Transcript Mindful Parenting Our Lady of Wisdom School April 8, 2015

Mindful Parenting:
Building Resilience & Mindfulness in Children
Sara Marlowe, MSW, RSW
www.mindfulfamilies.ca
April 8, 2015
Copyright © 2015 Sara Marlowe MSW, RSW
Stop
Take a breath
Observe
Proceed
Reflection
Mindfulness = placing your attention in one place
Awareness = noticing when your mind has wandered away
Why Meditation?
P
R
A
C
T
I
C
E
Attitudinal Foundations
of Mindfulness
Acceptance
Beginner’s Mind
Non-judgment
Letting Be
Patience
Non-striving
Trust
Compassion
Mindfulness & the Brain
Mindfulness practice strengthens our ability to:
•
Notice & observe our experiences (mid prefrontal cortex)
•
Respond to stress in a more calm way (amygdala)
•
Regulate emotions (slows activity in the insula)
•
Not be controlled by the negativity bias of the brain
•
Be more compassionate & empathic (right hemisphere)
How Mindfulness Supports Parenting
• What’s most important
now?
• Single-tasking
• Notice our ‘buttons’
• Self-awareness
• (mirror neurons)
• Intentional parenting
• Self-kindness &
compassion
Mindful Parents – Resilient Children
Foundations of
Mindful Parenting
 Sovereignty
 Empathy
 Acceptance
- Jon & Myla Kabat-Zinn
Mindful Parenting – Resilient Children
• Mirror neurons
• Parental emotional-regulation – supports children’s
emotional-regulation
• Mindfulness supports us to more fully show up for our
children
– Less distracted & More Present for the fun times & the challenging ones
• Less likely to unconsciously pass on unwanted parenting practices
that we experienced as children
“We have more possibilities available in each
moment than we realize.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Keeping the‘Brain in Mind’
Dr. Daniel Siegel
Staying on the High Road
(Conscious parenting)
Stress
↓
Pause (Awareness)
↓
Response
“We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Going Down the Low Road
(Knee Jerk Parenting)
Stress
↓
Immediate Response
When we happen to go down the low road…
“Repairing
ruptures is
the most
essential
thing in
parenting…”
Dr. Daniel
Siegel
How do we not “Flip our Lids”
when we are REALLY
emotionally charged?
•
•
•
•
•
Deep breaths
Take a time out
Tag team – when possible
Get active – (move around, go for a walk)
Personal mantra to help calm down
– E.g. “This too shall pass,” “I’m doing the best I
can,” “I’m having a hard day”
Three Minute Breathing Space
Brain-based Communication
Dan Siegel: Key Concepts
•
•
•
•
Connect and Redirect
Name It to Tame It
Engage, Don't Enrage
Move it or lose it
“Respond with the Right,
Redirect with the Left”
Narrate your own Emotions
Self-kindness
&
Compassion
Practice
TIPS for Mindful Caregiving
 Find time for yourself and be in stillness at least once a day, even if for 3
minutes…
 Schedule time to just be with your children, with no agenda in mind.
 Practice seeing the world through your child’s eyes, stepping into their
experience.
 Get to know yourself well... really, really well. Learn to become an
observer of thoughts, emotions and body sensations and the messages
they may be offering you
TIPS for Mindful Caregiving
 Invite compassion to be the default when you’re just not sure what to do.
 Check in with your body throughout the day and let go of any tension
being held – our children are soaking up our emotional and bodily states
(through mirror neurons).
 Spend a few moments everyday reflecting on a pleasant moment you had
with your child/ren and/or something you appreciate about them.
 Be intentional with your use of technology.
 Keep the brain in mind, especially during challenging parenting moments.
TIPS for Mindful Caregiving
 Give yourself permission to take a time out and ask for help.
 Remember to breathe... lots
Planting the Seeds of Mindfulness with Children:
much more than sitting still…
• Modeling – practicing mindfulness yourself
• Making a family relaxation jar
• Stillness snow globes / mind jars
• Eating a meal together with no technology
• Sharing what you are grateful for
• Buddy breathing
• Spending time together in nature
• Coming together at a certain time each day to take a few breaths and
connect (i.e. before school / work)
• Reflecting on a pleasant event that happened that day
• Narrating children’s emotions – as coming & going
• Teaching children about their brain & emotions
Take home intention
“Everyday Blessings”
• Sovereignty – makes it
possible for children to show
their true selves and find their
own way
• Empathy – “what did I most
want from my parents when I
was a child?”
• Acceptance – acknowledges
things as they are, whether
they are the way we want
them to be or not
Mirror Neurons
Observe
WHY MEDITATION?