Transcript College App Essay 2015 updated

The College Application Essay
Leave your fears at the door because
you will sparkle!
Personal Narrative
• The college application essay is not a formal,
expository piece!
• It should tell a story, and should illustrate key
traits that you want to share with your
readers, college admission counselors
• This essay is the one thing in the college
admissions process that you can absolutely
control!
Your Audience
• Realize that you are used to your “audience”
being a single teacher who reads your essay,
gives feedback, and assigns a grade.
• You need to grab the attention of an
overworked, glassy-eyed admissions counselor
who reads one boring essay after another. Or
several of these poor creatures.
• You want your reader to say, “I want that kid
in my class/dorm/club.”
The Common Application
• There are five options. All five essays work well with
the structure I will be suggesting. The prompts have
changed for 2015. New language is in italics.
• 1. Some students have a background, identity, interest,
or talent that is so meaningful they believe their
application would be incomplete without it. If this
sounds like you, then please share your story.
• Consider this an invitation to write about whatever you
wish. This question replaced the “topic of choice”
option. I still think it works as a topic of choice essay.
• Don’t let question one intimidate you. You
don’t have to have climbed Mount Everest as
a double amputee to write this one.
• Mundane, every day topics are fine. More
than fine—they can really highlight who you
are.
• I have seen students write about their hair,
baking cookies, and playing guitar.
2. The lessons we take from failure can be
fundamental to later success. Recount an incident
or time when you experienced failure. How did it
affect you, and what did you learn from the
experience?
Don’t be afraid to show that you did, in fact, fail.
This is a great essay choice because it literally asks
you to tell a story.
• Problems make great stories. Great stories can
turn into compelling essays.
• Show how failure helped you realize something
or changed something about yourself.
3. Reflect on a time when you challenged a
belief or idea. What prompted you to act?
Would you make the same decision again?
• This can give students who have strong social,
religious, philosophical, or gendered beliefs
an opportunity to shine
• Make it about YOU, not the idea.
• Conversely, you could approach it as a time
that someone challenged YOU.
• In asking whether you would make the same
decision again, the prompt encourages you to
analyze, reflect, and evaluate. SHOW THIS.
4. Describe a problem you've solved
or a problem you'd like to solve. It
can be an intellectual challenge, a
research query, an ethical
dilemma-anything that is of
personal importance, no matter
the scale. Explain its significance
to you and what steps you took or
could be taken to identify a
solution.
• Great prompt, glad they added it! It asks you to
tell a story.
• Consider the formula: Problem you have
faced/are facing; what you have done to deal
with it; what you learned in the process, and why
it mattered.
• They even tell you “no matter the scale.” This
could be a place to discuss a crisis in your life, or
to tell a funny story about why having big feet has
been an issue.
• 5. Discuss an accomplishment or event,
formal or informal, that marked your
transition from childhood to adulthood
within your culture, community, or family.
• Possible pitfalls of this essay include writing
about birthdays, bar/bat mitzvahs, and
Scouting achievements. Yes, they are
achievements, but not always compelling
• Consider writing about a problem you faced,
and how you grew up as a result of facing it,
wrestling with it, etc.
• If you have a rich cultural heritage, consider
writing about a life transition within that
culture.
• Also consider writing about a time when you
had to make a more “adult” decision and what
you learned from it.
Structure
• Anecdotes!
Tell your reader a mini story that illustrates
something.
Use the first person.
Show a defining trait or quality that you have.
• Memorable essays can have mundane topics.
• Write the essay that only you can write.
• Don’t Roget. Don’t “thesaurus” words trying
to sound older or “smarter” than you are. It
backfires. Admission counselors have
excellent BS detectors.
How to Start the Essay
• Think BOTH anecdotally and cinematically.
• What does this mean? Start your personal
narrative (which does NOT mean one long
story) with a short anecdote that highlights or
illustrates your point.
• Pretend your essay is a movie. Where is the
camera? What details can the viewer see?
• You are telling a story.
How to Stop
• Your conclusion matters. It is the last bit that
you give the admission counselor about you.
• Don’t do a formulaic restate of a thesis.
• Bring the essay full circle. If you referenced
cooking in your introduction, reference it
again in your conclusion.
• If you are talking about the past, link it to
today, or to the future.
• It’s OK to be a little corny and indicate your
hopes/dreams/goals here.
Avoid Cliches “Like the Plague”
• My hard work paid off
• It/he/she made me who I am today
• I watched Fluffy’s life ebb away, and I know I
understand the meaning of life
• The time I won my town a race
• I took a trip and broadened my horizons
• World Peace is the most important thing
today
“Soft” Don’ts, because exceptions exist
• Reconsider the following:
• 1. High school relationships and how they
ended
• 2. Religious beliefs (unless a college asks)
• 3. Politics
• 4. How you are awesome
• 5. College is important
• 6. Blaming your poor academics on someone
7. Really big ideas that you haven’t thought
through before
8. “The Best Game of My Life” or another
athletic incident written in a too serious style
9. Your vacation, or trip, unless a service trip or
noteworthy for some other reason.
After the Draft
• Fast forward to having a draft of an essay…
• Get feedback from trusted readers.
• Parents do NOT always make the best readers
for personal narratives.
• Realize that you are GOING TO HAVE TO
REWRITE IT.
• It bears repeating: YOU WILL HAVE TO REVISE
IT. The best essays I have had from students
had several incarnations before submission.
Pitfall Problems
• Writing about the death of someone you did
not know well for shock value
• Writing about someone that you DO know
well without saying anything about YOURSELF.
• Allowing anyone (parents, aunts, neighbor or
your seventh grade English teacher) to add
their voice to your work. Use YOUR WORDS.
• Knowing when a topic is TOO PERSONAL
without getting guidance.
• Humor. Funny and not funny has a fine line,
sometimes. If you are naturally funny, let this
shine. Don’t try too hard. If you are telling
about a funny incident, don’t write it in a
sanitized, formal style.
• Blowing off the essay. If you are applying to a
small school, a highly selective school or
program, or an honors program, the essay
counts. It could be the difference between a yes
and a no.
Tips for Revision
1. The Paramedic Method:
• I learned this from George Ray at Washington
and Lee University, who adopted it from
Richard Lanham’s Revising Prose. The
following comes from Perdue University’s
OWL site. You should adopt this with religious
fervor.
Paramedic Method from Perdue’s OWL
• Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto,
into)
• Draw a box around the "is" verb forms
• Ask, "Where's the action?"
• Change the "action" into a simple verb
• Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking
whom)
• Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups
• Eliminate any redundancies.
• Remember that nouns and verbs are your
friends, and they need to be strong.
• Avoid the verb forms of “to be”
• Revise prepositional phrases if you can
• Use adjectives and adverbs like salt—too
much is too much.
• Did I mention using strong, active verbs?
Additional info
• Perdue’s Online Writing Lab (OWL) is a go-to
source for everything research and writing.
• https://owl.english.purdue.edu
• Don’t laugh at the title, but this is the BEST site I
have seen for writing the college application
essay: http://www.essayhell.com
• The admissions information is dated, but Writing
the College Essay by Harry Bauld is still the best
about writing: http://smile.amazon.com/WritingCollege-Application-EssayAcceptance/dp/0064637220/ref=smi_www_rcolv
2_go_smi?_encoding=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entri
es*=0
Post Script
• There are words I hate to see in personal
narratives. I reserve the right to add to this list:
• 1. Epiphany. You had one, good for you. Don’t
overuse the word.
• 2. Plethora. ‘Nuff said.
• 3. Utilize. UGH.
• 4. Impact/Impacting/Impactful. Unless we are
talking about wisdom teeth or bowels (yuck),
then don’t use these.