Transcript BEING SINGLE Singles are

SOCI 2160
Day 10
January 14, 2012
Agenda
• Discuss next part of scenario
assignment
• Planning for Wedding Presentations
• Lifestyle Alternatives
•
SOCI 2160
Marriage and Family
LIFESTYLE
ALTERNATIVES
Choices one may make
Marriage
Remaining single
Being single again
Being a single parent
Same Sex lifestyles
Choices, continued
Alternatives to traditional
marriage
Communes
Group marriage
(cinogamous marriage)
Commuter marriage
Marriage
Intended to serve several
functions
Replace members
Socialize members
Regulate sexual behavior
Stabilize adult
personalities/provide
companionship
WHY DO PEOPLE MARRY?
Personal fulfillment
achieving a childhood goal
Companionship
sharing experiences
Parenthood
Security
Some choose not to marry
Categories:
Never married
Divorced and
separated
Widowed single
Alternative careers
MYTHS: BEING SINGLE
Singles are "tied to mom's apron
strings" or "daddy's little girl"
Singles are selfish
Singles are rich
Singles are happier
There are more singles now than
ever
There is something wrong with
singles
REALITY
Many singles view being single as
an acceptable lifetime option
Singles do not readily fit into
married society
Singles may have more time
Singles may have more fun
Singles may be lonely
Life for singles is changing for the
better
SOURCE OF DATA
Study done by Cargan and Melko, 1982
400 systematically selected households in
Dayton, Ohio
114 never married; 37 divorced;
205 first marriage; 44 remarried
Increases in single population
are due to:
Population increase in
young adult category
Return to pattern of late
marriage that predominated
until 1950's
Increasing numbers,
continued
Disproportionate numbers of men
and women
Changing attitudes toward
staying single
Free-floating, voluntary
Open-coupled relationship
Closed-coupled relationship;
possibly planning to marry
Typology of Singlehood
Voluntary
Temporary
Stable
Not seeking
mates but
not opposed
Singles not
seeking
marriage
(STEIN,
1981)
Involuntary
Seeking mates
for first or
second time
Never married
who have more or
less accepted
singlehood
SINGLES' LIVING
ARRANGEMENTS
Living with parents
Group or communal
living
Cohabitation
Gay and lesbian
partners
Women sharing men
INCOME ISSUES
Underemployment, especially for
single women with children
Employment discrimination
especially for single men
More likely to rent apartment than
own home; more likely to be urban
than suburban
SINGLE PARENTHOOD
Single mothers by choice
Adoption
Intercourse with a
selected partner
 Insemination by a
selected donor
 Insemination by an
unknown donor
MORE TYPES of SINGLE PARENTS
Divorced or widowed parents
Single fathers by choice
adoption
surrogacy issues
Adolescent pregnancies
CHALLENGES FACED BY
SINGLE PARENTS
Children's emotional needs
Discipline
Meeting their own needs
Adult sexual needs
("do as I say; not as I do!")
Money
Guardian in case of death or disability
Prenatal care
Rituals and traditions
Other family members
SAME SEX LIFESTYLES
Societal distinctions
nature versus nurture
"coming out" and other family
issues
Establishing stable
relationships
Prejudice / discrimination
Coming Out to a Partner and
Same-Sex Marriage
Risks of “Coming Out”
Benefits of “Coming Out”
Parental and Family Members’
Reactions
Some report feeling better being open
and honest.
Harassment and Discrimination at
School
Benefits the Entire GLBT Population
because research has shown that, in
general, heterosexuals have more
positive attitudes toward homosexuals
if they have had prior contact.
Discrimination and Harassment in the
Workplace
Hate Crime Victimization
SAME-SEX MARRIAGE
• As of 2010, six states and the District
of Columbia now offer civil marriage
licenses to same-sex couples
(Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts,
New Hampshire, Vermont, and
Maine).
• Antigay Marriage Legislation
–Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA)
• As of January 2013, nine states—
Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland,
Massachusetts, New Hampshire,
New York, Vermont, and
Washington—as well as the District
of Columbia and two Native
American tribes (Coquille and
Suquamish) — have legalized samesex marriage.
• In addition, Rhode Island recognizes
same-sex marriages performed in
other jurisdictions, and California,
which briefly granted same-sex
marriages in 2008, now recognizes
them on a conditional basis.
•
Source: wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-sex_marriage_in_the_United_States
• http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Fi
le:Samesex_marriage_in_USA.svg
• http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Fi
le:World_homosexuality_laws.svg
Relationships of Bisexuals
• Individuals who identify as bisexual
have the ability to form intimate
relationships with both sexes.
• Mixed-Orientation Relationships
• Lifetime Sexual Abuse
COMMUNES
a.k.a. Intentional community
collective
cooperative
some commonly shared principles
i.e., Environmentalism, holistic
health, positive vision, planetary
transformation
GROUP MARRIAGE
(cinogamy)
Individuals in a group living
arrangement (minimum of 3
persons) agree to open
sexual access to each other
Not legally recognized
Polyfidelity
COMMUTER MARRIAGE
Characteristics
Equal career commitment
Preference for living together
Problems
Interrupted conversations
Lack of shared leisure
Marital sex
Children
Deployment Issues
COMMUTER MARRIAGE
Benefits
Special effort for good
times when together
Limited bickering
Satisfaction with work
More personal time
LIVING
TOGETHER
Cohabitation
SOC 2160
COHABITATION
 Two persons, of the opposite
sex, sharing living quarters,
economic responsibilities
and engaged in a sexual
partnership
(POSSLQ)
REASONS
 Delay of marriage
 Fear of marriage
 Education/career
 Increased acceptance
 Birth control
 Stability without legal
ties
Types of Cohabitation
Here and
Now
Testers
Engaged
Money
Savers
Separated
Pension
Partners
Cohabitants
forever
Traditional Values?
Sharing housework?
Some yes; many see
it
traditionally as “woman’s
work”
sense of ‘belonging’
and well-being
Traditional Values?
Sexual activity?
higher frequency
of intercourse
compared to
singles and
marrieds
Sharing money in
cohabiting relationships
Experts advise -separate accounts and
shared living expenses
Develop written
agreements for things
purchased jointly
Sharing money in
cohabiting relationships
What should
happen
in the case of
large discrepancy
in incomes?
POTENTIAL ADVANTAGES
OF COHABITATION
 Sense of well-being
 Delayed marriage
 Gain information about
self and partner
ADVANTAGES, cont.
 Easier adjustment to
stepfamily for children
 Terminate unsatisfactory
relationships before
marriage and legal
entanglements
POTENTIAL
DISADVANTAGES
 Feeling or used tricked
 Problems with parents
 More depression among
mothers -- lacking family
context for children
 Setting example for children
DISADVANTAGES, cont.
 Economic
disadvantages
Taxes
Health care
Breaking up
Death
Points to Consider
How should a cohabiting
couple go about ending the
relationship?
without children present?
with children present?
To see or not to see?
What are advantages of
continuing to be “friends”?
What are possible
disadvantages of
continuing to have
contact with one
another?
Other Issues
• Dating on the “rebound”
–How soon?
–How quickly to become intimate?
–Would you date someone on the “rebound”?
–Why or why not?
• What can be learned?
Assignment
• Be ready to report on wedding plans
on Wednesday
• Next topic: Sexuality and having/not
having children
Being Single, Hanging Out,
Hooking Up, and Living
Together
Key Terms
•
Youthhood
– That period of time between
adolescence and adulthood, which
is characterized by lower
percentages of youth finishing
school, leaving home, getting
married, having a child, and
reaching financial independence
by age 30 than in previous years.
• Intentional Community (Commune)
– A group of people who choose to
live together on the basis of a set
of shared values.
• Hanging Out
– Going out in groups where the
agenda is to meet others and have
fun.
• Hooking Up
– A one-time sexual encounter in
which there is generally no
expectation of seeing each other
again.
• Bundling
– A courtship custom commonly
practiced among the Puritans that
involved the would-be groom’s
sleeping in the girl’s bed in her
parents’ home, with rules to
restrict sexual contact.
• Blind marriage
– The bride and groom are prevented
from seeing each other for the
first time until their wedding day.
• Cohabitation
– Residing in the same living quarters.
Also known as living together.
• POSSLQ
– People of the opposite sex sharing
living quarters.
• Common-law marriage
– A couple living together, defining
themselves as married, and wanting
other people to view them as a
married couple.
•
Palimony
– Refers to the amount of money
one “pal” who lives with another
“pal” may have to pay if the
partners end their relationship.