Transcript Document

WELCOME to Seminar 7
We will begin on time. Meanwhile, enjoy
chatting.
Never compromise a dream. Do what
you must. The fears, beasts, and
mountains before you are part of the
plan. Stepping stones to a promised
land. To a time and place that is so
much closer than even you expect. So
don't let your eyes deceive you, for
even as you read these words, your
ship swiftly approaches…
Mike Dooley
It’s SHOWTIME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome to Seminar #7
How is everyone today?
How was your week?
Unit 7 Work
• Discussion: Post Draft
Outlining
– Please post as early in the
week as possible.
• Project: Second Draft
– Due by midnight Tuesday.
– Posted in the Unit 7 Drop
Box
Post Draft Outline
• 1) Read your draft.
• 2) Number each paragraph.
• 3) Next to each number, describe what the
paragraph is about.
• 4) Read what you have written and decide
if you like the organization of your essay.
• This is NOT the same as the outline you
made for Unit 5, so do not turn that in
again or you will not get credit.
Unit 7 Project: Second Draft
• Must be at least 2 pages long (essay
text)
• Must have a three point thesis
• Must analyze the three points
• Must include at least 3 sources, two
of which are from the Kaplan Library.
• Must include in text citations
• Must have a reference page
• APA format: title page, double spaced,
12 point font, page #s, headers, etc.
Plagiarism Check
• The draft will be checked for plagiarism. If
the draft is plagiarized, it will receive a zero.
• If the draft receives a zero, you will be offered
the chance to rewrite it. You will not be able to
rewrite the final if it is plagiarized, so it is in your
interest to turn in the draft and have it checked.
• This plagiarism check is for your benefit
because you must learn how to use
borrowed material correctly.
Rules for Using Borrowed Material
• Most of the essay should be your ideas
and your words. Use borrowed material
only to prove your ideas.
• You can have too much quoted material
in your paper, so you will have to
evaluate which sections you want to
quote and which ones you want to
paraphrase or summarize.
Rules of Using Borrowed Material
(slide 2)
• When you use someone else’s exact
words (quoting):
– Put quotation marks around the material.
– Cite! (Author’s last name, date, pg #)
• Some rules for paraphrasing and
summarizing:
– Change all the words and the word order.
– Cite! ( )
Directions for Paraphrasing or
Summarizing
• Read the material you wish to paraphrase or
summarize. Read it until you understand it.
• CLOSE THE SOURCE that contains the
material you were reading.
• Ask yourself, “What did I just read?”
• With the source still closed tell yourself what
you read, using your own words. If you have
the source closed, you are not likely to use
the same words as the source, so you are
not likely to plagiarize.
There Is More Work to
Be Done on the Essay
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Just because you have completed a draft
doesn’t mean that you are done with the essay.
The final must be a minimum of 3-5 pages of
ESSAY, so you still have more research and
writing to do.
In addition, you will need to revise and edit your
writing.
You may not turn in the draft without making
significant changes.
What is wrong with the following
paragraph (if anything)?
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If you are worried about your finances,
take a look at your spending and your
attitudes. When we look at our
spending, we may see areas where we
waste money. Plus, one’s attitude
towards money may need changing.
Only by examining our habits and ideas
can you understand how you can
survive the economic downturn.
Inconsistent Point of View: That means that the writer is
jumping from YOU/YOUR to WE/OUR to ONE to OUR to
YOU.
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If you are worried about your finances,
[hidden “you”] take a look at your spending
and your attitudes. When we look at our
spending, we may see areas where we waste
money. Plus, one’s attitude towards money
may need changing. Only by examining our
habits and ideas can you understand how
you can survive the economic downturn.
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When you write, you must choose a point of
view and stick with it.
The paragraph rewritten in the third person,
without any use of YOU/YOUR or WE/OUR
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PEOPLE who are worried about THEIR finances
should take a look at THEIR spending and
THEIR attitudes. When THEY look at THEIR
spending, THEY may see areas where THEY
waste money. Plus, THEIR attitude towards
money may need changing. Only by examining
THEIR habits and ideas can THEY understand
how THEY can survive the economic downturn.
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Now the paragraph is consistent in its
point of view – 3rd person.
Your Essay
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Your essay should be written in the
third person
Examples of 3rd person:
 he,
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she, it, they, people, etc.
Do not use second person (you, your)
unless it is part of a direct quotation.
Do not use first person (I, me, my, mine,
we, our, us) unless giving a personal
example or it is part of a quotation.
What is a conclusion?
What are some techniques you can use
to write a good conclusion?
Used with permission of Debbie Ridpath Ohi
An effective concluding paragraph
is more than a summary.
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Many find writing the conclusion difficult. Since
conclusions leave the reader with a final impression,
bland conclusions leave the reader feeling empty or
with a "so what" feeling.
Merely summarizing what you have already written
does just that: It's blah! Since your essays are
short, your readers are capable of remembering
what you have already written, so repeating what
you have already said is boring.
Make your conclusion a “zinger”!
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If you were watching the end of a movie and all the
end did was summarize what you had already
watched, you'd be disappointed. The same is true
for your essay. Don't disappoint your readers by
merely repeating what you've already said.
Like a great movie ending, put in a twist. Give it a
“wow” effect. Make it
 Unexpected
 Exciting
 Challenging
A good conclusion may
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(1)
(2)
(3)
(4)
(5)
Suggest a change
Predict what will happen next
Solve a problem
Use a quotation
Draw a conclusion.
Since people usually remember whatever
they read, hear, or see last, think of your
conclusion as your last chance to emphasize
your main idea
Leave them smiling at the end!
Omar, the smiling sea lion
Report Style
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The Fort Myers Police internal
investigation, along with the investigation
by the Florida Department of Law
Enforcement should provide sufficient
evidence to either exonerate the officers of
wrong doing or allow the grand jury to
recommend proceeding with a criminal
trial.
Definition
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With some witnesses claiming that Weston was
unarmed and uninvolved in the incident and the
lack of a weapon found near Weston, the police
may have a difficult time proving the shooting
was justified. Since the grand jury only has to
find probable cause, not proof beyond a
reasonable doubt, it is indeed possible that the
Fort Myers Police officers involved in the
shooting will be defending their actions before a
jury of their peers.
Background Information
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Weston took medication for his mental illnesses,
and when he ran out, he would sometimes call
the police for a ride to the local mental health
facility. Because of his frequent negative
encounters with police, when the officers arrived
to transport him, Weston would kneel, raise his
arms in the air, and then place his hands behind
his head. Perhaps this habit contributed to his
death on February 2.
Quotation
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Regardless of the outcome of the grand
jury investigation, residents do not intend
to back down from their demands for a
civilian review board and the removal of
the chief. As Dunbar resident and
Coalition for Justice member Sherry Battle
put it, “People are angry, frustrated, and
confused” (Johnson, 2007, p. A12).
Surprising Fact
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The contradictory testimony of witnesses,
Weston’s mental illness, and his history of
violence make unraveling this case
difficult. Even if he did not have a
weapon, Weston’s actions could have
been seen as threatening to police
officers, particularly in the dark and with
shots already fired. Perhaps the grand
jury will be able to come to a conclusion as
to what exactly happened that night.
Offer a Challenge
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Police and community members need to work
together in order for there to be a safe place for
families to raise their children and all to thrive.
Distrust and suspicion lead only to more of the
same, blocking productive efforts to have crime
free neighborhoods where children can play.
Mutual third party moderated talks between the
community and the police would be helpful for
the good of all citizens of Fort Myers.
Call for More Research
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Police officers and the mentally ill do not mix
well. Officers receive a lot of training in
defensive driving, felony stops, safe use of
firearms, etc., but little education about how to
handle calls that involve people with mental
illnesses. More research is needed on how
officers can enforce the law, remain safe, and
handle those with mental illnesses. Through
research, perhaps effective means can be found
to deal with the problem, so no other mentally ill
person will die from police bullets.
Other Ideas for
Conclusions
You can ask questions.
 You can speculate about the
future of your topic. Seeing
future implications will help
readers to see the importance
of your topic and how it
applies to their lives and their
communities.
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Some helpful questions to ask
when drawing your conclusion:
So what? Does your essay have any value
beyond getting a grade? Is your topic of
importance to people?
 Where do we go from here? How can your
topic impact people’s lives?
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The Last Word on
Conclusions
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Keep in mind that the conclusion is the
reader's last impression about what you are
saying, so you want it to be a "zinger,"
something that will stay with them, make
them think, decide if what you have written is
correct and they should change their way of
thinking.
Your goal is to leave a lasting impression
and have readers react to what you have
written.
Internet Sources &
Search Engines
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Internet material includes online
dictionaries, encyclopedias, thesaurus,
and web sites.
To use the Internet, you will need to
use a search engine.
 Can
anyone give me the
name of a search engine?
What is a search engine?
Examples: Dogpile, Google, Yahoo, MSN,
Ask Jeeves, Look Smart, About.
 These are just a few of the many out
there, but what exactly IS a search
engine????????
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Search Engines
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Using a search engine is like having your
own private librarian. You go to the search
engine and type in what you want. The
search engine brings back a list of web sites
that might meet your needs.
However, you will have to wade through those
web sites to see if any of the hits have
information that you can use. Results vary.
To use a search engine, type key words in
the box in the search engine, not in the
address box on the tool bar.
What are "key words"?
Key Words
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Key words are words that are connected to
your topic, that describe your topic. Key
words are used to find information about your
topic.
They are called "key words" not only
because they can "unlock" the doors
to information, but also because they are
important aspects of your topic.
How do you find key words?
Finding Key Words
• Usually, finding key words is not
difficult because you can use your
topic and point.
• However, if you have an unusual
topic, you might need to do more than
that.
• If you are having trouble finding
information, change your key words.
How to Find More Key Words
– Write one or two sentences about your
topic.
– Underline words that describe your topic.
– Make a list of those words.
– Read more about your topic to find more
words or look in the thesaurus.
– Add to your list new words and phrases or
rearranged words and phrases.
More on Finding Key Words
• If you can not find information with one key
word, try a different one.
• If your topic was “putting human genes
in animals,” you might not find all the
information you need with just those words.
• However, reading more on the topic would
help you find more key words:
– human genes in animals,
– genetically engineered animals,
– transgenic,
– chimera
Boolean Search
• Boolean searches use plus
signs (+) and minus signs (-)
and the words "and, or, not."
• For example, if you wanted
to buy a Toy Poodle in Lee
County, you would type in
Toy Poodle + Lee County + FL
OR
Toy Poodle and Lee County and
Florida
Boolean Searching
• If you are getting sites that include related words
that you don't want, use the word NOT (some
search engines use the minus sign instead)
before a word to exclude sites with those words.
• Example: If you want sites on hogs (pigs), but
you keep getting Harleys, type:
– Hogs NOT Harleys
• or try
– hogs - motorcycles
More Searching
• If your searching brings you too few sources or
even none at all, try using the word OR
between related words.
• Example:
• Economy OR money AND illegal immigrants
NOT statistics
• To increase your web search techniques,
experiment with combining key words using
Boolean operators (and, not, or).
Your success in using search
engines depends on 3 things:
1. The search engine you use
2. The key words you use
3. Your evaluation of the information you
find
Writing Tip: Plurals & Possessives
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Many people confuse plurals and possessives.
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Plural = more than one;
Possessive = ownership.
Plurals are usually indicated by merely
adding an "s" (boys).
 The boys are riding their bikes.
 [More than one boy is riding a bike.]
Possessives are usually indicated by
adding an apostrophe + "s" (boy's).
 That is the boy’s bike.
 [One boy owns the bike.]
Plural Possessives
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Plural possessive = More than one
person owns things.
To get this correct, you must first make
the plural and then add the possessive.
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The two boys' bikes were stolen.
To indicate that TWO boys own bikes,
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first make the plural, "boys,"
and then add ONLY an apostrophe: boys’.