-together, LAT. Population Trends 122, 3546.
• Hobcraft, J. (2004) ‘Method, theory and substance in
understanding choices about becoming a parent:
Progress or regress?’ Population Studies 58, 81-84
• Holmes, M. (2006).‘Love Lives at a Distance: Distance
Relationships over the Lifecourse’, Sociological
Centre
for Research
Research
Online 11 on Families and Relationships
•
Irwin, S. (2005) Reshaping Social Life, Routledge, London.
• Kaufman, G. and Goldscheider, F. (2007). 'Do men "need" a spouse more
than women? Perceptions of the importance of marriage for men and
women'. Sociological Quarterly 48: 29-46.
• Kaufman, G. (1997). 'Men's attitudes toward parenthood'. Population
Research and Policy Review 16: 435-446.
• Kohler, H.-P., Billari, F.C and Ortega, J. (2002) The emergence of lowestlow fertility in Europe during the 1990s, Population and Development
Review, 28(4): 641-680.
• Levin, I. (2004). Living apart together: A new family form. Current
Sociology 52, pp. 223-240.
• McDonald, P. 2000. 'Gender equity in theories of fertility transition'.
Population and Development Review 26: 427• Wasoff, F. and Dey, I. (2007) ‘Fertility variations in Scotland: Actual,
expected and ideal fertility’ CRFR Briefing 32
http://www.crfr.ac.uk/Reports/rb32.pdf
Centre for Research on Families and Relationships